How do I cope with this type of relative?

Question

There is a relative of mine who I'm related to by marriage. There are things about her I just don't like. There have been many times when she's said rude things to others but when someone bluntly says something to her, all hell breaks loose. She always puts other downs but praises herself and thinks shes better than everyone. I've noticed her to be somewhat two-faced as well. She comes from a rich family so I think that gives her a sense of pride. How do I deal with someone like that?

Answer 1

Sounds like a few I have, and honestly... it can be tough to deal with!! I assume that she is on your husbands side? I have a problematic mother in law that behaves like this and I do my best not to say anything to her (because if I do, you know we'll all hear about what a b*tch I am). I insist my husband says something to her about her behavior if she insults me, or someone else close to us, I do not often defend myself unless its just the two of us (its hell) and I have no choice. If he doesnt defend me, that says something... and he's in for it!
I would ignore her as much as possible, but be polite of course, if she is directly rude to you tell her you are not appreciative of her words as they were inappropriate and rude, and leave wherever you are, even if its just going in another room.
If she has the audacity to do this in your home, I ask her to leave immediately if she chose to speak that way. Ensure your husband gives his full support.

Good luck. It would be so much easier if they just went away....

PS maybe you should tell her its obvious money doesnt buy class :) (okay, there's that b*tch thing I was talking about.. lol)

Answer 2

My entire sister-in-law's family is this way. The mom married into money and thinks she's God's gift to Earth! I just avoided that side of the family as much as possible. If there's a family gathering involving them and it's not something important (i.e. Christmas), I make an excuse about work, school, or that I don't feel good. If in the event I have to be around them and they start to be rude or gloat, I pretty much ignore it and change the subject, obviously but courteously letting them know that no one cares! I think confronting the issue is a huge no-no. It just causes friction and tension within the whole family and can cause problems between you and your spouse. That's what sucks about blended families. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

This is a case of a mom short of her baby again, anything that she had each and every authorized and ethical correct to do. That mentioned, I too can have an understanding of your emotions. You are grieving and you've got each and every correct to consider nonetheless you consider. Returning the baby used to be the correct factor to do, even supposing it used to be an excessively complex factor to do. As a ways because the household dynamics, I'm now not certain what to propose given that I do not know your household. I'm additionally now not certain what she's performed to denote that she has a chip on her shoulder in the direction of you. In a household predicament, because she approached you approximately adoption within the first situation, I feel that it might be impolite for her to simply reduce off all touch to you, however I'm now not certain that telling her that she owes you a proof used to be efficient both. Bottom line, you can not wager as to what she is considering or feeling, so do not tie your self into knots looking to determine it out. Maybe your sister can support facilitate a few touch, however I would not push too difficult, too quickly. You additionally ought to permit your self grieve this loss and take a look at to restrict speeding to judgment on how are compatible or undeserving a dad or mum your niece probably.

Answer 4

Depends on how far you want to go; it would be easier with descriptions of how she is rude, or what you mean by "all hell breaks loose" (is the family upset, or does she just fly off the handle?). My favorite was when my brother was told something rude, and he was in public.....couldn't really be a jerk....he just kinda said, deadpan, "Wow......not used to adults being rude to me like that....kids, yeah, but grownups are supposed to know better.......I don't even know how to respond politely......" Once, when a good friend of mine was being particularly insensitive, turned to someone else at the table and said, "Does she realize that makes people feel bad, when she does that? Or is she just going to blow me off if I tell her that and disregard my feelings again?" It doesn't matter if she's rich; there are expensive finishing schools where she can afford manners.

Answer 5

Well people like that are hard to cope with indeed, but u cant change who they are. But what u can do is just try to stay away from her and her rude comments. When or if she should say something rude to u just do as if u didn't hear it. She probly cant help they way she is, and that is most likely a protection face she is puttin on. I am pretty sure that she has some problems deep dont inside somewhere.

Answer 6

You keep your head held high. If she is that much of a snob then others in the family know this about her and take everything she says with a grain of salt already. So just keep your head up, always look her in the eye and only exchange simple pleasantries with her. Never tell her a secret and when she starts her brag-a-about routine, just keep repeating, *That's nice, I'm happy for you*....if she is pushing her opinions onto you about others or something of yours, etc..*I'm sorry you feel that way* and keep smiling. Once she sees she can't get under your skin she will let up...and if she doesn't...oh well. You'll get used to brushing her off and it will get easier.

Answer 7

I have an Auntie who is a two-faced-B I T C H as well. In fact, I am bitter about my mom's entire side of the family. They are all two-faced-bitches & act exactly how you describe on here plus worse. You can only forgive so much since it's family right? but you know when enough is enough. You don't have to talk to her anymore, it's not really mandatory. You should just stay away from her or just ignore her. Relatives suck, all they do is cause drama for other people & themselves. It's pointless & has no affect on your future, so why stress over it? I use to stress over my relatives, but now i have decided to just move on with my life, i don't really need them, they have no affect on me or even support my future, so i told myself that why should i let them stress me? it's not worth it. One day, i just decided to stick with my IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS & cut out unnecessary drama causing relatives & now my life is so much better. Relatives are family but it's true that you can't trust them all. You should just keep in touch with the true ones & cut out the drama ones from your life. You will be much happier that way & stick to you immediate family members, they are the only ones that will only be there for you. Not relatives. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

Since she is only related by marriage, you should be able to limit your dealings with her. I know you have to deal with her on some level, but I just wouldn't associate with her except on a very basic level, and do my best to overlook her rudeness at those times. If she insists on imposing herself in your life, you may have to just have it out with her once and for all and tell her exactly what you think of her and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck.

Answer 9

When she puts someone down, compliment and support the person she insults. When someone insults her, compliment and support her. Alwasy feed positive energy when ever she's around. This isn't easy I know, but the best way is to make a game of it. See how irritated you can make her by being positive no matter how negative she gets.

Have fun!

Answer 10

i have a sis-in-law just like this, only not rich. i ignore her. i hardly talk to her and seldomly visit my bro and his family. it sucks sometimes, but i have way less issues with her. i got tired of watching every word i'd say just so i wouldn't offend her. either ignore her, or REALLY let her have it... with other family around to back you up. she needs to be put in her place and called out on her 'you can dish it out but can't take it' personality. if a lot of people at the same time do this MAYBE she'll wise up a bit.