Hardworking woman who believes in being supportive...?

Question

I am involved with this man, who has been divorced 2 times, alot of people tell me that this is a sure sign that he has issues, but I don't judge him for the previous marriages, everyone find the wrong people in thier life. He is hardworking works 12 hours shifts as a correctional officer, goes to school full time at night, and supports his sons as much as his ex allows him. I believe in helping him when he needs help. By this I mean, lending the helping hand when he needs help with his homework, helping him get his daycare center operational. Nothing he asks is too much. But my close friends feel that he is just using me because of my brain, business sense and my connections. How can I make them understand that they only see one side, tht we are happy. Yes he does tend to keep secrets, but don't we all at times. Is it important for me to know exactly where he lives, or tht he lives where he feels its home? What are you thoughts. As they say its best to get someone neutral.

Answer 1

face value(neutral as you put it), sounds like you have a real winner on your hands(sarcasm here), and from your other questions, think back in your life and ask yourself when did second best become alright? not that dating and spending time with someone should turn into a win/lose situation, but in the sense of being used or munipulated, you being blinded so that to the point of defending the user and munipulator, do you see that in the way you have phrased your question? if your friends see this in you and also see what this guy really is(face value, this not being one of those if your friends jumped off a bridge would you situations) but a true life warning sign, i say to you, then where are your warning signs or flags or hey watch out that we are all equipted with called a gut feeling, not to be confused with feeling of the heart, i would say go back to that day second best became your guide and stopped listening to your gut feelings, there you will find the real answer in if your wasting your time or if you are up to the challenge of dealing with what comes with continueing on with this guy(face value for you second place), excuse or not the signs are there that this isnt good, heed the warnings they are right infront of you, be prepaired to pay for second best if you choose not to accept them..... only you can choose to have the being lied to and being munipulated stopped, by getting rid of second best.....

HAND have anice day!

Answer 2

The secrets have to stop, yea we all have secrets but couples shouldnt have hem between each other. I think its sweet that your helping him and supportive, you dont have to justify anything to your friends, as a matter of fact, dont tell them your business, they dont need to know! But dont give him money, then he may really be using you! Oh, and if you question his motives, next time he asks for a favor, nicely say no and see how he reacts.

Answer 3

probably interior the beginning up, considering that each thing exchange into in step with survival, adult males have been those doing issues, battling searching and helping all and sundry else stay to tell the tale, so they felt they deserved greater attractiveness than women. and because women are not rude sufficient to upward thrust up and say, "hi, i'm the reason there is life on the planet, you do not % to debris with me - i'm as significant as you're." It has stayed that way, and exceeded in the process the generations consistently. it is relatively unhappy. you're pretty intelligent- I see adult males and ladies as equivalent too. They the two have responsiblities in this life that bypass with the different. i don't understand why there is sexism. possibly, adult males are purely insecure.

Answer 4

the only secret you should keep from your spouse or significant other is what your getting them for their birthday. . my hubby and I decided the best way to a long lasting relationship was no secrets . .we keep none from each other and although some emotions pass we don't keep secrets. We started out in 1982 as bf /gf been married for 18 years.