Last night a friend called upset with me?

Question

She hadnt called me for about a month. I assumed it was due to the holidays. The last time I saw her she had stopped over with her nephew and his Saint Bernard. This dog was about 13 mos old. Her nephew George, was very excited about his dog and wanted my opinion. I could see in his eyes he felt insulted when I said I was not a fan of the mantle coat Saint. I listened closely for a half hour as he bragged about this dog. Never once making a negative statement towards the dog. The truth is it was roach backed and a real POS. (I didnt tell them this) Its entire confirmation was off balance. They left rather aburptly when I asked why the dog hadn't been fixed yet. ( now I think they expected me to allow the dog to breed with my female when she matures) I find out a month later she has been upset with me because I insulted her nephew. Should I have lied? Weren't they asking my opinion? I wasnt rude just factual.

Sorry, but this child is thiry years old. They drove over 9 miles to show me this dog. As I stated, I never once made a negative remark about the dog!!!!! I just didnt gush over it and beg them to let it mate with my female. It was ugly with a full black head and its nose was more like a hounds than a Saint.

WERE DO YOU GET OFF SAYING I INSULTED A KID!!!!!!!He is 30 years old

Answer 1

HOW can people be ***INSULTED*** by the TRUTH???
Are they so weak?? So soft?

What movie was that...Jack Nicholson shouting "You can't HANDLE the truth!!"???
Telling the TRUTH isn't "rude" or "mean". Getting "insulted" by the TRUTH is silly & CHILDISH & DOES *NOT* change that truth.

I've had to *very* look hard at some folks' JUNK-dawg to find ANYTHING "nice" to say. Sometimes,all I can do is say,"NOT what *I* want to see in a dog."
I've gotten to point where I ask them,"Do you ***REALLY**** want to know?? Cuz I WILL tell you."

LYING is just LYING....not being "nice" or "kind".

And,while we're on the subject....DELETING the TRUTH does NOT change it!!

Answer 2

I do not think you should have lied and I do not think candy coating would have been a good idea either because what would you say the day they come to ask you to let their dog breed with your b*tch. Would you do it just to spare their feeling. I do not think so. You did not insult her nephew or their dog you just said you were not a fan of the mantle coat, the comment was not made out of malice and it was solicited. So what they didn't like your opinion, everyone has their preferences it is not a reason to get angry or upset. I think your friend is being a little immature, for one, she waited so long to let you know she was upset, and two, she got angry because you did not get excited about the dog as she expected. I kind of think you could be upset with your friend because her nephew went and bought a dog without your input knowing your passion with the breed. You know how it is people expect others to get as excited as they do about things even if others can see the fault in whatever it is. most people just expect their friends and loved ones to smile and tell them how wonderful it is no matter how they really feel. You could apologize if the friendship means that much to you but I do not think you were wrong.

The movie was A FEW GOOD MEN

Answer 3

Sounds like you know a lot about St's (maybe a breeder if they expected to breed with your dog), and being a responsible breeder and knowledgable about St Bernards, they should have at least considered your opinion.

Sit down with her and tell you that you were simply saying that the dog is not a great specimen and only an irresponsible backyard breeder would use him as a stud. Remember to say that it looks like a great pet dog, and will be a wonderful companion. You are not insulting the dog, just stating that he is not a good canidate for breeding.

Sometimes when people hear negative comments about a dog they have just got, they become very touchy about any negative remarks they hear. Explain your situation and how you approached the dog as a person who saw the specimen and not the pet side at first.

I'm sure your friend will get over it.

Answer 4

Hi!

Most breeder I know look for different thing in a dog that they think the standard mandates. You are a breeder and know what the standards are for saints. If the dog was not up to snuff that is how it is. As a responsible breeder it is your duty to help the breed get better not worse!

I think you did the right thing!! If they did not want the truth then they should not have asked you for it!!!

If she is a true Friend she will realize this and get over it!!

PS thanks for the pic they are gorgeous!!

Answer 5

People of course get really upset when they think that they are being insulted. It seems you know your dog stuff pretty well and if they are talking about breeding with yours simply said you had to say something. The question is how you said it, people who are very knowlegable about certain subjects can come across with a little snottiness to their answers or opinions. You weren't wrong, you shouldn't lie but maybe a little sugar coating on their dog choice wouldn't hurt for the sake of freindship. Just simply say you have other plans for your female and you weren't intending on deciding on her mate just yet. It doesn't hurt to apologize even if your dog analysis was right. tell her the truth it wasn't meant to be an insult and they were asking your opinion. Good luck!! with your friend and your dog!!!

Answer 6

HI
It is sad a lot of people think they should breed their dog just because they have one. No you did right, especially in St. Bernard everything has to be perfect for a healthy liter. I have seen too many St. Bernards put down because of hips, elbow, eyes problems. I would have tried to convience them that it shouldn't be breed harder, I have had a few St. Bernard come through my rescue that wobbled, front end much too lower than the back and one that fell every time it took about 4 steps from a neurological problem and unfortunately had to be put down because 200 lbs no one could take care of him he had to be held to pee. Being factual hurts as much as being rude to people who expect to hear better, the people they bought it from probably gave them high hopes. I think you handled the situation just fine.
Lammy

Answer 7

The truth hurts sometimes. I wouldn't of lied about the dog. You did the right thing. I went down to a friend's kennel about 3 years ago to look at her new pup. I did not say a thing about the pup, but I looked at him, turned my head and walked away. My actions said it all to her. LOL I wasn't trying to be rude either. After seeing this boy now at the age of 3 1/2, I was wrong about my feelings for him. He is rather nice. This same friend helped me decide on a pick from a litter several years ago. I just did not like the color of this one pup at that age, and it honestly was keeping me from looking at balance , movement and structure with her. My friend liked her the best, and that is the pup we kept. She is now a beautiful adult. And, from seeing the rest of the litter as adults, she was the best pick.

Answer 8

i feel for u that u r getting insulted for asking this question. everyone is entitled to their own opinion. no one is expected to love every dog. i mean i do love all animals, all dogs, all everything because i am a crazed animal lover who donates MUCH money to save shelter animals. but every dog is different! i mean i dont think i would necessarily love to go and try to play with a vicious rabid dog, but i still love it!! (from a distance!!)

i think u were totally right in expressing ur opinion on the dog. i mean, they asked u for an opinion, right? u shouldnt need to lie about it at all! im sure they love their dog very much, but that doesnt mean u have to. ur friend has no right to be upset with u at all. if she didnt want any sort of answer from u then she shouldnt have asked the question. and if u had of lied, and she DID ask u to breed with ur female then u would be stuck in a sticky situation trying to explain why u didnt want to!!

i applaud u for having ur own opinion and expresing ur feels in a sensible way!! perhaps u would enjoy my question on backyard breeders? u will find it in my asked questions section!!

hope i helped!! =)

Answer 9

If the friendship means something to you, you could apologized to her about being so blunt with your opinion about their dog. I guess like any proud parent, they think their babies are always the cutest! I personally I don't think you did nothing wrong and it's not right for them to think that just because they have a male and you have a female your dog should mate with theirs.

Answer 10

You didn't do anything wrong that I can see. If those folks got their panties in a twist, it's their problem, not yours. If the dog is ugly, the dog is ugly. If it's not breeding quality, then they should love it anyway and not pass along it's bad traits. They should insure those traits don't get passed along by neutering the poor ugly thing.