my best friends wife??

Question

my best friend lets call him tom left his wife of 10 years...well just recently going thru a bad divorce myself,,, her and i kept each other company. i would come by and get her and we would go out for a beer and let her tell me what a sob he has been to her...she after a yr or so she started telling me (now mind i have never made a move on her never)that she wishes she could meet someone as caring as me...then after awhile of that she would say how about you?? well i didnt know what to say.but i have started having feelings that maybe i would like to get serious,,but we still have a lot of mutual friends,and i fell this mite be akward...what if tom came to visit me and she was there, (very akward) i know he dont deserve her as he has treated her to badly....but i just think the akwardness mite get to me one day plzzzz help... i think i love her,,,,,

Answer 1

It would be awkward but if yall are happy together then go for it.

Answer 2

If you love her and you go for it you may lose your friend as Tom may not take too kindly to you seeing his ex wife. You should be prepared to lose a friend unless he genuinely doesn't care for his ex wife. The lady in question may be feeling lonely and un-loved right now after being in a relationship with Tom for 10 years and then it coming to an end, This ladies life will have changed alot and she maybe thinks that she has feelings for you when in actual fact they may not be as strong as she thinks they are and its just due to her being on the rebound and wanting someone to love and cherish her. You should take some time out from this uneasy situation and look at everything closely and decide if you both do want to be with each other and if it is worth risking a friendship over. All the best to you and whatever you choose I am sure it will be the right decision in the end.

Answer 3

Your friend was a dick, their relationship is over. You haven't touched her though you guys were crying in beers for a year, you are both curious about the sex. Have at it and be done with it. So you can determine if it is serious or curiousity.

A relationship isn't possible unless you are willing to deal with the rumors you two were cheating with each other which is why your exs divorced you. Because that's what everyone will think.

You should also be careful she isn't trying to use you to stick it to "Tom."

Answer 4

So you do know it will be akward..........Looks like you got to decide who is to go.......if you say you want to get serious and that you love her.....you gonna have to let Tom go as a friend so that all of you don't end up in an akward position. If you think that you wanna keep Tom, then don't get involve with his ex.......your choice but you can't have your cake and eat it too.....

Answer 5

Dont think that u love her try to feel that u love and i dont understand that where's ds problem in u both getting together coz she's alone u r alone u both can company each other u need each other and that's important even if the so-called tom comes back one day it should not be a problem to u if u love her

Answer 6

Very awkward! You guys will lose many friends and probably your buddy too. The rumours are probably doing the rounds already. Perhaps give it more time till you guys are very sure of your love for each other. Not worth the risk for a few weeks fling. Talking is always the best option, why not ask your best friend how he would feel if this happened. If it has his blessing your friend group will accept it to.
Good luck.

Answer 7

My friend,

you treading on spillery ground right now and if you don't pay attention you are going to regret it afterwards.

Don't cheat yourself that you love that girl or that she loves you.
It's only that you are two desperate people looking for comfort and you have meet in a this time.

If you really look inside it all the problem was neither with your friend but with his wife.

I tell you for sure even when she met your friend she was thinking that she has met the right guy.

Your case if about to two wounded people who are trying to heal each others pains neglecting thier own.

Good day of healing to you first

Answer 8

You cannot keep Tom as a friend and start a relationship with his ex-wife. You need to make a decision: Whom do you want in your life more? Then end the friendship with the other one.

Answer 9

Dude, you can''t help who you fall in love with. You just have to decide who and what is more important to you. IF you decide to date your best Friends ex I would tell him about it before you do it. IT just might save your friendship with him and get you the love of your life at the same time. This way you have done the right thing regardless of what your friend does and you have a clear conscience to go forward in a relationship with the ex.

Answer 10

A friend in need is a friend indeed. Thus goes the proverb. You need to ask her as to why she left Tom, what she felt the good part and where Tom need to improve. Here you need to become a phylosopher. Change your friend, by constant interraction, advice and prayers, and his wife will go back to him. I bet, she will be not only appreciate your noble gesture, but be ever thankful to you. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 11

It's normal what you are going through. There are a lot of things to consider including what you are willing to risk to be with this lady. Just know that your behaviors will have consequences.