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2007-01-18 03:07:38 · 19 answers · asked by Hirudayasamy L 1 in Food & Drink Non-Alcoholic Drinks

19 answers

Consider these “Ten Commandments for Peacemakers”. (You can remember them by spelling PEACEMAKER.) Putting these into action will greatly enhance the likelihood of achieving lasting resolution to the inevitable conflicts that surface in every relationship.

1. P: Pick a private time and place
Many potentially productive discussions have been disrupted by interruptions, after which it is difficult to regain momentum. Other ways to sabotage success are the fear that someone can overhear or actual embarrassment because of lack of confidentiality of the discussion.

Head off those problems by arranging a quiet time in a private place without distractions.

2. E: Establish an appointment to discuss the issue
When you want to discuss something, approach the person respectfully, say what you’d like to talk about, then set a time to do so.

You might say something like this: “Janet, yesterday in the meeting we seemed to be having a difference of opinion that turned negative. I’d like for us to talk about this and see if we can work through it and get it cleared up. When do you think would be a good time for us to do that?”

3. A: Avoid labels, name calling, and emotionally-charged words
Describe the behavior rather than labeling it. For example, instead of saying, “You’re insensitive,” say, “Yesterday in the meeting, several times when I was talking, you interrupted with a reason you felt I was wrong.”

Emotionally charged words only serve to escalate bad feelings. Identify words that are likely to fan the flames of hostility and avoid them.

4. C: Create mutual benefit
The goal is to work for a “win-win” solution. Both people need to get many of their needs met in order for the solution to last. Therefore, each should work to address the concerns of the other person as well as one’s own.

5. E: Empathize
Walk a mile in the other person’s shoes. Make a real attempt to see the world as he was seeing it and try to feel what he might have experienced.

Make a statement about that. (e.g., “I can see how it might have looked that way to you, and how you could have thought that I was trying to take over your job. In a similar situation, I would probably have felt angry, too.”)

When a person feels that you are trying to understand, this goes a long way toward inviting their understanding and cooperation.

6. M: Make a distinction between needs and preferences
Identify real needs in a situation (e.g., I want to feel involved in decisions that affect me). Distinguish these from your preferences about the ways those needs can be met.

State your underlying needs clearly, then be flexible on your preferences about specific strategies for meeting the your needs as well as those of others involved. Brainstorm together to devise a plan that works for everyone.

7. A: Actively listen
Give the person your full attention. Make a real commitment to try to understand exactly what he or she is communicating to you. Check for understanding by verbally summarizing and paraphrasing.

8. K: Keep away from a focus on the past
Your problem solving will be much more successful if you focus on the present instead of the past. Of course, sometimes you need to put things in a historical context so that the person understands how your thoughts and beliefs and attitudes toward a situation have developed. However, using more recent examples is better because everyone will remember them more clearly and because current happenings present more potential for current change.

9. E: Establish a specific action plan
Don’t walk away from the discussion, relived that you’ve talked about something, only to find the next day that the people involved really did not have a common understanding about what was to take place.

Be specific about the part each person is to play in the solution to the problem. What specific things will each person do, when, and in what circumstances?

10. R: Response-ability of each person eliminates denial and blame
When people are in a win-lose conflict, they tend to deny their own responsibility and blame the other person. This destructive pattern can be eliminated if each person will take “response-ability”.

“Response-ability” is this: each person has the ability to respond differently in some way so that the situation can be better. If each person focuses on and acts on those things within his or her control, the situation will definitely improve..

2007-01-18 04:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Follow the principles set forth by great teachers like Buddha, Jesus Christ, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. Strive for peace within yourself through meditation, right livelihood, right thought and right action, and give generously to groups like Amnesty International, Oxfam, and Doctors without Borders who are working to help those caught in the crossfire of global conflict. Beyond that, consider a stint in the Peace Corp. Good luck!

2007-01-18 03:23:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Follow the principles set forth by great teachers like Buddha, Jesus Christ, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. Strive for peace within yourself through meditation, right livelihood, right thought and right action, and give generously to groups like Amnesty International, Oxfam, and Doctors without Borders who are working to help those caught in the crossfire of global conflict. Beyond that, consider a stint in the Peace Corp. Good luck!

2007-01-18 03:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by rufus_rob 2 · 0 0

Change your paradigm (perspective) of the world and the rest will be easy. It won't be difficult to become a peace maker because you'll be more understanding naturally.

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
Norman Vincent Peale - US clergyman (1898 - 1993)

To change old habits and work on better ones i recommend reading Steven Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". If you are a teenager then you might like to read Sean Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens".

Peace is a great thing to pursue, especially amidst today's turbulent world.

I wish you luck on your journey.

2007-01-18 03:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by Marcus 1 · 0 0

my friends mother used to keep a stick behind the chair in the living room, and that was called the peace maker!

2007-01-18 03:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0 0

i'm a Libra myself and that i understand what you advise. I beleive we are peace maker yet as quickly as we experience betrayed we can be very undesirable. those born under this sign, fantastically the girls, are so gentle to unity or inharmony that they are able to tell as quickly as they enter a house what the triumphing situations are. This from time to time makes them seem unhappy, detached, or disturbed, and that they are seen very disagree­able and inconsistent. Their intense spirits are subdued, and a shadow falls upon all who're of their business enterprise. because it fairly is not often risk-free or appropriate to describe the reason of the cloud, the victims are obliged to go through and be silent. This tendency to experience each exchange in those approximately them, and to study secret ideas is a persevering with risk to the perfect improve­ment. It keeps the guy careworn by using anxieties which won't be able to be relieved or spoken of. in this style the sympathies are stored in consistent action and without subserving any solid objective. whilst this psychic potential is ruled by using the will, and made to ideas its very own business enterprise, and save out of human beings's affairs, it is an outstanding rigidity, yet, used on a decrease airplane, is a source of unrest and distress. Libra all and sundry is apt to take issues from a cloth, literal viewpoint, and inspite of the incontrovertible fact that their effective indoors nature will often coach them the genuine soul-element of the que tion, yet they generally desire and settle for the conclusions of human logic. they are very impatient, and this reasons them to lose lots of their needed rigidity, often carry­ing pains around the small of the returned. whilst they improve out of the decrease desires, they make the main dedicated and loving companions and oldsters. they have an unbounded choose for the approbation of others, and are foolishly wounded by using trifles. they generally seem greater unreason­able and inconsistent than they are actually, because of the working of the 6th experience —instinct—which continuously acquaints them with the ideas and thoughts, states and stipulations, of those approximately them. Libra all and sundry is apt to espouse a sparkling reason too with ease, and often get into hassle by way of their enthusiasm, which seems in no thank you to cut back from the cradle to the grave. they are impatient of methods, and despise necessary recurring. whilst angered, it is seldom, they bypass away not something unsaid. The result's almost a cyclone, which leaves the air disturbed and cloudy for days in a while.

2016-10-31 10:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

You have started being a Peace Maker by rising this question.Let fate be on your side.

2007-01-18 03:22:16 · answer #7 · answered by vanpandy 4 · 0 0

Live and let live! Actions speak louder than words. Lead by example! Treat others the way you want to be treated even when they are not so respectfull!!! Always do your best

2007-01-18 03:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

by the grace of god
and do any thing that make peace to our Nation

2007-01-18 03:15:12 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin 5 · 0 0

Peace off !!

2007-01-18 03:14:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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