Jehovah's Witness Funerals?

Question

Why do they have memorials (which seem like 'meetings') instead of graveside burials and why don't they visit or make the location of the grave known to family? There doesn't seem to be any closure with their method.

My husbands family are all practising Jehova's Witnesses (he was baptised into the religion and then they revoked it) and we are not part of this religion, however I have been to three of these memorials and there is no closure they barely speak of the family member who has passed. My husband has no idea where his grandparents or 3 aunts were buried there was never any mention of it and he as well has gotten no closure from the services.

Answer 1

This question seems to describe the decisions of one family, rather than the general (or preferred) practices of the Jehovah's Witness religion.

While Jehovah's Witnesses do not participate in pagan ceremonies or other practices which conflict with the bible, the vast majority of what occurs with regard to funerals, gravesides, tombstones, and communication within a family are best left to individuals and families to decide. The congregation's purpose is to provide support to the family's spiritual needs, and to some extent the family's practical needs.

As a global organization, Jehovah's Witnesses fully understand that local standards and community sensibilities (and the family's opinions about the perceived wishes of the deceased) will determine the exact nature of most details surrounding
a funeral and/or burial service. Especially during a time of bereavement, it makes little sense to criticize whatever decisions are made by conscientious surviving family.

As a religion, Jehovah's Witnesses have no objections to any combination of open-casket, closed-casket, no-casket, graveside, or cremation services. Jehovah's Witnesses have no objections to cemeteries, tombstones, mausoleums, or other dignified non-pagan grave markings. Many among Jehovah's Witnesses regularly visit the graves of deceased loved ones, and
consider nearly every aspect of such dignified visits to be a matter of personal conscience. No Witness would work to discourage or prevent such visits by another.

A congregation (rather than family) "memorial" is less open for personal preferences when it is held at an official "Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses". Such memorial services must adhere to consistent guidelines which local congregation elders can discuss with family. There is no special benefit or ritual to a Jehovah's Witness "Kingdom Hall" service, however.

Of course, human death is unnatural. Jehovah's anointed King Jesus Christ will soon end this heartbreaking result of mankind's alienation from God and resurrect nearly every human who has ever died to a paradise earth.

Answer 2

Actually, we can have our funerals wherever we want and families bury their own loved ones so the location of the body is never a mystery to us - I'm not sure where you got that information. I have visited the grave of my grandfather a few times although when I go there, knowing the condition of the dead (Ecc 9:5, 10), I don't feel particularly connected to him when I visit. I just thought about him and some nice memories I have of him when I've gone.

I have been to a couple of witness funerals that were "open casket" but have never been to one that's at graveside.

I personally do find our general "memorial" format to be more comforting than other funerals I have been to (both inside and outside our organization). Our "closure" comes from the resurrection hope found the scriptures (John 5:28, 29).

EDIT

I can't answer for your husband's family about why they won't tell him where your loved ones are buried. It sounds like a personal decision they have made and it's unfortunate. It doesn't have anything to do with our religion though. As for what was said during memorial talks...perhaps the person that was picked to say the talk didn't know the person well. The memorials I have been to have at times included slides of the person's life/letters written to the person in their last days/many accounts of the accomplishments the person made in their life...especially if they were active in preaching about our hope for the future. I'm sorry that you've had such a disappointing experience with your in-laws but we have a lot of say when it comes to what happens at our funerals. I can e-mail you more information about it if you like.

Answer 3

You've received some good answers above from witnesses. The plans my parents have are to have their bodies immediately cremated and the ashes scattered. That is the same for myself. Generally, most witnesses make this choice. When a person if sure they will see their loved one again, they have no need for closing. This can be problematic for children of witnesses, as the parents of their friends and school teachers have trouble understanding this. They often think it abnormal for the children not to be devastated over the lost, even of a parent. Since the children are taught the complete Bible, right along side their parents, they have a much better understanding of life, death, and the resurrection. Some times the schools will require the children to talk to a counselor and tell them what they are feeling is not normal for kids.

Of note, my stepfather's mother asked that her memorial be held at the Kingdom Hall, even though she was never a witness, or ever went to the Hall. She was buried and the memorial held the next weekend.

Answer 4

I am confused. I have been to grave side funerals of fellow Witnesses. I have gone to ones that were done at the funeral home. If you want to know where the grave or urn is Ask. Keep in mind that it is the wishes of the deceased that should be respected. Some do not want to have a grave but would rath an urn.When my Grandmother died a year ago we did have the services at the Kingdom Hall. She was cremated. We have her urn in our living room. Anyone that wishes to know can. Some families may not want to publicise the location for some personal reason. This is their choice.

If your hubby wants to know he needs to ask. Someone knows where the Aunts are. More than likely he just has not asked. If he asks and is still not told then maybe there is some sort of family rift going on.

Answer 5

I have attended funerals done a number both ways. Some with no graveside service. Some with both the service done at the Kingdom Hall, and then some words said at the graveside.

I attended one where they knew the gathering would be so large they held the service at the funeral home instead of the Kingdom Hall.

The most recent one I attended was SOO sad. A young mother and her infant son were killed by a truck driver who was choking and crossed into oncoming traffic.

They lived in a small town in Kansas. There were so many in attendance. We had the entire town at a standstill for 20 minutes with the funeral procession.

Answer 6

because all that spending large amounts of money for a dead person is unnecessary. The Bible clearly states that 'the dead are conscious of nothing' plus the fact that we as Jehovah's Witnesses have the hope of the resurrection. That means we will see our dead love ones again. Besides it is better to grieve in private instead of 'showing out' in public like most funerals.

Answer 7

I happen to have a transcript of a funeral of dear friend of mine who was one of Jehovah's Witnesses. The memorial service was full of anecdotes about his life. I would like to send it to you. I was very ill and unable to attend the service but a afriend sent me this. and yes I do know where his remains are.

Answer 8

What krobin said!

Answer 9

Sunny is correct...