why is it so difficult to get a good, loving and FAITHFUL man these days? where have all the good guys gone?

Answer 1

Simple answer: We exist, but we aren't as flashy as the bad boys... so we often get overlooked. If you want to find a nice guy look for the shy guy... normally the quiet guys are nicer guys, as they hope being "nice" makes up for their lack of social ability! haha. Sorry...personal observation from some other guys that I know.

More Complicated answer: Combine the simple with....

1. Today's society is a society that gives instant gratification...and this includes women... giving "it" up. When you "give it up"... you're basically telling men that we dont have to stick around to get what we want... and make no mistake... 90% of men want it as quickly as possible (even us nice guys). The difference between the nice guys and the not so nice guys, is that we will stick around afterwards. The problem is this... that 10% that didn't want it... those are the single guys that are nice (making an assumption)... and were probably turned off by the idea that you were willing to put out on the first date. Ha-ha. So pardon the pun, you just screwed yourself.

2. Men are like other animals (not an excuse... just reality)... we have the natural instinct to spread our seed. If you dont believe me... check EVERY ANIMAL ON EARTH... and then report how many monogomous male species you found. Can you count them on your fingers? Probably. Its just not the most prevalent sexual nature. Dominant males want to procreate more often. Simple nature

3. Men dont like the same things that women like. We like to be taken care of when we are sick... when we're hungry... but otherwise... we dont enjoy being... weak... or less masculine...we're MEN! We want to be men. We want to talk about things that appeal to men! Just like... you want to talk about things that appeal to WOMEN! Often times this means we aren't "nice" if we dont want to watch a chick flick, the theatre, or do some incredibly sappy (you call it romantic) date. We dont need or want this... we dont mind doing some of these things for you... on a scheduled that fits our tastes... but our tastes dont always coordinate with your desires...so then we aren't "good". (This is a huge generalization of course... but then again... you asked an equally rediculous question). What this means is that "good" often means that we have to like things that you like... or act according to the manner in which you find acceptable.

My suggestion... if you want a good guy... be a "good" girl. Each time you ask a potential boyfriend to be interested in something you like...but he more than likely wont... RETURN THE FAVOR. If you showed half as much interest in things that we liked... I almost guarantee that you wouldn't be single.

This may sound really mean... but of all the girls that I know that have expressed interest in sports and a sense of humor (more specifically a guys sense of humor)... I only know a few that are still single.... and they are either ... obese, or incredibly unattractive (i know it sounds mean... but a great personality can't overcome a lack of attraction). Even the average girls had been snapped up.... because they are a hot commodity!


P.S. By showing an interest in sports... i dont mean...going to 1 baseball game a season, or watching football occasionally on the weekends... it means... actually taking an interest in it. Wanting to know whos going to win the Indy / New England game because its a rematch from playoff games in the past... and that Vinateri is no longer with the Pats...OMG... I'd go nuts if a gal mentioned this to me. And to be honest, one has... and I've been pursuing her for a long time. She's a great gal, so I'll do great things... just to get a date!

Whether you want a great guy.... or just a good guy... you have to be equally worthwhile.


I dont try to walk into a dealership to purchase a cadillac with only $3.65 to my name, so I dont suggest you try to either.

Oh... to be more specific. I live in Belltown (Seattle, Washington)... so thats where one good guy has gone.

Answer 2

I can comment on this because I unfortunately was in your wife's shoes. I kissed a woman who was not my wife, lied about it repeatedly, and then became honest about the indiscretions about a year later. I have sent sought treatment for Sex and Love Addiction - it's a real thing and you and your wife might want to look into it. My wife pursued the question you had with our pastor, "Is divorce allowed by the Bible when the spouse only kisses another person." Our pastor, who I trust, said adultery is when the acts are sexual, meaning the person doing them must be stimulated sexually in some way. In other words, it is possible to kiss without sexual feelings towards a person, like a friendly hello or goodbye kiss, but a kiss with a sexual desire would be adultery. Obviously, your wife did not give a hello or goodbye kiss and neither did I. HOWEVER, a love addict can totally kiss without it being sexually motivated because their primary objective is not to have sex. It is to feel loved and they think they feel loved when someone is giving them affection. It's a yearning to meet a deep unmet emotional need they did not get as a child. Although my actions are inexcusable and totally unacceptable, they were not motivated by sexual intention and therefore not adultery. It is infidelity though no matter how you look at it. I wish you the best in your marriage and I hope your wife finds help. If I am right about it stemming from love addiction, please know that her actions were not done because she does not love you or wants to deliberately hurt you. A love addict confuses emotional dependency with love. There are 12 step groups, CSAT therapists who specialize in this field, numerous books, and recovery workshops to attend. It is as serious as a drug or alcohol addiction.

Answer 3

Actually, they are everywhere, but you are likely not interested in them. If you are always getting into relationships with men that cheat, those are the type of men you are atracted to. Why do women get out of one abusive relationship, and enter into one with someone who is also abusive. They are attracted to those types of people.

I am not saying this in a derrogatory way, but it is a proven fact that this happens. What happens is you are attracted to certain characteristics. A certain type of personality, look, attitude. Those characteristics you are attracted to are usually most likely prevelent in men who are not faithful. Meanwhile, the characteristcs a "good guy" presents, do not initially attract you, therefore you do not pursue a relationship with that person. Even if approached by the "good guy", you will likely not be interested in him.

So, if you want to find the good guys, you have to check those characteristics that you look for in a guy, and modify them a little.

Answer 4

I agree they're few and far between, but they are out there wondering why they can't meet a nice woman! My BF and I have had many talks about this-neither of us could understand how we were both still single when we're nice people, decent looking, good jobs, etc...all I know is I am so thankful I never gave up on finding my perfect guy for a moment. We also met via eHarmony. I highly recommend them if you are serious about meeting someone for a longterm relationship.

Answer 5

well u sure do have alot of guts to ask that one, ill even bet that if one came up to you, you would label him as just a friend, and you know you would. in fact all the good guys are probably right there in front of you, but only as friend, nothing wrong with that, just give the one that truly wants u a chance, even if he is a friend, many women ask this question yet most are blind to the fact that the good guy was probably the one who u cried to as u told him about your problems with your jack *** boyfriend, the good guy is probably the one who constantly tried to ask u out but u wouldnt date him because he was not your type the good guy is probably the one you wll call on the phone to ask for a ride to the club where u will ignore him until closing time. see where im going here? the good guys are under your nose, you are just too good to give them a chance for fear of "ruining the friendship" oh i bet "he's really really sweet" but you cant date him because "you dont see him that way" its fine keep him in the friendzone, dont give him a chance, and if u do it long enough one of two things will happen, he will either get fed up with you and your bullshit behavior, or he will stay around until you have been screwed over enough to the point where anyone will do, its really your choice, im not sayin marry the guy im sayin give him a chance and if things dont work out, hey at least you tried. because us good guys are either waitin for a good girl to come around or we are waitin for our "friend" to wake up and smell the coffee. we are right here whether you women choose to see us or not. notice that i said choose, but hang in there, be a real friend and no matter how much u want a jackass dont go for it.
God Bless

Answer 6

Why is that men act like players with certain women and then the next thing you hear they are getting married?!! Men are strange creatures but I suppose they think the same about us!! You are right though its soooo difficult, but I believe he's out there and I'll never give up hope!! x

Answer 7

I agree most of the good loving anf faithful guyus r taken and i have a good faithful and loving guy and i wouldnt give him up for the world he means a lot to me and always will

Answer 8

There are loads and loads and loads, but unfortunately woman are generally always attracted to the other type.

Well it's true isn't it? You go for the guy with 'Muscles' the bloke with the 'Flash' car or the 'Macho' man and then act surprised when you find out that 'Shallow' is also part of the package. You get what you ask for.

Answer 9

well ive got 1 of em, im sure there are more out there but b4 i met my husband i felt the same, jesus there are some weired blokes out there, u have 2 dates with em and they tell u they love u, obsessive wasnt the word.
then u get the ones that u would like to see again but u can never get in touch with and never see again.
then u get the ones like my x husband who treat u like a piece of sh!t and think that they can get away with it... well he didnt lol

but ive never been so happy as i am with my 2nd husband, he treats me like a woman should be treated.
keep ur chin up hun, u will find ur Mr perfect somewhere just when u dont expect it.
it took me 10 years of bein married to the 1st sh!t to find the man of my dreams.

good luck, he is out there some where hun xxxx

Answer 10

They're right under your stupid nose! You choose to ignore them, because they're not as flashy and charismatic as the jerkoffs that you date.

You'd be amazed how many good guys are ~taking classes~ to learn how to not come across like chumps, because that's the life of a good guy.

Sit back, get crapped on by women, never get any respect.

The good guys are dead, and it's partially your own fault.