I know the etiquette of not saying bad things about the other parent in front of the child, and to make nice whenever the child is around but how nice do you have to be to the stepparent when they arent around? She acts like Im her best friend and talks to me about their sex life which i could careless about, and when me and the father have a disagreement its her that butts her nose in and gives her two cents into whatever it is. Shes very annoying in nature and if i wouldve met her elsewhere we would not even be talking to each other. I have gone the extra mile to ensure my child is comfortable around them, and havent griped about them when she is around but some of the things she does just makes me angry, so is there a way that I could tell her Im not interested in being friends she is here because of the father without her getting the father to use it against me?
2007-01-18 04:45:57 · 8 answers · asked by augustgrl80 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you don't have to be her friend but,you should be respectful .i would definitely tell her you do not want to discuss her sex life that is way outta line.i would also explain as calmly as you can to the baby's dad that you would like to discuss some things privately.that you two are the parents and should be handling the situation.if she is a care taker unfortunately you will have to deal w/her at times.good luck
2007-01-18 14:00:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is best if you make the effort to get along. Even if you don't fight, a child can sense when there's conflict.
That said, you should tell the stepmother that you'd like to get along with her but you don't want to know about her sexlife. When you're having an arguement and she butts in, it's very tempting to tell her to butt out. Instead you should pause the arguement and tell her that you know she's a part of the family now, but when you have an arguement with the father, you'd rather not involve a third person.
When she gets annoying tell her that you'd like to change the subject.
As for flat-out not liking her, try telling her that she's simply not you're type when it comes to close friends. That you have no interest in fighting with her or being bitter, but you guys just won't work out as close friends.
2007-01-18 12:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by J. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she starts talking about sex and getting involved with you and your husband, tell her nicely that you really don't want her side of things. You are not interested in how her sex life is going, and that you don't think it's appropriate for her to tell you. Let her think you're a prude. Who cares what she thinks? You've done a great job of keeping everyone comfortable, and kudos to you for that. I bet your husband appreciates this but feels the same as you. Talk to him. Maybe he can help get you out of some of these situations. Good Luck!
2007-01-18 12:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i am in the same situation...except i'm the step mom...i cant stand my husbands ex...but i am just polite and sometimes even nicer cause i know it upsets her...did u ever think of that??? just dish it back...be nice and if she brings up there sex life make a comment like" oh ya i remeber that, he hasnt changed huh...we had the same problem!" I bet that'll blow her mind and laugh about it when u say it....dont worry about it, be a better person!!!
2007-01-18 12:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by truthgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say be polite. i too was the step-mom, she was nice to my face and then talked about me behind my back, spread rumors and tried to make my life hell. thats being pretty two-faced don't you think. going by what you said i would think that you would be going out of your way to avoid situations in which you and she would have time to "talk".
while i applaud your efforts to keep things civilised (it really is best for the child) it could be that you have sent the wrong idea to the woman that you are willing to play nice and be her friend.
2007-01-18 13:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not obliged to be her friend! Just be civil to her and try to communicate with her only if it concerns your child.
2007-01-18 12:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be polite. Not necessarily nice.
2007-01-18 12:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by Cracker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been married to my hubby for a year and i have never spoken to his ex and i go with him to pick up his kid everytime i don't have to be nice to her and will never
2007-01-18 13:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋