Fill in the blank and give the answer: How many___________s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I'll get the ball rolling with a few examples:
1) YUPPIES--2. One to mix martinis, and the other to call an electrician.
2) JEWISH PRINCESSES--2. One to open the Diet Cokes, and the other to call Daddy.
3) LESBIANS--6. One to screw it in, one to feed the cats, and the other four to form a discussion group as to why it was so much more rewarding than being with a man!
4) TRUMP FAMILY MEMBERS--just one, The Donald. He holds it still and waits for the world to revolve around him!
5) JEWISH GRANDMOTHERS--"Oh, who needs a light bulb? I'll just sit here in the dark, ALL ALONE!"
So, now everybody else's turn! Get creative! Best one gets 5 stars and 10 points! Have fun!
2007-01-17 22:16:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw the poor.
* ha ha *..
2007-01-17 22:30:48 · answer #1 · answered by *♥short~sh!t♥* 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Floridians: Don't know for sure, they're still counting.
women with PMS: One. Only ONE!! you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@ HOUSE!
pro-choicers : Two, one to do it and one to assert that the bulb didn't exist before it was lit up.
Mafia hitmen: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
politically correct people: None. "Why should we impose our values on the light bulb ? If it wishes to be a light bulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality."
2007-01-18 06:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by Michele A 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
HAHAHA love em.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb- only two, of course.
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
12 One to hold the bulb, the other 11 to turn him around.
2007-01-18 06:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Psychiatrists ... 1 - but it has to really want to change.
2007-01-18 06:21:11 · answer #4 · answered by C J 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Okay, how's this?
ACLU ATTORNEYS: "Why are you forcing my client to change? Maybe my client doesn't want to change! YOU'RE the one who needs to change, in order to accommodate my client!"
2007-01-18 06:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by baldiebear75 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋