We have been dating for 4 years, engaged for 4 months, living togther with 2 cats for 3. Over the past year, I have lost all romantic interest in him. I thought is was him and tried to get him to change (work out and stuff) but I know now it is just how I feel. I am feeling horribly guilty because he has no where to go - no family in the area and he can't afford the apartment we have now. I am also terrified because I am 25 and don't want to be single again. I don't know if I should just try harder to be "into" him or just end it. I am afraid I will regret it because he is a great person and a great catch. I don't know if I have commitment issues or what. I think that if we hadn't moved in together, the relationship would have ended a long time ago. Hopefully this isn't to much rambling but any advice would be great. Thanks!
2007-01-18 05:23:42 · 9 answers · asked by Go Bears! 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He ceased to cultivate new interests, and (especially) he ceased to be a challenge for you.
I blame Oprah: he's been brainwashed to think he needed to change to bend to you (he's compromised so much in the wrong ways that he's not the guy you used to like).
2007-01-18 05:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you're thinking of ending a relationship like that you have to put his feelings aside. If it were me, I would give it one last shot, and make it known how you feel. Hopefully he can do something to re-spark your interest in him, but it may be too late. Give yourself a set date (a month, a week, till the end of the lease, whatever) and stick to it. If by that time you haven't rekindled your feelings for him, move on. The more you postpone letting him know how you feel, is directly related to how bad it will hurt when you cut if off, for both of you.
I can understand a fear of being single again after all that time, but it's really not that bad. At first it can be lonely, but that's why we have friends, to keep us company and keep our minds busy so we don't think about unpleasent things like that. Go out, meet new guys, date a little, maybe have a "friend with benefits." Don't stay with someone that you're not happy with because you don't think you can find anyone else, this is one area in life where you can't just "settle" for what you have, it will only result in heartache for both parties involved.
It will most likely hurt him, be prepared, but you must consider your own feelings first, because apparently he is not considering your emotions.
Remember you, just like everyone else, deserve happiness.
As far as the cats go, get rid of them both cats are evil.... (Just kidding I just don't like cats)
Good luck!!!
2007-01-18 05:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Therious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things arent working out, then pressing it wont help any. Instead, the best thing for the both of you, is to be honest to each other.
Talk and communicate about your feelings and the lack of passion. Don't just drag it on if it's not working out - not all people are compatible with each other. You'll just end up wasting more years of your life, when you could be discovering new people and new things.
If there is any chance of reviving the passion and love in the relationship, your open talks should reveal it to you. Otherwise, just be honest and move on.
2007-01-19 00:11:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sydney Bristow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a break from the relationship. What you are experiencing is lustless love after you live with another person for a while. You are way too young to be experiencing this. Go see what the world has to offer. You shouldn't have to stay with a person if that person doesn't tickle your pickle anymore. Else, you'll end up like my parents hating every moment that they're together.
2007-01-18 05:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel it anymore, don't force yourself to. Don't be hard on yourself for your changed feelings, people feel this way all the time.
You can't force yourself to love someone if it's not real. Yes, he may not be able to afford it on his own but he could always move in with friend or look for a roommate or something. Don't let things like that make you drag this relationship out.
2007-01-18 05:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww man, thats tough...If you think yuove tried everything to save the relationship ( like a trip to somewhere far together, or a break, or a out of the blue romantic night) then get started for a long road ahead of you....first off, give the guy a month's notice. If he cant afford your place, he needs to start looking for a smaller crappy apartment. Tell him how you feel, and that ending it now is better then after getting married. Believe me thatll be worse. If you feel sorry for the guy, try to break up with him as painless as ou can, even offer to help....Also dont be scared about being 25 and single, im 25 and single and its great
2007-01-18 05:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by cesarsauce 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
End it. There's no point in prolonging the inevitable. You need to break up with him, move out, and get a place of your own with a roommate or something. It's a crappy situation, but if you're not happy, you're not happy and you can't help it. Do the right thing now as opposed to later.
2007-01-18 05:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by Your Maker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you feel. Its going to end sooner or later and your not getting any younger. He is an adult and he should be able to take care of himself. If you have lost the romantic connection its time to let him go. sorry.
2007-01-18 05:28:42 · answer #8 · answered by weso17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well divorce
2007-01-18 05:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋