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this was the second one I wrote.. i'll post 2 or 3 more then i'll leave you guys alone for a bit :P

Loves Alibi

I know now what I always knew
I see now that my wisdom’s true
I tried to fight it, but I lied
And hid beneath my alibi
Time has found me, or is it gone
Even time needs a place to belong
And now I sigh, and praise a name
Knowing I have but myself to blame
Perhaps one day my strength will be true
Until then, I’ll say adieu
And forget the world I once would say
I don’t belong there anyway
Time has come, my life is here
As I wish for love to draw me near
One golden day, will I find
Yet another of my kind
Or will I wait for another dream
And live my life to a modest theme
For wisdom’s come and truth has went
And patience has been all but spent
In time I hope to no longer lie
And hide beneath loves alibi

2007-01-18 04:01:09 · 3 answers · asked by pip 7 in Arts & Humanities Performing Arts

eh, the "Perhaps one day" line is a little long I think.. maybe I'll rework it a little.

2007-01-18 04:09:29 · update #1

3 answers

this mite sound kinda harsh, but ONE personification. no assonance, conssance, symbolism, metaphors, similes, nothing interesting! meter and rhyme was ok. keep practicing

2007-01-18 12:18:27 · answer #1 · answered by trrew w 2 · 0 0

i wager the way i'm able which could also help you is likely with the call of your poem! that is more effective my fortay, in the present day, I used to position in writing loose type, yet now am attempting to income different approaches of writing! Your poem sounds impressive to me in basic terms how that is, yet i'm no longer an expert on it, so will go away that to those who're! plausible titles on your poem Voice Of Silence intensity's Silence Ocean's Voice Silent Door Ocean's floor The quick Silence Bittersweet Silence Ocean's floor Void of Voice intensity's Silence Silence's Cry Ocean's Tears Silent Soul Ocean's Grave

2016-10-15 09:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Ya that line and the - Even time needs a place to belong - line. Maybe something like - Never dwelling here too long.

2007-01-18 04:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mister Farlay 2 · 1 0

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