do my parents hate me?

Question

well im 17 ,18 in 2 months 3 years ago my parents got a divorce my mom left my dad was with another man for 2 years i was doing better and getting over it then one day my mom deceided she had a enough and wanted back and my dad said yes i said f no but it didnt matter when she came back she also had 60,00 dollars in debt and to this day we are still in debt and they cant help me pay for collage, ever since she came back my mom tries to control me i cant have a myspace up until 3 months ago i couldnt have a girlfriend when i go hang out with my friends she follows me and has people spy on me, when i go to the store i see her behind me seing where im going she hates my friends and wont letthem come over when my parents got divorced i went to school b4 that i was homeschooled wen she came bk she made me be homeschooled
this year i get 2 go 2 a christian school bc im a senior but i have to pay for it myself im just upset with all this and want to know if i am justified at all and wt 2 do
Additional Details

13 hours ago
just to explain more my friends arent a bad influence they took me to church and youth group and they kept me out of trouble and from killing myself, i work my butt off in school so i can get into collage and be a nurse and its not that i wanted a gf they said that i couldnt have one , once i got grounded for having a girl call my cellphone(not a bad girl mrs victorian 4.0 student and my parents scared her away.

Answer 1

I understand your anger. You are justified for being upset. If you get through this and find a way to make it happen. You've won. She can't harm you anymore. Once you are in college. You are basically free to do what you want. Especially if they have dorms. Just live on campus. Then do your best to be self sufficient.

Answer 2

I'm as sure as I can be they don't hate you, but they do seem unusually controlling. I wonder if there's something in the past makes them think they can't trust you, or think you're irresponsible? I get they can't afford to pay for stuff because of your Mom's debt, but following you and having people spy on you? You need to talk to them to find out what it is they are afraid of exactly and find out what you can do to reassure them you can be trusted with more freedom. It may take a while since trust isn't earned overnight, if they are willing to relinquish some control. If they didn't care, they'd be indifferent. I hope you get the opportunity to prove you deserve some freedom to make your own choices and mistakes.

Answer 3

It seems like your mom is trying to make up for time or something. She seems also fearful that you may make the mistakes that she is. I think they are being a little harsh when it comes to the money issue. I think you may have to pay for some of it, but I also think they should help your burden. It was her choice to home-school and send you to a Christian School so I feel her decisions should reflect some responsibility on her part. It seems they want the best for you, and perhaps just don't know how to completely show it in the way your looking for. It seems she is trying to line you up with a moral background, in fear of her own mistakes falling on you. I wish you the best and I hope that your parents can trust you enough to allow you to have a personal life. You need to ask them why they don't trust your decisions and is their mis-trust unjustified? I would truly sit down and share your feelings and ask for answers. Goodluck with all of that and I pray God opens doors for you to have the opportunity to enjoy your teens with good friends!

Answer 4

It sounds like your parents are preoccupied with the whole seperation thing and being in debt. They are both confused, and do not know where to turn to, themselves. It sounds like you are a good young man, caught in the middle of this mess, my dear. I would hate to see you go without some kind of councilling. Ask your pastor for some.
There are sometimes clubs in a church that would make your mother more comfortable about you dating. It sounds like she picked up some baggage when she was with that 'other guy,' and I'll bet you can guess what it is. You guessed it, the guy was a cheat (or she was,) and now she does not want to take a chance on you 'screwing up' your life like she did hers. She is both shamed and hurt.
She loves you, and that is how she can show it, by holding on to you. I can tell, as she spent a good part of her life homeschooling you. She does not know how to love you, most people don't. Sit down and ask her how you can show her you love her, and then tell her how she can love you. Councilling would be good for the both of you. It is free in church. She is not likely to want to go, as she feels unworthy, and ashamed at what she pulled. 'Guilt' is written all over her actions.
Again, you are a very fine individual! You will be okay. God will bless you, as you submit to your parents for these two months, and respect them always. She needs to cram for two months on how to let you go, as you will soon be emancipated.
She thinks you are the only pure thing in her life right now. It is hard for her to have enough faith in God that you won't screw that up for her. I trust you won't, God will bless you so much in whatever you do. You may disappoint her, but then you are not hers to keep. You are who God made, and you are His alone, there is no disappointing Him, His love is unconditional.
God bless! n.

Answer 5

the divorcing part of your story, doesn't mean your parents hate you, your mom probably wants to find the right man to be tthere for you. She probably felt embarrassed, and then got back with your dad, when the other man didn't work out so well. Sounds like your mother just cares about you. And is afraid to let you go. Talk to her, your a man, I'm sure you can do it.
Tell her that your tired of being treated like a door-mat, tell her you need some space, she can't be holding onto you forever, she has to learn to let go. Trust me, it's going to be hard for her to hear that, but maybe she needs to hear it.
The best of luck to you, and remember your 17, you do n't have to always listen to your parents, have fun in life, afterall your not in prison, so you shouldn't be treated like that.

Answer 6

Parents can never hate their kids no mater what happens and what they do. One of the strongest loves in this world is a the love of parents for their children. It might seem tough at times but ultimately your parents aim is to give you what they think is best for you, even if you think that might not be what you want. The sad thing is you might not realize it until you have kids of your own one day. Good luck

Answer 7

Chances are, they don't hate you. They just want you to have a stable life (unlike theirs). About the girlfriend issue, your mom probably doesn't want you to end up divorced like she did. Your mother may believe that your friends are going to turn you into something other than her perfect image of you. It's most likely nothing personal; they're just on edge about their own situation.
I hope you find the money for college, and I wish you luck in your chosen profession.

Answer 8

They don't hate you. You are their child and children are not supposed to have a life. Don't worry about paying for college. Get student loans, go to school, get a great career in nursing, live your life to the fullest. They will always be your parents. One day you will come to realize why they do what they do - they love you!

Answer 9

you will go to college and find a great girl. Until then you have to suck it up. Yes they are wacked. Turning 18 doesn't mean anything. You still live in their house. Maybe you should go to a public school for college, it is cheaper and then you can transfer after your second year to the school of your choice.

Answer 10

It's not a question if they hate you, but if they have your best interest at heart. From what you say it doesn't sound like they do. I'd say cut the ties when you turn 18 or as soon as possible.