Long story short - 1st marriage, divorce - have an 11 yr old son. 2nd marriage, husband died - have 5 yr old daughter. Son's dad lives across the country. How do I get my son from "parenting" my daughter. He tries to tell me how to parent, what discipline to dole out, etc. I am at my wits end trying to tell him to be an 11 yr old and let me parent. HELP!!!
2007-01-18 05:39:24 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He is at the age where he feels that he should be helping you...trust me, he WILL grow out of it and then it will be you parenting both of your children. Be happy he's willing to help out now, because that will change VERY quickly.
2007-01-18 05:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
you need to give him some responsibility of his own. Get him a dog and make him in charge of that. At his age I was making dinner for the family and vacuuming etc. Create a chores chart for both the kids, your daughter can do things like the dusting and gathering the household wastebaskets on garbage day. Thank your son for trying to help you with your daughter and tell him that you need to know if she is in danger but other than that, he needs to focus on his school work and look after his dog and help with some of the chores in the house and you will look after the rest. If you resort to spanking him at this age you will alienate him -- this is not a discipline issue - he just needs to refocus his energy. If he is kept busy then he won't have time to worry about what his sister does.
2007-01-18 05:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by paloma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from. I think your son is trying to step into the role of "man of the house". He's been forced to grow up a little faster than most his age. Just keep reminding him that YOU are the parent, not him. Get him involved in something that you can be a cheerleader to him. Make him feel like a kid again. I'm sorry if this didn't help you much. Take care.
2007-01-18 05:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by lmclear4 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your son is trying to give you input because he is closer to understanding what its like to be a 5 year old than you are.
Listen to what he has to say, let him know you understand his opinion, then give him your reasoning for why you discipline her the way you do (on his level). Hes old enough to understand most of your logic if you explain it to him. Maybe then he will have more trust in you and back off a bit.
He is just trying to love and protect his sister, be glad he cares so much about her and is not a jealous sibling. Let him know what his role is in her life.
2007-01-18 05:54:18 · answer #4 · answered by ☺☻☺☻☺☻ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well when we were little me and my sisters fought a lot up until we became adults. I have two younger brothers that there is an age gap between us and we never fought. My two sisters though do not get along to this day and my brothers stay away from one of my sisters and I'm the only one in the family that everyone loves!
2016-05-24 03:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that feeling!! I have 2 boys, ages 11 and 12, and they are forever trying to parent me. I haven't found a permanent fix for it yet, but what I do is tell them " FINE! If you want to be the parent so badly, then go ahead and do it! Diner is in the kitchen waiting to be made, the house needs cleaning, the bills need paying, the dog needs walking. I'm going to go read!" Making any suggestion that a child might have to do chores without getting anything for it changes their attitude quickly. As I said, it's only a temporary fix. Let me know if you find something more permanent. Best of luck to you!
2007-01-18 05:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by BoomerFamily 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
maybe he needs some sort of therapy. maybe he is trying to be the dad for this 5 year old so that she doesnt feel like he does, with a dad that is so far away he may as well not exist.
see if that helps. he may just be trying to give you hints sub-consiously. he might not even know it himself. but i definitly suggest he see a therapist, see what they have to say. divorce is hard on kids.
2007-01-22 04:22:52 · answer #7 · answered by <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you make a habit of correcting you daughter in front of your son?
Maybe if it appears to him that you have taken his suggestions he thinks it is O.K. to continue offering his opinions. Perhaps you should make it a point NOT to correct your daughter if he is within ear-shot. You could make him leave the room, OR take your daughter aside.
GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-18 06:21:53 · answer #8 · answered by Renee D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is trying to step up and be the man of the house. That can be important for his self esteem. Explain to him that you are the parent and he is the child and although you are grateful that he wants to be involved in helping raise his little sister it is not necessary for him to involve himself. Get him onto a sports team or some other activity. If he is involved in other stuff he won't have time to be a parent.
2007-01-18 05:45:31 · answer #9 · answered by PRS 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Do not listen to your son. Give him a couple warnings to stop, and if he still keeps "parenting", I'd give a spanking to show him whose In charge. If you think he's to old for spankings you could ground him from something.
2007-01-18 05:44:10 · answer #10 · answered by jdzoschke2@sbcglobal.net 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋