We have also accepted her other 2 children whom she's had since.Our son could not afford to help so we did.Now she has moved in with the father of her last child & is trying to push us out of the picture.What rights do we have as these are our grandchildren.The one has a rare disease & we took him to every appointment he had in the city at no cost to her.We learned how to administer his meds so he could sleep over.Now after 10yrs.she is trying to push us out due to moving in with the new guy.What can we do?She has the kids calling the dads of the last two, Dad,and our son,the father of her oldest,his buddy,not his Dad &wants us to do the same as she says it's not our right to call our son,dad to our grandson.Is this right?
2007-01-18 04:37:52 · 9 answers · asked by grandma H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
no its not right,call a attorney usually 1st consultation is free,ask what the laws are in your state he will tell you ask what you can do,i would file court papers w/family court for visitation in cases like yours you are granted visitation time also your son should file separate for his visitation this way they all stay w/you so that you can be a part of their lives which is very important especially w/your circumstances,usually people put [ friends ] before children are irresponsible anyways this way you will know if there is anything wrong.the judge can also order her not to allow her children to call her boyfriends dad this is not acceptable it could cause alot of stress on the kids.good luck
2007-01-18 13:39:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough situation, one I'm a little familar with as far as grandparents rights there aren't that many you could check with a lawyer to find out exactly what they are in your state. I too was seperated from my grandchildren when their mother decided to leave my son it was a very difficult time in my life and one I hope not to repeat. After being their caregiver for 50 plus hours a week while both parents worked and taking my granddaughter to all her therapy appointments, doctor appointments, etc I was suddenly cut out of their life. I had anxiety attacks being concerned for their safety, I went through a depression due to the sudden disappearance of them from my life, I missed them terribly. It took communication to resolve the issue, it was very difficult at first but became easier and easier once we moved past all the misconceptions and anger we were able to come to a solution. My suggestion would be to let her know that you still want to be a part of her life that it doesn't matter to you who she is with your interest lie with a relationship with your grandchildren. As far as the issue with calling your son, Dad to your grandson, if he is old enough to know his Dad is his Dad don't fret over it, it is minor in the scope of things, especially if your main concern is a relationship with your grandson. If he does know it is his dad the more she forces the situation the more your grandson will realize what she is doing it is best to let him form his own opinions about the character of his mother. Children are very observant! Good luck and relax things change nothing is constant in life! My grandchildren now spend almost every weekend at my house and visit me at work a couple of times a week. As a side note the communication between us also cleared up the issue between my son and Kim and now they have been together for the last 3 years without another incident! Things change.
2007-01-18 05:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by prettybird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough situation. What's important here is your relationship with your grandkids (it sounds like). Your grandkids are your grandkids, no matter what their mom says. And they know that--your oldest grandson knows that you took him to the dr. and gave him his meds. Kids notice things like that, and they remember them. Right now, the kids are going through a lot of chaos and change in their lives. Kids, in general, really don't like change. So it would be best if you could be a constant in their lives. Don't talk bad about their mom or her new guy in front of the kids, because that will hurt them (no matter what she does, she's still their mom). Sounds like the one kid is 10 years old? That's pretty old--old enough to know what he wants. Why not ask him what he wants you to call his dad? I might avoid calling his dad "dad" in front of the mom (even if he wants to), as that would cause conflict (and kids don't need more conflict), but you could call him that while you're with your grandson. I think he'd feel special, knowing that you value his opinion and recognize that your son is his dad, no matter what crazy changes go on. Above all, tell you grandkids you love them and will always be their grandparents, no matter what. Even if the mom doesn't let you see the kids a lot, they'll know that you love them if you tell them so.
My grandparents lived several states away, but my grandma would write me letters when I was growing up on pretty stationery--that was really special to me, because I didn't get a lot of love at home. Even though my mom talked bad about them (my dad's parents), I loved them (and still love them--I'm 20 now). My grandparents never talked bad about my mom, and that meant something big to me.
So don't worry: what you say/do trumps whatever the mom says and does. Before too long, the kids will be older and be able to drive over to your house themselves! Just stick in there for them--having people like that in a kid's life makes all the difference in the world. They may not be old enough yet to thank you, but please take a thank-you from me on their behalf, and blessings.
2007-01-18 04:59:43 · answer #3 · answered by kacey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's crazy!! Yes you call your Son Father to his child!!! And yes as Grandparents you have rights! You'll have to hire an attorney to have the courts grant your Grandparents rights! You should at least go talk to an attorney, the first visit is free and you can get more information. You may not have any right when it comes to her other children, but you do have rights to your Son's child. Best of luck
2007-01-18 04:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not right. But the only one that can do anything about it is your son. As the father of your grandson, he should pay his child support in a timely manner and sue her for either custody of his son, or at the least, visitation. Then she would have no choice but to allow the child to know that his father is not his buddy but his daddy.
2007-01-18 04:46:11 · answer #5 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First is your son on the delivery certificates itemizing him by way of fact the daddy if so then have him pass to the interior of sight social amenities with the youngster clarify to them what is going on and that she abandoned the boy and that they're going to set up an emergency listening to to ensure non everlasting custody till she would be got here upon. even with the undeniable fact that whilst he does this he desires to be working and ensure he can help the youngster. If he isn't on the delivery certificates then he desires to immediatly pass to an legal expert and document for a paternity attempt and gt it on checklist. so a techniques as college is going he will merely could take the delivery certificates, shot checklist, and social secure practices card and sign up him they don't ask for custody agreements. sturdy success and permit me comprehend the way it seems.
2016-12-16 07:36:01 · answer #6 · answered by zell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with a lawyer about your rights a as grandparent.
2007-01-18 04:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shame on her and her current boyfriend.
You have grandparent rights and should get a lawyer.
2007-01-18 05:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by fab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'ts really hard to prove but a lawer is a best call, unless your stateing she is unfit in that case a lawer is still the way to go.
2007-01-18 04:44:08 · answer #9 · answered by Eda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋