i unblocked him from msn as he said he wanted to talk, i found out through his friends. i still want to remain friends with him even when he really hurt me it was only towards the end when he dumped me, he was a bit of a coward . he was a really nice person when we were together and i still care for him but now i'm starting to think i should delete him from my life all together its just to painful this would mean deleting his phone no. and email however we both go to the same college so this makes it harder to forget him. what should i do?, not sure i'm ready to let him go should i explain my feelings towards him in an email and be done with him?
2007-01-18 00:58:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You found out through his friends that he wanted to talk??? Yep - he is a bit of a coward. Here's what I'd do...
Tell him you're confused about how you're feeling toward him. You were hurt - very badly. Tell him too that you're not sure if you can have a relationship with him in any manner - but that you're willing to try - with some conditions....
1) Does he really want to talk to you - because that's what you heard from his friends but you want to clarify - and why didn't he let you know himself?
2) Why? Why does he want to talk?
3) What would be the purpose of you two being friends?
If he can answer the questions above in a loving manner - and he says things like "I really like you. I enjoy your company because we both have (whatever) in common. You're interesting - and I love your stories. You make me laugh. I feel comfortable around you because we share a lot of the same morals and values" If he answers in that way - then he's probably an okay guy who just didn't want to be in a serious relationship with you - but truly likes you. IF you can handle being just friends with him. (and that is a huge IF) then go for it.
But if you ask him the questions above and he gets defensive or says things like "I don't know - I just like you" - RUN!!!!! People who can express themselves and communicate their feelings are who you want to be hanging out with.
If you know now (without asking the questions above) that you want nothing to do with him - you may e-mail him and tell him that you are done. But stick to it. No need to be wishy washy. You probably should be asking yourself what the purpose behind a friendship for you two would be. If you can't think of any reasons why it would be a good thing - don't do it.
2007-01-18 01:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear MonkeyBrains,
You need more time to heal before you try to have a friendship with your ex-bf. Ask your mutual friends to stop giving you reports. Take him off your MSN messenger and off your cell phone speed dial. If you see him on campus, smile, be polite and cordial, but keep it short and move in another direction. Do not be caught saying things about him to others, especially if you are hurt. He is getting reports on most of your conversations concerning him. Stop feeding the rumor mill. After some time passes (and you are feeling less hurt), and if you are want to, you can try a friendship. The important thing is not to rush. There is no deadline here. Yes, move on with your heart and keep in mind all you learned...apply it to your next relationship... and the most important lesson to take is stand up for yourself.
Good luck to you in your future relationships, hon. You'll do fine. :)
2007-01-18 09:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to continue any contact with him at all? He is in the past. He dumped you. Why give him the satisfaction of a friendship after he dumped you? Where is your pride? It is his mistake and he has to live without you in his life ever again. Ignore him when you see him. Unless you are in the tiniest college ever, you should be able to avoid him most of the time. Find yourself someone who will appreciate you for the wonderful person you are.
2007-01-18 09:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that you have him on MSN or your e-mail list, it's that you can't seem to get past him for one reason or another. Try to focus on you and keep busy, time heals all. IF after a while you still find yourself having issues with seeing him on your list, then delete him and move on. If it's meant to be he will contact you and things will work out, if not then so be it.
2007-01-18 09:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by yawhosucs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is find a new friend to talk with a guy that you mite find attractive and start dating him you feel this way mite not have had a lot of boyfriends and thats good but you need to date someone else and youll see youll get over him just dont let him get in the way on your thoughts when your with the new guy...good luck
2007-01-18 09:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by hotrod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't explain anything to him. Try to imagin yourself talking to him and see how that feels first. If it feels bad and your hurt...then you know your answer. Sometimes playing out seniarios in your head first can be an advantage. Good luck
2007-01-18 09:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let him know....everything love, anger, every tear......then just move on with your life. You don't need some one who's going to hurt. Its his lost. And if his looking for or trying to talk you is for a reason.
2007-01-18 09:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no reason to dump him out of your life just dont get close to him...detach your self from what once was to whati s now and everything will be ok..you guys can still be friends
2007-01-18 09:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
find another guy, kiss him like mad in front of your ex to prove your taken, unavailable and over him.
but make sure you don't dump this guy if your ex asks you out, say 'no' it'll show him what it's like to be rejected. you'll feel better, have a new person to care for and.........delete your ex, ignore his presence completely.
it'll be okay
2007-01-18 09:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by Milly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Push the delete button for good. It's better that way. If you see him in person, but cordial but don't encourage it.
2007-01-18 09:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by samthecatrocks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋