I'm in a role reversal situation! Instead of the girl wanted to get married in my situation it's the guy. My boyfriend is six years older than me, he has his career, a beautiful home, and he knows that he wants to be with me. His logical next step is to get married and engaged! The only problem is I don't want to get engaged and I don't know why! I'm in my last semester in graduate school and am going to be making some big decisions. I have been given the ultimatum that I need to decide or break up with him. I love my boyfriend and enjoy most of the time we spend together. I feel like I dont' want to lose him but I don't know if we would be happy together in the long run! Any advice?
2007-01-18 02:21:16 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your having doubts, don't do it........you'll only regret it and resent him later
2007-01-18 02:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth if he loves you so much would he give you an ultimatum? Surely if you are not ready then there doesn't need to be any more explanation than that. It is not something to be entered into lightly so good for you that you want to put it off until you feel ready. Why the big rush? Tell him you love him and that you are not rejecting him but you have enough to think about without having to plan a wedding. Tell him you want to devote time to making it the best wedding ever and so want to get school and all the other big plans out of the way first.
He may just feel you spurned him and his ego is hurt.
2007-01-18 02:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are scared of comment ? or are you not sure that he is the one. You should not string him along, if he is not the one cut him loose. Is he good to you, treat you like a person? not abusive, respect you and you re career ? then consider a long engagement? an engagement is a trial period not a marriage, you may need that to make the right decision. Think of what is best for you and him too ! Be honest .Dint stay with him because you like having someone. Is he the person you want to comment to for ever ? if you know he is truly not you re forever end it now, if he is you re future make the next steep, an engagement. Be fair
luck and happiness
2007-01-18 02:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by danceteacher5555 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over and see if a long engagement would suit the both of you. If he loves you that much he should be willing to wait for you. Also he should think of the future and see how much happier the two of you will be if you are finished with your schooling and you are 100 percent committed to the marriage. Nothing wrong with a a long engagement. Just because you get engaged, doesn't mean you have to get married next month. Getting engaged to him is just assuring him that you want to marry just him and that's what he is asking. Good luck to you.
2007-01-18 02:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Informed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready and he is, then you are in two different situations in life and need to make a tough decision. You were given an ultimatum. Personally if someone gave me an ultimatum I would be outta there fast. It's a bad sign.
2007-01-18 02:25:08 · answer #5 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait until you finish school and make the big decisions you have to make then, and then worry about marriage. If he loves you he will and if not, he may be a control freak and even if you were to marry him it would not last unless he ruled the home The happiness you would gain now would be offset by the pain you could be getting yourself into in the long run.
2007-01-18 02:29:39 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i have been through this my advice to u is sit down with him and talk and just say hey ya know i love you and always will and talk about all the things you love about him and all ur good times and just tell him honey i love you but i am not ready to make a BIG decision on marrying you then say if u love me you'll wait till i'm ready if not tell him to find someone who will marry him and want to marry him me and my fiance had this problem last year he wanted to marry i didn't we broke up and missed each other so much i decided i wanted to marry him so he proposed i accepted and we are on our way and we were only 18 at this time but we are so much in love words couldn't describe it if u have yahoo im add me my screen name is trinity1402017 k hope to talk to u need any more advice im me k? :)
2007-01-18 02:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the two of you have the same goals in life? Do you both want children? Sounds to be like you have different plans for your lives. If that's the case, it wouldn't make sense to get married. You'll find yourselves in a divorce in no time.
If you're not ready, you're not ready. Tell him. If he can't handle it, then break up.
2007-01-18 02:26:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I understand where he is coming from and where you're coming from. It wasn't right for him to say you either get engaged to me or we are going to break up. If you don't want to lose him just get engaged. Just tell him okay we can get engage, but I don't want to get marry yet. There's no harm with engagements and when you're ready to get married just tell him you're ready. Just tell him that he has to be more understanding of you. That you don't want to lose him and you do love him that's why you're getting engaged to him, but you want the wedding date to be up to you and he has to respect your wishes to because getting married is a big deal.
2007-01-18 02:30:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a tough situation, but you have to do what is best for you, which means you will have to break up with him. he has his career and life set, but it is you who may decide that you need to move to pursue a job, or something else. having a great gf/bf is rare, but you can't put your future goals on the line just to keep him. after all it was him who gave you the ultimatum.
2007-01-18 02:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by Lin B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're having doubts about the relationship, then stick to your decision- say no.
If you do love him, get engaged. Just plan the wedding for when you get out of grad. school and get in a good position to do so.
2007-01-18 02:25:15 · answer #11 · answered by Mujer Bonita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋