My boyfriend is so negative about us?

Question

I have known my boyfriend for 5 years - we have officially been dating for about a year. When we first started dating he seemed fine with everything he seemed happy and told me all the time how great our relationship was. but now he is sooooooo negative. I am not allowed to have any “me” time. If I even bring up that I’m going to the gym, bank, or grocery store without him he gets so sad and quite. He says “why do you have to go anywhere without me” – when I tell him I want personal time he says “ I don’t see you for 8 hours while you are at work, isn’t that enough time away from me?” What! So my personal time is when I am at work, whatever. my friends are either married or in serious relationships I am 29 and I don’t go out to clubs and party anymore – infact the only time I got out with friends is when he is with me! I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t support me when I wanted to join a gym, he knows I hate my weight. I feel he just wants me fat & ugly so noone else would notice me – I tell him I want to look better for myself and noone else. How do I get him to be happy again and not think everything I do will result in us not together.

Answer 1

Here's the thing that sets off a red flag for me. He wasn't happy for you when you joined the gym. If he knew that that was a big deal for you, he should have been supportive. I'm sorry honey, this is only the beginning. He is trying to control you by making you feel guilty. It's classic. Get out now while you can. It's going to be hard to let him go because you've known him for so long, so there was a history there before you even got together. But it will be better if you leave.
And remember, this isn't your fault. That's how he wants you to feel so he can get his way. It's very childish. So hold your ground and don't give in. This is not a healthy relationship. In a good relationship, there is support for each other, not jealousy or sadness all the time. He is trying to manipulate you and that is something that you don't need. You are a good person and you deserve better.

Answer 2

Break up with him, YOU do NOT need @ssholes like that in your life, all they are is trouble...I have been stalked and harrassed by men most of my life and I just woke up one day and said f*ck it I'm doing my own thing, IF the guy can't except it then you know where you can go....My advice to you hun is just leave him don't be insecure and have a man ruin your life. Men want to be babied half the time and if you don't do what they say then they get all craaazy and act all jealous and have you not even see your own family members. I was the sameway till I actually found a great guy to be with, and I have been with him since I was 18 and now i'm almost 22yrs old and we have been steady for four years almost...So take mya dvice and leave me...He'll turn into a woman beater if you don't leave him....E mail me sometime
[e-mail]

Later and Good-Luck

Jackie

Answer 3

In love, honey your answer is staring you right in the face. I know you have heard that men are natural born leaders. Well, some women are natural born needers. Men need their women to need them and if you don't cater to their every need, they start playing mind games. Please, whatever you decide, don't fall into the vortex of his negativity and get caught up feeling negative about your relationship. The second worst feelings in a relationship is being with someone who is always drab about the two of you. The first is being with someone and still feel lonely. They both are very stressful emotions that weigh a ton on your soul.
You can try to reinvent your man by reminding him how the two of you used to be and remember the good times that you two shared. Or, you can imagine what your friends would think about you as you think about your guy if you gave into his negativity. If you are a smart woman (as I am!) you will use your womanly ways and pull your man over to your bright side and live life to the fullest. Take Care& Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

He's not negative about you. He is negative about himself. Ge out while The getting out is good. He is an insecure control freak. Being i no relationship is better than this. Imagine if you will what will life be like if you stay together and marry him. He really won't let you out of the house then. One of my friends broke up with her control freak boyfriend and he called her 67 times in one night. This is not a safe relationship. It can definitely lead to physical abuse. Get out and get caller ID. If he harasses you like that get the police involved for your safety.

Answer 5

I think he misses you too much. I would suggest maybe asking him to come along if you go to places like gymn, bank, grocery. Maybe he could help you as well and give you support.

Answer 6

so tell him to leave and watch

Answer 7

"" MOVE-ON ""