let me know do's and donts of datinga a german girl..... she's spritual and loves soft music.... any ideas??
2007-01-18 05:52:30 · 20 answers · asked by joeldavids 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, I’m sooooooooooooooo sorry about all the awful answers you have been getting. Sorry to say this, awfully sorry actually, but I just can’t get over how many narrow-minded people there seem to be around here! What a crying shame! Why does “German” make so many people think nothing but “Nazi”!?!!!! Either that or they focus on some similarly stupid cliché about being Indian!?!!! And why do so many people not understand your question?!?
As I understand it, you live in or come from India, right? And because your cultural background is different than your girlfriend’s cultural background, you are trying to inform yourself about how to treat her right, is that correct?
Hm well, to give you a really good answer I would need to know more about your culture, so that I could see the main differences. I do think I know a tiny little bit, though, so I will try to start from there:
As far as I know, in India, marriages traditionally were arranged, while in Germany traditionally the gentlemen “courted” the ladies, meaning the man did things to make the lady he adored feel special in the hope of winning her heart. The roles of men and women are now less clearly defined, a woman no longer has to wait for a man to go after her, now she can make the first move also and take the initiative. But what has definitely remained is that a woman wants to be made to feel special. Never think you “have” her and so you can “rest”. Instead always always keep making her feel treasured, respected and adored.
There are many ways to do this, and most of all it’s in the little things you do, and in how you treat her in the seemingly insignificant everyday moments.
-Compliments are always a good idea. Tell her from your heart how beautiful she is to you. Notice what she wears and compliment her on it. Most importantly, compliment her on her inner beauty too. Let yourself be amazed at what she does, at her thoughts and ideas, and express those feelings of amazement. Tell her she has the most beautiful heart you have ever known. Important: only say what you really feel, only sincere compliments straight from your heart.
-Listen to her when she talks about her life/ her feelings. Make her feel that what’s on her mind is important to you. Remember what she tells you and the next time you talk, or some time later, ask her about it, about how things are going in that area of her life which has been concerning her. In other words, be interested in the things that are important to her. It shows her that you are interested in her, it makes her feel she is important to you.
-When she is upset, make her feel understood. When she is upset with you, say you are sorry, you didn’t mean to hurt her and try to resolve whatever upset her.
-Take her seriously. When she says she does not want something, respect that (don’t try to do it anyway). React to what she says. Never say you will do something (e.g. call) unless you really will do it; in other words always keep your promises.
-Be thoughtful about what she may like. Have ideas what you could do together that she might like.
-Small, symbolic gifts can also show her how much you care. Something you made or a flower you picked, or a poem you wrote, or anything small that made you think of her…give it to her telling her it made you think of her… If you’re apart, you could press a flower by leaving it between heavy books or whatever for a few days, I mean to make it flat and dry, and then you could put it in an envelope and send it to her. Add a note saying something like “beautiful, but not as beautiful as you”…
-Remember her birthday. On her birthday say to her: “Alles Gute zum Geburtstag. Es ist so schön, dass es Dich gibt.“ („Happy Birthday. I’m so glad you are alive.”) …And if she is Christian, wish her “Frohe Weihnachten” (“Merry Christmas”) on December 24th (which the main celebration is on in Germany).
-If she likes to dance, learn a few dance steps and take her out to dance to soft music…
-Traditionally, respect towards a lady is also shown by helping her into her coat, by holding doors open for her to walk through (including car doors), by giving her flowers, by organizing the details of a date (of going out) and not making her have to worry about them, by paying for her when taking her out to eat or to have a drink, by picking her up from home and especially by accompanying her back home after a date to make sure she gets home safely. These things are not as common now as they used to be, and it depends on the particular girl whether or not she wants this. I do because these things make me feel respected. But I don’t insist on them, and especially I do not expect a man to always pay for me. Of course I take into consideration his financial situation, I only like him to pay for me when he can do so easily and is happy to do so. (Another thing which only peripherally fits here, but which I personally find very important in making me feel respected is putting the toilet seat back down after using the toilet.)
Another thing that comes to my mind is: Never treat her like a possession. She needs to feel free and trusted.
Another thought I have is: The morals regarding sex are probably a lot more liberal in Germany than in India. However, in the absence of clear “rules”, you have to be all the more sensitive to personal needs and personal borders. Having sex without being married does not make a woman unworthy of respect; instead she deserves the same respect as any other lady, the utmost respect.
Sorry if I’m stating obvious things, I just wrote down everything that came to my mind that might be helpful to you… I really hope that this has helped you. All the best for you and your girlfriend!
2007-01-21 02:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by s 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have read the reply given by the Austrian lady. She seems to be a really nice person. However, as an Indian man living in Germany, I have to offer you an answer of a slightly different inclination. One of the other replies mention her constantly pointing you that you need a shower. Ridiculous as it might sound, you will hear too many people complaining about this from first hand experiences in numerous forums. German women make much better neatness inspectors (too bad that cannot be an official designation) than they make girlfriends, which is why German men are not too highly opinionated of German women in general. When I look at my German female friends in their late 20s and early 30s, I remember my grandmother back home, whom I have never seen happy, and all my memories were of her complaining and grumbling over one thing or another. That being aside, unless she is a really well-educated well-bred German woman, chances are, she has a bunch of stereotypical ideas of Indian men too. More often than not, I have seen German women say in bars and pubs that they thought Indian men were really smelly or had bad breath or they only ate curry 4 times a day to stay alive or they just live for Bollywood/Tollywood movies. Since I do not look like a typical Indian, they made some of these comments without realising my ethnic background. Honestly speaking, such stereotypes exist, and I am sick and tired of the same myself, and the real challenge would be to break free of those. Once you do, the rest will be a constant exercise of keeping things as clean as they possibly can be. I am not sure how much 'romance' you will get. If you are wise enough to distinguish between real love and pointless PDA, I hope you will eventually find a suitable partner, German or otherwise.
2014-01-06 03:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by Subhamoy Sengupta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating A German Girl
2016-11-08 08:18:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating German Women
2016-12-14 03:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by marinaccio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 07:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by mitchell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do Indian women find German men attractive? Honestly I hate question that generalize a whole group as one.........
2016-03-14 07:37:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should watch out for you.
Get the book " The Do's And Don'ts of Dating an Indian Guy."
2007-01-18 05:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by mrgogee 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
what does her being german gotta to do with?
Think how she feels not being able to eat beef in front of you or drink!
Just treat her as you should treat any girl with respect and care and kindness
basically how you would want treated
2007-01-18 05:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by angelrose0105 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1
2017-02-14 23:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Indian? As in desi? You're probably not a suave, globalised, successful indian, I'm sure.
You're a backwards desi eating your daal-roti! Go back to Chennai, yaar! Khana benah! Got yourself an ugly german girl, I'm sure. No model for you, desiboy!
2007-01-18 05:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by Yosh 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
whatever you do, don't call her a nazi
lol, I don't think it makes a difference that she's german, she's still a woman, ttreat her the same way, you would anyway else
2007-01-18 05:57:55 · answer #11 · answered by arabontheloose 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋