he's at college and this girl has 'chased' him for over six months, so eventually although she isn't really his type, he went out with her - anyway, they've been dating on and off for 9 weeks now, and she took him home to meet her mom and sister, and her sister screamed and fainted when she saw him, (and the mother cried too) apparently, my mate looks the dead spit of their dead brother............so obviously this girl is going out with him for the wrong reasons, how does it finish it with her tactfully - apparently the bloke died at the beginning of last year, so it's still raw for them?
2007-01-18 07:00:03 · 19 answers · asked by merciasounds 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tact is a toughie here. Some times you have to be cruel to be kind. I would suggeest he needs to sit down with her and ask her if that is the reason she is attracted to him, and if it is then help her to seek some proper bereavement counselling. It might be tough, but by helping her to get the help it sounds like she needs, and being a friend rather than a lover, he might end up with a really good friend and help her come to terms with the loss of her brother.
2007-01-18 07:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Buckaroo Banzai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is too wild to be a made up story. First, has the girl ever told him he looked like the dead brother? If so, then what's the problem? So he looks like him. If she didn't tell him, and it's that apparently obvious that he does, then yes she could have some identity issues and problems with letting go. She could very easily be a nut case and breaking it off with her could really set her off. But after 9 weeks, I mean, you would think he'd have known something was up. I don't know, that's a tough one.
2007-01-18 15:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go the we are better off as freinds route and leave the brother resemblance out of it. She probably doesnt even realize thats why she is dating him. If he can handle it i woudl tell him to really try and stay freinds with her because it sounds like she could use the support.
2007-01-18 15:05:06 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right number 1 im sure that girl doesnt realise it number 2 he wasnt really interested in the first place, so he should just break up with her saying its not working out. Clearly shes not the one so why bother..
2007-01-18 15:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by mersie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think if he reminded her of her dead brother that she'd be attracted to him. But your right she may be with him just trying to hold on to a peice of her brother. Tell him to let her down very gently saying with her family's feelings and all, he thinks it best they just be friends & keep away from her family. But tell him to try to remain friends a bit longer until she is dealing with her brothers death better. That is so sad im sorry for her & your friend.
2007-01-18 15:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could tell her, "I feel like I am in a soap opera."
But the fact members of her family scream when he goes there is enough reason to break it off.
2007-01-18 15:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by MrPete 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man thats horrible. I feel so bad for you being in that position. Your mates gunna have to tell him nicely that it is all for the wrong reasons and end it before this girl get any more messeed up than she is.
2007-01-18 15:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her honestly that he cannot take the drama, and explain to her just how wierd it seems!
Check out my 360 Page and leave a comment, become a Friend!!
2007-01-18 15:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by drkhrse099 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a real dilema your mate should finish with her as it will only get worse for both of them he has to get out and get out fast and he should tell her the truth why he thinks the relationship should end and it has to end
2007-01-18 15:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but that is sick! He should just be honest and tell her that 'he doesn't feel comfortable with her as he feels as if she is with him only because of his resemblance to her brother', and make sure he is strong about it as she is sure to try and convince him otherwise.
If this is true I feel sorry for your friend, as it all sounds a little psychotic!
2007-01-18 15:06:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lulu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋