How do I make him choose?

Question

My ex broke up w/ me 2 and a half months ago. Stated he still loved and cared for me but needed to be alone to figure out his life.

We now spend alot of time together (i.e. cooking dinner, going to the movies), and have both said that we still have feelings for eachother. However, physically nothing has happened other than hugs and kisses on the head.

It has become too hard to just be his friend w/out it progressing into something more. Its hard to be friends when feelings are still involved.

How do I make him realize that he needs to take it to the next level or I will be gone, w/out being so direct about it?

pls suggest more subtle kind of tactics or ideas. Thanks

Answer 1

There really isn't an easy way around this, hon. Being direct is usually the best road in any situation. Just put yourself in his shoes. If this was the other way around, wouldn't you want a direct answer, instead of a walk around the mulberry bush? Sometimes in life, we have to be direct to get our points across. It doesn't always hurt to be blunt, and also it doesn't hurt to be honest. Try it and see..he might respect you more for being truthful, than trying to skim the issue.

Answer 2

Suggest spending less time together i.e movies cooking dinner as these can be very intimate happenings. Explain it's hard for you as your feelings are getting stronger again and that the little kisses and hugs are hard for you to deal with. Honesty is always best, to yourself and to him, he might not realise your turmoil.
You never know if you pull back a bit he might just make his mind up what he wants. If not then you have to start getting over him and getting on with your life. you deserve that and so does he.

Answer 3

It is almost impossible to be friends with somebody you have feelings for, it will drive you bonkers lol..

But all you could really do is tell him. Say listen, I know you said you needed your space, but us spending time like this together is really hard for me. I still have feelings for you and would like this relationship to progress into something more, but until you make up your mind or until you had enough space we cant see each other like this anymore.

Maybe this will open up the doors for further conversation. Good luck.

Answer 4

You have given all the power to him. Why ? Why should you wait around for someone to chose you ? The hell with him if he doesn't want you. If a man see's that he can come and go as he pleases and knows you'll just wait until, he will not respect you and will walk all over you. Dont be subtle, kick his *ss out now.

Answer 5

the shortest distance between two objects is a straight line, sounds to me like there's some honesty issues on both sides here... you want to know where it's going...without asking him where it's going? Ask him what his plans are for the next 5 years... after all he put the brakes on to ask himself this question. So the "plan" may not include you isn't it better to know rather than pining for a love that may not share your vision? at the same time you should ask yourself the same question... wqhat will YOU be doing in 5 years? and are you willing to sacrifice that vision for a mutal future.

Answer 6

Just mention going out on a date with someone else. Say this guy asked you out, and you were thinking about going. See what he says... If he wants something more, he should make it clear at that moment... If he doesnt, then you know it really is time to move on.

Answer 7

This is something you may have to be direct about. Or maybe invite him over and have a romantic setting & see where it leads. If it is awkward you need to tell him things can't go on this way, that you need him OR you need CLOSURE.