I have just finished with my boyfriend of about 2 months. I thought I could handle the baggage of his ex of ten years ago with whom he has a child, but as time went on I realised it hurt too much and I did speak to him about it but he carried on. He would boast about how good sex was with her and how she gets lots of men, and even reminises about her in front of me, then says well they're only memories. Other wise he was a good friend, silly as it sounds, but now I feel so awful as I did get on so well with him. What's your opinion, of have you been in a similar situation. I don't know what to do as he is really upset, and now unsure of my actions. Help!!!
2007-01-18 00:19:50 · 23 answers · asked by helloha06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To Misbehave, in answer to your question, 'what's wrong with that?'
2007-01-18 00:27:04 · update #1
It seems like you made the best choice given that he STILL isn't over his woman from 10 years ago but it is hard to say.....you only gave it 2 months which is really no time at all...all in all I would say you were smart to get out now
2007-01-18 00:23:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as i can say i think you have done the right thing! a good friend would know that that sort of boasting and reminising is not appropriate and even less so if you are trying to build a relationship. i would talk the whole thing out with him as he obviously does'nt understand what hes doing or he wouldn't be upset. after you have talked maybe you will feel better about the whole situation and maybe he will be able to get on with his life a bit more. just one more thing i wouldn't let him back in going backwards is never good - find someone that wants to worship you!!!
2007-01-18 00:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by scuba girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any guy that boasts about their sex lives with an ex and reminises in front of his current girlfriend has a problem. Sure we all bring up certain instances - but not constantly and not when it hurts our current partner.
If you think you two have another chance - tell him you'll take him back if he cops the hell on and stops all the reminising crap.
xx
2007-01-18 00:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK so he had a child with this women but to sit in front of you and remains about the past is very wrong he should off been planing a future withe you not going on about his x and how good the sex was and brag about how meany men she can get people like her get names 4 their self's its called being a slapper i think you did the right thing don't put your self down 4 get him and move on your better than him go out and enjoy your self and have some fun with ya mates and you will 4 get about him in no time
2007-01-18 00:32:22 · answer #4 · answered by dolly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look it is a very short time since you did this. Give yourself sometime to recover and then got on with meeting someone without baggage. I think you need to have some confidence in yourself. Go on a shopping spree and maybe that will cheer you up a bit
2007-01-18 00:30:40 · answer #5 · answered by traceylill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was talking of his ex in front of you and saying how good she was then I have to be honest and say that he wasn't in to you at all.
As he has a child with her she will always be around and you really really are better off.
I had an ex that kept comparing me to her ex boyfriend - I didn't earn as much as him, he was more sporty, he was a better lover - I tried to stick at it for 2 years but then I realised that she was still in love with him and no-one was going to replace him in her eyes so I left. Now I'm happily married with two smashing girls.
You go girl and find someone who will love and want you for who you are.
2007-01-18 00:30:04 · answer #6 · answered by breezeycouk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with a guy who has kids, he See's his baby mother as just that. Just the parents of his kids, he doesn't think about her at all now in that way.
The only person your ex should thought about in that way is you, it seems quite clear that he was just waiting for her to ask him back.
Who would reminisces about a girl that gets loads of guys that sounds like a slappa to me.
Good on you for getting out early before you end up getting really hurt.
2007-01-18 00:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by janetlouise24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have done the right thing. you have been with him 2 months and already he is making you feel like this. as if you dont measure up. you shouldnt feel that way not ever and definately not in the first 2 months. if it hurts this much now.. how much would it hurt 2 years down the road
2007-01-18 00:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Sue Ann Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason to be dating someone that constantly brings up their X. It means that they still have feelings for the person. You made the wise decision as he was not ready for a relationship with you at the time
2007-01-18 00:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think we all have x's who we still think about, but most of us keep the thoughts private. Maybe he still talks about her because he feels she is "unfinished business".
Even so he should not do this in front of you, or voice his feelings and recollections in front of you so openly. It show very little respect for you and your feelings, nd maybe a little immaturity on his behalf.
I think you did do the right thing by ending your relationship with him. If you had carried on he could have bought you down and made you insecure and possibly even paranoid.
Everyone deserves to be made to feel good and confident about themselves by their loved ones.
2007-01-18 00:43:21 · answer #10 · answered by doodlepol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋