i still love my ex how do i get over him?

Question

After leaving a 17 year relationship due to violent and emotional abuse i never thought i would meet and trust another guy let alone fall in love again. but that is what happened i met a guy online and within 3 weeks i met him in real life. we got on great we seemed to have a lot in common, he was everything my ex wasnt. Things went ok for the first 15 months, i helped him out a few times, ie bought him a new computer put credit on his fone etc. then i find out he has been talking to an 18 yr old online, he said they were just friends but as time went on he said he had feelings for her but he still loved me, i mean its not as if he had met this girl. i know what you are thinking i should have walked ans looking back i wish i had. 6 months after he started talking to her he finally told her about me and rather than lose her he made it up to her and he and i drifted apart. that was n early 2 yrs ago now and i still have strong feelings for this guy. i want to move on but feel i cant

Answer 1

Elaine, I know it's difficult to forget about this guy, but it's something that you have to try to do. I'm not going to judge you because you already know what you should have done. Rest assured, hon, that's why pencils have erasures, so we can erase our mistakes. It's called Life. You will get over this in time. I would suggest that you do something special for yourself and get involved with things you are passionate about. Then one day you'll wake up and find you had the freedom to move on. Love yourself, regardless, hon. You're a treasure.

Answer 2

I think the problem is that you haven't let go of all of your dreams about him and you, especially the dreams about him. You need to focus on the real version of him, which was not as great as you thought. Of course, this relationship was much better than the past abusive one - but that doesn't mean that he was something for keeps. Join a club, a course or something like that. Why not a language course? Get some new interests, try to become happier (you can!!) and then there will be a good man for you. Best wishes!

Answer 3

Do something with your life. you don't need a guy to get over another. why think of someone who doesn't think of you!!! Just hang out with friends, go to the gym, movies, bars, take a dance or ceramics class or even a trip. do something and you will find one day you don't miss him. And hell if you need someone to get over him I am sure you will meet someone while you are out and about rather then locked up alone in your house thinking about this clown.

Answer 4

You need to seek a counselor. You are addicted to abusive relationships. That man clearly used you so you would buy him stuff. You do not love this guy, you are "in love" with the idea of him. You want him to be what you have in your head, but he never will be. As soon as you can see and accept that, you will never be okay. Please seek help. Thank you.

Answer 5

i know it may seem hard right now but to be honest u dont need to be in a relationship where all this goes on the best thing i would recomend is to take a vacastion and st ur mind free it will help and try to not htink about the person


good luck

Answer 6

That jerk took advantage of your vulnerability and savings. Make a list of all of the things that you hate about him and read it any time you're starting to miss him. Replace your sad feelings and love with other activities and feelings until you get into the habit of NOT thinking about him.

Answer 7

Trust me you can move on,you just have to put your mind to it.No matter which way it goes you will still love him.He will still be sum1 who at one time had your heart.You can just get over him enough to where u don't think about him as much until one day you won think about him at all.If your lucky you will find sum1 to replace the thoughts of where your ex used to once be.

Answer 8

You have to do something to take your mind off him. Get a second job (if you already have one), go for walks, get a hobby, join a support group, join a sports group, watch lots of movies (not chick flicks), and visit lots of friends. Time WILL heal!

Answer 9

Be very careful when your dating on-line. Things and people are sadly, not what they seem. Leave it alone, you'll find someone without the use of the the internet.

Answer 10

you need closure.i know how it feels i was with my ex for 5 years and i still love him with all of my heart i dont think anything is going to change that but hearing about him wiht another girl and how great hey are together it kinda got to me but not as much as seeing them together. i havent seen them in person but i have seen pictures and u know the saying a picture is worth a tousand words and that is true. that is wat helped me to move on.try it it may work.