I'm a black divorced mother of two boys. Should I limit my dating to black men?

Question

I know this question my ruffle a few feathers, but how would it make my sons feel to see me dating a white man (which I have never done but am considering at the present moment)? Am I wrong for even thinking this to be an issue? I just don't want my boys growning up to feel inferior- or that black men aren't good enough... But at the same time, I don't want to limit myself in terms of race when meeting men.

Answer 1

I wouldn't limit myself because you never know what person God has planned for you. They could be black, white, fat or skinny. Sometimes you have to step out on faith and go outside your comfort zone.

As for your boys. You should teach them that they can't be compared to any person. We are all different and comparisons always leave something to be desired. For example, If I compare myself to other people I will always find something that they have over me. I need to know in myself that I am a great person and I am worth any and everything. That is something that you should teach them. Just because you date a white man does not mean they are inferior as black men. They cannot be compared to a white man or any other man for that matter.

Also, teaching them that people are people helps with this whole problem. They should know that white or black we are all people and that we need to start taking race out of our conversations.

God Bless

Answer 2

I'm a white divorced mother of two boys. I mostly date black men. I raised my sons to not look at the color of a persons skin and they have been fine with the guys I have dated. I think these days color should not be an issue. It's hard enough to find a nice guy to date, don't restrict yourself further by letting race matter. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

I think you are worried about the wrong thing: Your concern should be finding a man who will love your boys unconditionally and show them what it means to be a man by being a strong father figure, regardless of the color of his skin.

Please don't wait around for a black man do this...you might be waiting forever.

If you sons see you dating a white man, so what? Just make sure they see you in a happy loving relationship. That would mean alot more than the color of your partners skin.

Answer 4

You shouldn't limit yourself.
Love comes in all colors.
Dating other races will show them equality.
Just to date black men could be considered racist.

I know where you are coming from, you don't want them to get the wrong idea.
Just makes sure that you keep a positive black role model around and they will grow up just fine.

Answer 5

I dont think the race matters. I think you might even teach your kids that is ok to fall in love with some one out of your ethnic race. Now we do not want to discrimate against black males. Personally I think they are hot! You just couldn't work things out with your ex that does not make him a bad person. But your divorced for a reason. The marriage did not work now give your self the oportunity to date other people regardless of their skin color. If you like a white man you should try it. As long as he is nice caring compassionate and respects you and your boys I think you should not worry about his skin color. Live life to the fullest with moral and integrity. Be happy dont worry about everyone else.

Answer 6

Then teach your kids the right thing, color doesn't matter, character is what makes a person.
They may be uncomfortable at first, not their fault because society tells them on a daily basis that white and black can't get along, but a good man is a good man and your children will see this with time.

Answer 7

I really dont think that should be an issue. There is nothing wrong with inter ratial dating! I'm sure your kids will be fine with it. They'll just want you to be happy. Maybe you could be brutally honest and ask them what they think. It may seem daunting but it might put your mind at rest. I'm sure they know that black men arent inferior, just because your dating a white guy. I say go for it!

Answer 8

some those who date interracially are stupid like that. My brother's an same way. He can date each of the white women he needs yet he thinks black females might want to keep on with black adult men.

Answer 9

I think dating outside of your race is a good way to show your boys that all races are equal and that you judge a person on their character and not their color of skin. As long as you are proud of who you are they should not feel that a black man is inferior when you date other races.

Answer 10

Hmmmmm. Toughie. You can show them how to be non-race-conscious by dating worthy men of any "race," but that raises the issue of role models. If you date/marry a non-black man, do you have black role models? If you can fill that void, I don't see a problem with it. But I'm white, still married to my first husband, who is also white, so perhaps I'm overlooking something. . .