Is this normal?

Question

I had a baby July 3rd of 06, and I love him with all my heart, I also got married when I was 6 months pregnant, I am 18, And I was wondering if it was normal to sometimes think about what it would be like now if we didn't have him, or wonder if my husband and I would get along better if he wasn't here? I can't think of life without my son, but every once in awhile it kind of comes into my mind. And does anyone have any tips on continuing on a romantic relationship even though we've had a baby?

Answer 1

It is normal. I had my son when I was 17 and felt like crap for thinking things like that. But I talked to people about it and felt better. It is a little harder to have private time with a baby, but you can do it. Have a date night every chance you get, if someone can watch the baby even if all you're going to do is sit at home. And my 1st sons' birthday is July 3rd(of 2000) :)

Answer 2

I know exactly what you mean. I got pregnant with my son 1 month after meeting my boyfriend. After that my world completely changed. Luckily, their father turned out to be a stand up guy and since then we have moved in together and had a baby girl only 5 months old.

After it is all said and done, I love my kids and I have never regretted them for one second. I am sure that you feel the same way. Just think of it this way, we are curious by nature. It is only normal that we wonder what might have been.

As far as having a romantic relationship, here's what I do with my boyfriend. Once a month, we leave the kids with my mother-in-law. We go out to see a movie, and have dinner at our favorite restaurant. We talk, hold hands, and just try to tell each other how lucky we are to have the other. Then we pick up the kids and go home. This has helped improve our love life as well as our relationship. It may not seem like much, but we both work full-time jobs and hardly have any time to ourselves. You can maybe schedule a date-night once a week, or once a month. Try it.

Answer 3

Oh yeah it's normal. I had my daughter when I was 18 and still in High School. Some time's I think about how things would have been different like I didn't go to my Senior Prom because I was 7 months pregnant so I some time's feel like I missed out. But then I look at here (she's now 5) and I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world!

As for a romantic relationship with your husband. Set aside one night a week even if you can't find a babysitter and do something special. My husband and I don't trust anyone other then family and one close friend to watch our daughter so we hardly ever go out. But we rent movie's once a week and spend the night cuddling and talking. Just make time for each other and make sure you guy's tell each other how much you are in love with one another every day!

Answer 4

I've never had a baby but I'm sure the dynamic of your relationships has changed with your man. It has to! When you have a third person in any equation, it can cause tensions.Just know that you are not alone and many women go through an adjustment period after they have a baby, they must now adjust to not just being the two of you, but being the three of you. My best advice would be to get a babysitter once a week, and for one day out of the week it is just you and him time. Go to the movies, go on dates, do little romantic things for each other, cherish and appreciate each other. Try reading books on the subject and see what the experts say. I think you will be just fine, this is just a time of adjustment and change. You are very young and this is a big responsibility. Check out this book "How to stay sane in your baby's first year"
http://www.amazon.com/Stay-Sane-Your-Babys-First/dp/0684868474/sr=1-7/qid=1169135400/ref=sr_1_7/105-1048264-8050025?ie=UTF8&s=books
Good luck!

Answer 5

that is tough especially when your young and you have a baby I'v been with the same person for 17 years we had our first child when he was only 17 and I was 20 and no we are not married and we also had another child 5 years after the first . I think everybody wonders what would of things been like. Sorry no tips for a romantic relationship. Just feel whats in your heart

Answer 6

Honey thats perfectly normal. Im 25 with 3 kids, a husband, a mortgage, and tons of responsibility Even I wish some days that it wasnt there. I had my oldest at 17, and I was still in high school I didnt really get that time in my life. Everyone goes through phases where they wish it was all gone so you could just live how you want. But then your baby smiles at you and makes you laugh and your back to normal.

Answer 7

I think it is perfectly normal. My husband and have a 3 1/2 y/o and 1 1/2 y/o and I still think about it but I wouldn't trade our boys for anything. When the baby is sleeping, take that time to do things for yourself and to spend quality time with you husband. Every little bit counts!

Answer 8

Hey girl.....do not worry about wondering "What if" We all do that....Just focus on what you have now....Your baby is #1....even if something was to happen between you and the baby's father. You will handle it....You always want your kids to have a better life than You had, when u were growing up. This is the time to make it happen! You are a woman....and even better.....YOUR A MOTHER!!!!! God Bless you and that little angel of yours!!!!

Answer 9

I am a single parent of two small ones and have no help at all. I often think of where I would be if I didn't take on this responsibility, especially when things get rough. Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda. I honestly believe I am more of a man for not leaving as well.

Answer 10

Just continue 2 love each other no matter what and besides a lot of people go through the same thing that you're going through so don't worry...Just be happy that you have created a new life in this world!