Unfit Mom?

Question

I have a 1 yr old daughter she is rather i guess you could call it curious she gets into trouble alot but i don't think she really knows that she is doing something wrong. when she is doing something bad or wrong i tell her no and she stops if she continues to do it i tell her no louder than if she still does it i smack her hand and tell her no; that usually stops her. We were in wal*mart the other day and she kept throwing stuff out of the cart i had told her no and to stop several times so she did it again and i smacked her hand and she started throwing a tantrum. A women who had 4 kids came up to me and told me that i was abusing my daughter i looked at her and asked her if she had kids and she said "i have 4" i asked her where her kids where and she said they were in the store somewhere. I told her to go find her kids and stop telling me how to raise mine. she went and called social services on me telling them i was an unfit mother. Her kids were dirty and barefoot and i'm unfit?

Answer 1

People are really going nuts over this theory that any kind of mild physical punishment is bad for kids. I predict we're going to see this generation grow up and have notable differences between those who had actual discipline and those who didn't.

"oh, no dear sweetie, you mustn't burn down the house, not that I want to stifle your natural beautiful creativity, but just think a moment, okies? There's a dear sweet child."

"hello, 911?"

Answer 2

I would be curious to know where you live. I live on the prairies in Canada and usually get approving remarks when I discipline my children in public.

Once my son was throwing things out of the cart and he wouldn’t stop wouldn’t stop wouldn’t stop so I bent him over the cart and gave him a smart one on the rump and looked up and there was a woman looking straight at me. “He’s got a diaper on” I explained to which she replied “Well I thought it was called for”. What a relief!

I think that you just got a nosey person who wants to point out what’s unfit about other mothers so that no one will notice what wrong with her mothering.

At 1 yo a smack on the hand is entirely appropriate and I applaud you for disciplining your child, especially in public where you feel like everyone s watching you.

Keep up the good work.

Answer 3

I don't think your a bad mother. I can't believe that someone actually came up to you and said your abusing you child she doesn't know you, and know what your like as a mother. What were you suppose to do let her throw everything out the cart? that's ridiculous, if you would have let your daughter do that she probably would have said you need to control your kid. Whatever you know your not a bad mother and i understand what your going though i have a 4 year old and a 15 month old.

Answer 4

Yeah i have a 3 year old.. ALL kids though test your patience and continue to do things. at 1 they do it to see a reaction. Instead of yelling ro raising your voice, try taking her away of the situation and tell her why its wrong- even though she wont understand - it really helps later on. I learned this from Babycenter.com they tell you alot and what your childs going to do this month and waht to look foward to..
at walmart and stuff my child throws a big fit,I tell her no, It obviosuly doesnt work - so i tell her we are going home cause shes being a bad girl if she stops ill continue.. but if she carries on- we are going home. I know alot of people look down for displining your children in public but someone has to do it. I try not to though. but they need to understand to listen..... its hard but thats the way they work- they dont know the difference.. but if you keep pulling them away from what they are doing wrong, they'll get the hint..
I dont think your unfit.. However dirty and barefoot??? thats unfit!! lol

Answer 5

No. Disciplining you child is not wrong, nor is it abuse (when used properly). I think that parents that do not discipline their children are the ones causing harm to the kids. Kids need a foundation of what is right and what is wrong. If you never discipline your children when they do something wrong, you will raise a brat. I always get compliments of how well-behaved my son is. He is 3. He knows that if he acts up, he is going to get in trouble. He has time outs. Even if we are in public, I will find the nearest corner and make him stand there for a minute. You should seriously call social services about that woman. From what you explained, it sounds like a minor case of neglect.

Answer 6

U sure she called them? If she didn't have your name, the child's name, an address, and a date of birth or unless they detained you in the store then I can't imagine CPS paying you a visit. Perhaps someone else closer to you doesn't think you should hit and turned you in. Once they have looked into this type of situation, you will stay on the radar and this will come up again if they get any further calls and be seen as a pattern of behavior.

Perhaps at age one you should try to redirect the child if needed and stay in a babyproofed area. There are lots of resources on discipline for toddlers. Hitting-even a small smack-should be the last resort.

Answer 7

You are not unfit....it her kids that are going to have problems some day....I have had something similar happen to me....the lady did not actually call social services but she had the nerve to come over and tell me how bad of a father I am, as I sat and watched her kid pull like 6 toys off the shelf and throw them on the ground.....she needs to spend more time worring about her own children and not yours.

Answer 8

and did run her yap to them they have to prove you unfit they just do not come in and take the child did you point out to them that her children was in the store and was not being watched and no shoes i dont spank my kids in public places big deal you smacked your babys hand at least you were aware of where she was people need to mind there own business and this world would be a better place

Answer 9

It's really sad but I never spank my kids in public either because of people like this. However.. Its very hard to get them to listen in public that way. If you can beat through it for about another year then she will understand if you say ... when we get home we are going to talk about this. Or you are going to be in trouble when we get home / in the car. You handled it very nicely though. I think for the most part social services can tell that you are not abusing your children .. but it's still a bit of blow to the confidence~

Answer 10

Cut me a break! Your behavior was very reasonable, as far as I can tell. Hers, on the other hand...and to call social services! If I was them, I would freak out on her--doesn't she understand they are totally overworked, and don't have the time for that sort of crap? So the time the social worker spent coming there could have been spent helping a child who was ACTUALLY being harmed.