BF of three yrs broke up w/ me 3 months ago. B/c he needed time alone to straighten out his life. However, he has said that he needs me as a friend right now, and when he can date again he hopes I am there.
We both clearly still have feelings for eachother and have been spending alot of time together lately. We are flirty but have not been intimate. Its clear we are both restraining ourselves around eachother.
However I feel that he holds all the power right now about the future of our relationship.
How do I play hard to get (i.e. specifics that I can do). To balance the power scales and make him decide that he wants me back!
2007-01-18 05:48:51 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im going to give you some great advice. i am in a similar position as you. i read a book recently that changed my perspective on everything. it really has helped me change. so basically, as cliche as it is, you need to work on yourself first. these needy thoughts that you have and i have struggled with the past few months are a result of not being happy with oneself. in addition, the book subscribes to the idea that you need to meet up with him a lot and create a lot of memorable and positive moments. this means not talking about needing him or being a wreck or wanting to be with him all the time. essentially, try to emulate the time that you guys spent together before a full blown relationship. have fun. continue doing what it seems like youre doing, but dont bring up serious talks anymore. im sure its clear he knows you want to be back with him. the book even says that if the other person is involved with someone else, you should maintain this approach. if there was ever a love bond between the two of you, it can be revived. dont bring your jealousy and insecurities for him to see. the last thing you want to do is make him pity you or want you out of guilt. thats not healthy. you want him to want you on his own. as a result, i would highly recommend not giving him any ultimatums or threats. as for working on yourself, you need to really do fun new things. the more interesting things you do, the more interesting you become. i got a new job, found a cooking class, have been going out to new places. my talks with my ex are so much more empowering on my side. the other thing is that ive made it a point to not always answer the phone when she calls. ill call back the next day. if she wants to hang out, im not as available as i once was. i felt like she held a lot of power after repeatedly rebuffing my desires for a second go at it. this approach makes us on a more even footing. ive only been using this approach for a couple of weeks, but its made me happier with myself and the ex situation. good luck. feel free to email me and we can help eachother on this.
2007-01-19 14:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like she has misplaced curiosity in you. If she used to be still , she'd be providing you with long answers and contacting you back. I feel this woman has modified her mind about you. What must you do? Ignore her for a little bit whilst. After a couple of days, text her once more and ask her to meet you at someplace (make it casuel and simple... Whatever like: "hi there, wanna go see the nice film over their? There is a giant-sized popcorn along with your name on it!" it is no pressure and hard to claim no too, so you'll discover for definite.
2016-08-10 12:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being deceitful and manipulative. It is sad. A lot of ladies complain about guys playing games and then they turn around and do the same thing. Remember by not being honest and playing games invites the same back to you. He doesn't hold any power over you that you don't grant him.
Restraining yourselves is good. Shows patience and self control.
2007-01-18 05:55:40 · answer #3 · answered by mrgogee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, there is no playing. He is being honest and upfront with you. He sounds like he is checking out what's out there before deciding on just one. You need to give him time and be his friend. It's that simple. Thank you.
2007-01-18 05:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME RIGHT BACK, AND IT SUCKS! YOU CAN EITHER NOT BE FLIRTY AND KEEP WONDERING WHATS UP, OR TELL HIM ABOUT A SECRET MAN THAT KEEPS ASKING YOU OUT, MR. WONDERFUL CALLS AND YOUR BOTH FULL OF PHONE SEX AND ASK HIM HIS ADVISEABOUT HOW YOU CAN JUST GET THIS GUY IN BED, START IT OFF BY ASKING HIM WHAT HE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU IN BED?
2007-01-18 05:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be hard to find, have a life dont always answer the phone and get back to him if he leaves a sobbing message or something, just act as if he wasn't your breast friend and like some other chick friend that happens to have a co ck
2007-01-18 05:52:59 · answer #6 · answered by J from O 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start dating other men and subtly let him know.
Be available as a friend, but don't clear your whole schedule, "just in case he needs you."
2007-01-18 05:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by lc 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋