my boyfriend and I can't come to terms about having sex. When we met we knew we were very different, and almost broke up over it, b/c I'm 23 and a vigin and he's 25 and was very active before me. Now we're both making an effort b/c he's being faithful and I'm trying to please him without penatration, but still fooling around.
yet I know he's a man and he has urges and he brings it up from time to time and i don't know how long he can go without having six it's already been 5months. How can we find a common ground? What can I do, I don't want to lose him...or compromise myself for him either!
2007-01-18 06:51:04 · 18 answers · asked by jasimine m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
whats born on a mistake falls on same one,y have any sex or contact with him if u wanna get married virgin,either do it all the way or no way,and he will dump u eventually becoz he doesnt want marriage he wanst only sex no strings attached
2007-01-18 06:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by reifguy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I guess i don't understand what the problem is, though I'm assuming it's a religious thing. In my personal opinion, you are making a mistake, how do you know you want to marry this man when you dont even know if you two click sexually?? Sex is a very important thing in a marriage, and I've been madly in love with a man before, only to have no chemistry in bed, which of course killed the relationship. Have sex with your boyfriend is my advice, and relax a little!!! You're 23 for goodness sake, not 16!
2007-01-18 06:58:31 · answer #2 · answered by brandi91082 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good opportunity to find out exactly what you are dealing with. If he handles this situation well (by being patient, and respecting your decision to wait) then he is marriage material. You need a husband who will respect your decisions. If you have waited that long, then don't throw that away because of another persons wants or desires. There are men out here who are saving themselves for marriage, although it is hard to believe. If you compromise that for him, then he might expect you to compromise on other things. Also, what if he doesn't marry you after that? You will be highly disappointed after that. Just because he is a man and has sexual urges doesn't mean he will die without it. Marriage takes patience, and if he doesn't have that, then save yourself for your husband.
2007-01-18 07:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by what? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if your boyfriend is trying to keep it under control, you may be able to make it work. But if he pressures you to do anything that you're not comfortable with, drop him. I know this is tough to hear, but think about it this way... if you got married later on, and you'd already compromised yourself by having sex, he would probably always expect to get his way. He might never see things on the same terms as you concerning children, jobs, etc. If he can't agree now to respect your wishes and let you keep your virginity, he'll never agree to anything when you're married - it will just get worse! So stay strong, and good luck.
2007-01-18 06:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...as I man I understand his frustration. I've been there and done that. Now that I'm a little older though, I think what bugs your boyfriend the most is the whole "forbidden fruit" angle. We always want what we can't have.
Intellectually, I want to tell you "if he loves you, he'll wait." That's what I'd tell anyone I know in real life. But honestly, if you do it he could get his fruit and want to leave...so maybe you should screw him to see if his interest in you is more than just sexual. Believe me, there is life after sex...and most times guys just don't want to hang around anymore after they get what they want.
Do what feels like the right thing (to you). And for crying out loud, use a rubber if you do have sex!
2007-01-18 07:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really sounds like a bad situation, but if he truly loves you with all his heart he would respect your choices with this. There are other ways for him to relieve himself. If he loves you he will wait for you. It's as simple as that. Don't change your beliefs for this man no matter what. Your first time should be special and if you really want to wait for marriage then keep waiting. If he cheats or leaves you then you will know he wasn't the man for you. I hope that things will work out for you and him. Nobody wants to lose someone they love very much.
2007-01-18 07:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are fooling around its kinda like sex dont you think? ANyhow... If you dont want to do it then dont do it. Its really hard for a guy to not have sex now. But if you waited this long why throw it away. Your first time needs to be special no matter if you are marry or not.
2007-01-18 06:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
honey, stand your ground. it looks like you'd like to be married before you have sex, which is great! if your man is truly "the one," he will help you out with that plan. i know it'll be hard if you end up losing him over this, but in the long run, you'll be better off having waited for a man who truly loves and respects you.
best of luck!
2007-01-18 06:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by Haiti Cherie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking from experience i would say wait, if he can't respect that and stick with you on it trust me it won't last or be preety in the end. Besides if you will give in on such an important matter i imagine nothing else in the relationship will be put to much thought or compromise in his eyes sweetheart.
2007-01-18 06:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by KC T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isnt about love its about respect. you always have to have in mind that you love him but you love yourself more. Remember VERY IMPORTANT allmost all the men are the same they want to have sex but at the end when they want to get married they want to have a virgin woman PLEASE listen to me DONT do it. If he isnt thinking about you and your decisions he doesnt love you at all he just want you as a trophy. They always do the same, after they have sex with you they leave you and you end up without a boyfriend and with out virginity I wish you Good luck and god bless you
2007-01-18 07:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by cangri girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not compromise? Have the elementary call as a center call, and Brayden because of the fact the 1st call? How approximately Brayden Michael? or Kaylanna Marie? or Machenzie Diane? purely save speaking to him approximately it. you will detect a center floor:)
2016-10-31 11:05:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋