2007-01-18 00:38:16 · 18 answers · asked by rosebud 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The hostility is anger, fear, plain temper tantrum or more.
Be the strong parent here. Sit down and communicate and make a list of agreements between you and the teen. Explain that this will be similar to an employment contract they will most likely be presented with in the future from an employer.
Life is not about showing hostility and getting money. TEACH your child the tools they will need in life & communicate.
Let him/her know that you're going to be buying drug tests at the local pharmacy to test for drugs, daily/weekly/randomly, as part of your agreement/contract.
They will EARN any money you provide and will NOT get a penny until you decide and they have kept up their end of the agreements/contract made between the two of you.
You too must be open to listen to your teen and make certain agreements as well within your contract.
Communicate & best of luck to you. This is a difficult situation and will get worse if you don't take control of it now. You know your child more than a counselor..........take the time and be there for them.
2007-01-18 01:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by ☼High☼Voltage☼Blonde☼ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop spoiling the kid, my mother kicked me out of the house when I was 15... I'm 19 now and I never had to move back into my mothers. When you're forced into the real world, you adjust. I work 40hrs a week to support myself and am currently looking for a night job as well. I have my own apt, cable, internet, phone, gorcerys, cell phone, computer, car... I turned out fine. All you have to do is stop being their support (money-wise) Make them get a job, or work around the house if they're not old enough for jobs yet.. and if they get hostile, don't give them ANY money no matter how much work they do... if they're being hostile, it could be the teen angst (which I had, badly) or it could be laziness, or that they are upset that you're not just handing them money anymore. If they still don't get why you can't give them money everyday, have them sit down with you while you're paying your bills... and let them SEE where all the money is going. I hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-01-18 08:51:23 · answer #2 · answered by Ophelia 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Spoiling a teenager is hostile because they are trying to grow up. What are they doing with the money or don't you know for sure?
2007-01-18 08:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With out doubt counseling before the hostility gets out of control. No counseling? no money!
2007-01-18 10:01:19 · answer #4 · answered by Ole Charlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had one living with me. She was my granddaughter. She was hostile, kept asking for money and stayed out all night. Now she's pregnant and living with her boyfriend. I'm glad to get rid of her. I did everything I could for that girl. If it wasn't for me she wouldn't of graduated from high school. I went through hell to accomplish that for her. She always forgot to do her homework and I had to remind her and beg her to do it. To top that off, I would have to listen to her father screaming at her everynight. I don't know how I didn't go out of my mind. I wish there were camps for kids up to the age of 21 that parents can send troubled kids to and straighten out their thinking. I took her to a councellor every week, but that didn't do any good.
2007-01-18 08:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by shirlandjerry@yahoo.com 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
1. Don't give them money.
2. If they become physical or you feel threatened then you might want to seek some counseling for them. What is he/she angry about? Is he/she in school? Maybe someone else in their life is mistreating them and they are taking it out on you.
3. Have a talk with him/her.
2007-01-18 09:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by Miss B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with him to family counseling, find out the underlying cause for his behavior & see if its fixable. Also for advice for yourself as to how to handle him. See if legally you can take him to the dr for a blood test to see if he's on drugs. If he has a car take away the keys until he shows a change in attitude & becomes more responsible.
2007-01-18 09:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by Judith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to lose the hostility or he will get nothing from you.
2007-01-19 02:35:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since they think they are grown let them be grown stop giving them stuff tell them that grown people get their own things. as far as the money issue make them get a job or just be broke. you have to make it clear that they arent entitled to the extra things you give them such as cell phones or extra cash but its a reward. the main thing is to stick to your guns dont cave once you make a law stick wit it cause they love to look for weakness
2007-01-18 09:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by chacha685 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you do is be sure the teenager knows the hostlity is unacceptable and that he/she had better seek employment - that's where money comes from for most of us.
2007-01-18 08:49:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋