I am a big tall guy & this much shorter guy when in front of others, speaks abusive to me. WHY?

Question

He can be downright abusive and accusatory of things that are not true. His sarcasim & attitude is weird. Its like he enjoys doing this to people when he has a chance. His expectations of me is high as the sky. He wants to control everything and everyone, especially me to even how they & myself should think or view something the way he views it. He campaigns or manipulates others to have the same view. If you don't have the same view or conform, he has his sights on you and looks for opportunities to throw in his punches here and there against you. I can honestly say I have not returned the same behavior he has. I don't treat others like that. Some though do listen to his babble. Has this happened to anyone else and is there a reason behind his negative treatment of me when I have done nothing or said anything inapropriate to him?

Answer 1

he does this because you let him.

Answer 2

I had this problem when i was in high-school. It's always the little short, skinny dudes that bad mouth people, especially larger guys.
I think most of these short sawed off types have to run off at the mouth about large guys simply because they want all the attention. You could beat him into the ground, but what good would that do, he'd only bring some of his friends to help him next time.

People like this are weak minded individuals. More than likely mommy's boys. Who are very insecure, and maybe even bedwetters.
10 years after graduation,
The one short little big mouth dude that harrassed me daily for years. Ended up trying to kill his wife, he shot her and then shot himself in the head. Kinda like a murder suicide thing. His wife survived and he died. Now that's what karma will do to these type of people.

Just ignore the guy, you know what he is and other's do also.

Answer 3

It appears that he treats others poorly as well. Thus, his reputation for slander precedes him. I would guess that his size contributes to his lack of self-esteem.

Here is one strategy: politeness and courtesy will allow you to take the high road in a visible way. This person is quite pitiful actually.
You cannot appear to flee from him and ignoring him is not effective. When he has you in front of an audience, an appeal to rationality could disarm him. But, you must remain completely unfazed by his irrational chattering. Treat him with pity, as though the guys from the sanitarium dressed in white should be summoned to haul him away in a straitjacket.

Try one of these -

"If you have constructive criticism to offer, I would be glad to hear it. Otherwise, this monologue is a waste of your valuable time"

"My conscience is clear and I am forgiven. There is nothing that you can say to take that assurance from me."

"Why are you trying to remove the speck from my eye with the beam still lodged in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

Answer 4

He's got what is called a Napolean complex. Call him shorty and watch him short circuit. Basically because he's short he's insecure and his way for compensating for his insecurity is by puffing his chest out and finding the biggest guy and challenging them. He's taking it out on you because you represent something he can never be.... TALL.

And instead of just being comfortable with who he is he thinks he's got to try and be the alpha dog.

You tell him you can't hear him cuz he's too short and he should try climbing up on a nickle if he wants you to hear him. Then walk off. You can neutralize him by hitting that sore spot. You hit him with a few funny zingers in public he'll cool off. Because he won't like the fact that people are laughing at him. His power is in bullying.

Or you can pull him off to the side and tell him straight his face and make it painfully clear that his act is getting old and if he keeps it up there will be consequences and the mere fact you are doing it where no one else is around so it's not like you are trying to punk him in front of someone should send a clear message you are serious and not ******* around. You are taking the time to pull him off to the side discretely so he gets the message. After that if he gets stupid next time. Zap him and if he puts his hands on you DROP HIM.

The Napoalean complex is defined as inferiority complex suffered by people who are short. The term is also used more generally to describe people who are driven by a perceived handicap to overcompensate in other aspects of their lives,

Answer 5

This is a person who is trying to atrract attention on him. His ego needs to be feed with flattering and support from other people's attention.

He probably lakes attention at home, and was probably a child that had no attention, or demand attention that was unanswered, from his parents...

In other words, this person has a low self-estime, and is using the only power he has, and feels so powerful that he will continue to do so.

Understanding this behavior from a logical point of view is not advised, since it doesn't obey the common behavior paterns that most people,like you and me, and every other person writting here does. Why? he probably suffers from some type of personality desorder.
I would take a guess, bescause I would need more criteria, that he's probably has a obsesive compulse & narcissistic personality desorder and, if so, shows some of the following aspects:

Obsessive:

-Preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, bodily functions, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost
-Showing perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)
-Excessive devotion to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships
-Being overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values.
-Reluctance to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things
-Showing rigidity and stubbornness
-Urge to perfect every little thing

Narcissistic:

-Has a grandiose sense of self-importance
is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
-Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people
-Requires excessive admiration
strong sense of entitlement
-Takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
-Lacks empathy
-Is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her
arrogant affect.

Not to mention intolerance towards crticism in both cases. Maybe he's both..... You tell us...

This is a dagerous person to have around you when working together... He will step over anyone or anythig in order to achieve his goals.... Kepp copy of all your jobs, tasks, files and communicate through email or any other means o communication that enables you to keep a copy and document it in an archive. Why? Just in case he tries to step on you, then you have prove of your suggestions, achievements, etc.

Be careful, continue to not answer back in he's type of behavior. He will eventually get fired or move du to the cosnequences of his attitud. I wish you all the best...

Answer 6

Some people feel the need to degrade others in order to make themselves feel important and powerful.
Anyone who listens to him most likely also needs the same type of affirmations; they like to see other people's discomfort. It makes them feel better when other people get treated miserably.
Good for you for not reacting the same way as he acts. As hard as it may be, just try to ignore him and don't stoop to his level. I am assuming that he is not the rational type who you can sit and have a chat with, telling him your concerns?
I hope he is not your supervisor. If he is, I would consider looking for another job.
Good luck. :)

Answer 7

He is insecure with himself so making fun of someone else and pointing out their problems, true or not, makes him feel better about himself. Sounds like hes got a case of "the little man syndrome". His height is probably not the only thing that is below average about him.

Answer 8

I'm tall too and I know someone just like that at my school. When he says something to you then say something back, If he pushes you then you push him to the ground. But if you do go and do this just don't be too nasty with the comments and don't swear at him and if you push him on the ground don't start beating him, and wait for him to get up. If he punches you then you fight back but don't go too far. Hope you get the treatment you deserve!!

Answer 9

Don't put up with the little man syndrome. In some way he is trying to balance out his short comings. He is small so he is trying to replace it with a big attitude. I would just move on and get better friends and ignore him or call him out on it and tell him to cut it out before you have to pummel his butt.

Answer 10

u should stand up 4 yourself and not let him talk about u or sometimes the best thing 2 do in some situations is to ignore the persons. he wants attention don't give it to him don't spend time thinking about him u have a life and he doesn't.

Answer 11

The problem is he is so insecure he has to make up for it by being a d*ck to other people to make himself feel more superior. You are the better person for not stooping down to his level, but I would have told him to f*ck his mother a long time ago.