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Me and my wife had an argument. I said we should spank our kids as a disciplinary action. She says we should give them a nice "talking to" or a "timeout". I dont want my kids to grow up to be little ******* but I dont want them to be violent. What should I do?

2007-01-17 23:19:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

18 answers

We as a family believe very much in spanking. However you and your wife need to be united in your choice. Or at least she needs to allow you to use spanking, and support your decision to do so. Spanking doesn't make children violent, so throw that out the window. The only way you could possibly make your child violent by spanking would be to do them in anger or rage. Time out or talking to IMHO is not enough for the more serious things. Try and compromise with your wife, if not I wouldn't spank.

2007-01-18 00:12:20 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 2 0

It does not matter whether or not you spank your kids or do timeouts, what matters is that what ever punishment you use it is done consistantly. There is a right and wrong way to spank and there is a right and wrong way to do time out.

If you spank make sure the crime fits the punishment. Make sure you do it on the first offense not the third, and make sure you do it each time.

If you do time out make sure you do it on first affense and make sure they stay there till they are truely sorry if they run off then put them back and keep doing so until they stay there, then when they calm down or stay put after the five or so minutes they stayed put make them apologize.

If there was something they were suppose to be doing before punishment they must go and do it, and repeat if you don't get compliance.

Most kids today will do something over and over again because they know they can get away with it, we had a horrible time in our home until I figured this out. Once I did we started having peace in our home. I do both spanking and time out. Oh and don't forget to reward when they are doing good.

giving a child a lecture or good talking to will loose them, you need them to know that their consiquences have actions. Even when you put them in time out do not give long explanations

2007-01-19 07:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0 0

I dont see anything wrong with a spanking as long as its justified and the child knows and is explained why was it for. Of course were talking of spanking and not beating a child. But you two should complement one another and do both since you dont want to spank your child often. The important thing is that he or she knows what it is for. Spanking wont make the kid grow violent if they know the reason for it. I combine the timeouts, the spanking and taking away privileges but always always always talk to them so they know what they are doing wrong and what should they correct.

2007-01-18 00:31:00 · answer #3 · answered by packeroo 2 · 2 0

I have 6 kids. My 3 & 5 year olds get timeouts with there favorite toys taken away and it works great. The older kids get grounded. Depending on what they did it ranges from no friends, no computer, all of there favorite things taken away and just to keep them busy and out of trouble they get housework added on as part of the punishment. I have people tell me they think spanking works the best and they spank their kids almost every day. Well if spanking works that well why would you have to do it almost everyday?

2007-01-18 00:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by shelly m 1 · 0 1

maximum human beings who talk about bare bottom spankings on indexed right here are perverts/trolls with spanking fetishes. i do not understand everyone who quite does that. I do have self assurance that spanking might want to be mandatory for babies at a particular age (about 2-5). for a baby that youthful besides the undeniable fact that, the punishment should be ideal after the very reality in the different case it truly is ineffective because they have any such short interest span, so taking time to undress them looks really stupid. With an older toddler, i do not imagine you need to be spanking in any respect because they are previous adequate to be self wakeful about their bodies, plus they ought to understand the guidelines and pay interest to you for the most portion of you've been in step with self-discipline from the time they were youthful. and they are previous adequate to lose privileges or get grounded. yet back, by a particular age it truly is totally humiliating and degrading to smack a baby on the bottom, and doing it bare might want to easily be 10 cases worse. I agree that it truly is unwell, yet that man or woman you're talking about likely became a troll.

2016-11-25 01:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

kids see spankings as a reaction to what they have done, only stupid adults see it as abuse. I was spanked and I am not violent. my dad was spanked and he is not violent, my whole family, brothers sister, mom, dad, grandparents aunt uncle you name it we were all spanked and NOT ONE member of the family is violent or in jail. "talking'' and "time outs" do not work and the kids grow up to think that they can do any thing they want because the only thing they have to deal with is sitting in a chair for 10 minits. 10 minits in a chair does not teach a child any thing, and talking goes right over their heads. spankings work, nothing else does.

2007-01-18 07:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

It should be some of both. Reserve spanking for the worst of offenses- running in the road, playing with the stove, total disobedience. Use the talking to and timeout stuff for lesser offenses.

2007-01-18 00:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1 0

YES, YES, YES spank ur kids. Theres nothin wrong with that. I dont know whats wrong with it. The kids will listen and take u more seriously. Im not talking abuse just a popping on the butt, or hand. And as they get older spank harder or with belts. I probally get thumbs down, but i turned out pretty damn good and i got spankins. I was a bad a** little girl:)

2007-01-17 23:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by gurllucky7 4 · 4 0

You need to work on your understanding of why your kids are doing like they're doing.

Spanking isn't going to make them learn better. Maybe they'll even get more resistant to you and want to defy you more.

I suggest you work on your own image. You're the father. If you're a bad image for your kids you can't expect them to be much better now can you.

If they're at an age where they understand what you say more or less, you can try different kinds of communication. Try to see things from your kids perspective, or change environment and have a talk for example. Your kids will only act decent in your surrounding if they respect you, but spanking won't add respect, it adds the opposite.

There's a lot of info on these topics on the net, google around a little and you may find more advice. Good luck.

2007-01-17 23:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by Hansinchina 2 · 1 3

As a mother of 2 I do spank my children as does my husband. As long as its a spank and not a belting to leave them black and blue, its ok. Each family deals with things in their own way and you and your wife must deal with this together. Parenting is team work and you must work together in this. A good spanking never done us any harm as kiddies, but do give your children and hug after and explain what they did to deserve a spank.

2007-01-18 00:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by lisa f 1 · 3 0

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