Should I be angry?

Question

Our relatives have 4 small kids, toddlers and babies, and we spent loads on them for Christmas. And spent alot on my aunt and uncle as well. Like 3 bags of gifts each.. Anyways.. We didn't even get a thank you in return, no cards or phone calls. NOTHING. They mooch off everyone in our family and when someone needs help they won't ever return favors. I'm not being greedy but should I be mad that they didn't even thank us, or am I overreacting?

First of all, I'm not upset because the kids didn't say thank you, to the last answer. THE ADULTS SHOULD HAVE ATLEAST SAID THANK YOU. OR ATLEAST CALLED. Don't call me selfish, geez.

Answer 1

why be angry??? was the gift from your heart? with unconditional love? or did u do it for some kind of reward??
ask yourself these questions.
they say there is more happiness in giving than in receiving but you must give from the heart to get that happiness.

Answer 2

I have to say, I hate it when people do nice things for me when I didn't ask for it, and then they are angry because I'm "ungrateful". I am not the kind of person that bother call people to say thank you for the gift after Christmas, even if I have the time. I do care thought, and I am thankful. Also, if you do feel this way you should absolutely not do nothing. If you don't want to talk to them about it, (which is scary and rude, but helps,) you shouldn't spend loads of time and money on them. I don't mean give them crap, but something smaller that you think they'll like. I've never been close to my kin, my aunts and uncles used to give me just some sweets or a board game when I was young, now I don't get nothing.

Answer 3

Some people don't have tact. You could make a comment about how thank you notes are a good thing, but they may not listen to you.

Gifts should be given with out thought of return. Gift giving will not buy you unconditional love. Think of an apple tree. It bears fruit and gives it to anyone that wants it regardless if the person is bad, good or their race or creed.

Are you happy that they are in your life? Did you like seeing their children reat to the presents? Were you financially damaged? If yes to everything, then treasure the memories you have of this past holiday season and move on.

Maybe in the future you don't have to spend as much.

People think differently from you. Very often you have to meet them where they are.

Answer 4

I don't think you are overreacting. It is natural to want some sort of gesture to show gratitude towards you. You went out of your way and I think that deserves a thank you. BUT of course it was Christmas and maybe they were expecting it. Some people have no manners, maybe they were brought up that way. Next time, I would spend not as much so you don't see it as a loss. Or ask them how they like what you got them. Maybe they will remember to say thank you. I actually said thank you to a co-worker for a X-mas gift yesterday. Things slip our minds. If they are not grateful, then just see things for the way they are.

Answer 5

I always had my children write thank you notes!
I think you are hurt and rightfully so.

Next time, send everyone one gift and then in the holiday gifts, include a box of note cards (blank). Some people just have no class. People appreciate what they work for. Donate to a charity or get the family a gift subscription to National Geographic or something. Tons of material things don't bring happiness anyway and show shallow values.

Answer 6

I'm guessing that this wasn't the first year that this has happened. You probably knew a head of time that this would happen again.

But you seem like a giving person. Enjoy the feeling of giving to others. If you don't get any/enough enjoyment out of it, stop doing it--or at least minimize your giving. You know how they will react to gifts. If gratitude is so important to you for you to get angry if you don't receive it, give only to those who will express the things that you want to hear. If seeing their enjoyment of your gifts is more important, let the rest go. They probably won't change. Yes, I feel they were rude, but you won't change their behavior. You can only learn to make choices and handle the situation with grace.

Answer 7

Yes, it is normal to get annoyed since your relatives aren't even sensitive enough to return your favors; however, remember that your relatives are still family so they still do deserve your respect. If you think their "abusive" behavior is getting too much, then just ask other members of your family to have a talk with them, like an open-forum. If this still doesn't work or if you find the idea of open-forum confrontation difficult, then there are times when you just have to be assertive and learn when to say "No". Do remember to still be nice to their kids since their kids haven't got a clue on what's going on in the world of grown-ups, but be firm with the adults.

Answer 8

You should give a gift simply out of the kindness of your heart. Not expecting a thank you or anything back in return. Pray for your relatives and ask God to help them not to be moochers anymore.

Answer 9

Don't waste your time being angry about this situation because it's a waste of your time and energy. I agree that your relatives should thank you for your generosity as long as you aren't giving just to be thanked. If you are truly giving because you want to give then continue to do so or maybe give less. Your relatives are obviously selfish people and you should be nice but don't break your back to help them.

Answer 10

With 4 small kids they probably have little money left over, but there is no excuse for ignorance and a thank you costs nothing.
Cut down on the presents for next year.

Answer 11

You're not overreacting at all. You have a bunch of greedy selfish oafs for relatives. Don't expect courtesy or gratitude from them. I am sorry to hear it but face facts.