Should i ask her to marry me?

Question

Ok we will be together for 6 years on Valentines day. I am a senior in college and she is a sophmore. Age is not a problem. Lately sinsce October we have been getting into these serious arguements. It all started with me saying something very nasty to her then her telling me she wants to break up. Ok we talk about it and fix it. Now almost everytime i fight with her she says she doesn't know if she likes me anymore and doesn't love me *** much. Then the next day we act like nothing happened. We havent fought since January 4th and i think we are good. I dont want to talk about it with her because she gets anoyyed rehashing on old arguements. Now i am taking it day by day and everything has been good.

I always planned on asking her when i was a senior. Will this tottaly change our relationship and make it feel different or will it just be the same. I am 100% sure i want to marry her.

Answer 1

If you have to ask a bunch of total strangers this question, I truly believe that you know the answer already and just want someone to confirm what you already believe. Just my opinion but if you're fighting already, you're just going to fight even more once you get married. The first few years of marriage are very hard on a relationship while you are both learning everything -- and I mean EVERYTHING!! -- about each other and there are a lot of ups and downs throughout the years but you and only you can decide who is right for you -- not your family, not your friends, not strangers on the internet. YOU and YOU alone have to answer this question yourself. FYI: I've been married 28.5 years -- was married when I was 18 years old and everyone -- family, friends, acquaintances, etc. -- said we'd never last 6 months and we showed them, didn't we? YOU have to make this decision based on your feelings and based on what you know about her, love about her, hate about her, like about her, etc. I think you get my drift here or at least I hope you do. Good luck with your decision -- it is not an easy one, nor in my opinion, should it be an easy decision. I believe that marriage is for life but too many people think everything is disposable these days -- disposable diapers, disposable razors, disposable marriages. Divorce is easier than marriage is which is very sad -- again, just my opinion. I really hope that you make the decision that is right for you based on how YOU feel.

Answer 2

Your relationship is not likely to get better. It may seem better for a while, but it will eventually go back to the way it is now.

It sounds like she does not trust you and she holds grudges. You really should have ended this relationship a long time ago, since you cannot live with someone who holds a grudge and truly be happy.

You said it perfectly in that you cannot talk to her about it because she keeps rehashing old arguments. You will not be able to grow together and certainly not get old together. You will always feel separated from her and alone.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 3

This is not the time to ask her to marry you. Getting married won't fix the problems you're having. I think you two should see a counselor to try to resolve your problems now before you get married. Not talking about things because she gets upset and rehashes old arguments mean that you have a communication problem and the old problems haven't been resolved. Being honest with each other without hurting each other is a fine line. Get help. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I don't think asking her to marry you or getting married will improve the relationship. If you are fighting more and she is saying hurtful things, it would be a bad idea to get married until things are improved and you have worked out the important issues. If you are wanting to get married to ensure you will keep her, you may end up sorry if all you do is fight.
Look at what your arguments are about and see if you can figure out if you are both able to compromise on things. Ask each other about things that are important to you: religious values, kids, who works, chore sharing, where to live, with whom to spend holidays, if someone will stay home with the kids, how you spend/save money....
Too much divorce and you are very young to get married. Slow it down and don't feel you have to get married just based on how long you have been together. You were young when you met, so you both may have changed into people who are not as compatible as they were as kids.

Answer 5

You can ask her to marry you but don't think that this will necessarily solve all the problems. Marriage is a long-term commitment and is not something to be entered into to paper over cracks in a relationship. When you get married, those problems will still be there.

Answer 6

If you ask her to marry you, make sure that it is because you feel that you both are meant to be together and she is THE ONE.
I have had friends who made mistakes because they married just to be married, even though they were not sure. They just wanted someone there - but it wasnt really the right person, and things didnt work out in the future.

So...if you know that you both are meant to be together, and you can see spending your entire life with her - then go for it.

Answer 7

I'm no fortune teller, but i feel ur girlfriend isn't ready. If u say she argued with u continuelsy, trust me she's not ready. If u feel a vibe that she loves u, then yes pop the question. Remember to always pray and good luck, hon.

Answer 8

It may cover it up for a while.
But you need to work deep down on whatever it is.
Ask her, what does she want?
Does she love you- does she need space?

Answer 9

stay engaged for bout a year or so and see what happens.

Answer 10

yes she is just tired of waiting for you to ask.