parents help what would you do?

Question

well im 17 ,18 in 2 months 3 years ago my parents got a divorce my mom left my dad was with another man for 2 years i was doing better and getting over it then one day my mom deceided she had a enough and wanted back and my dad said yes i said f no but it didnt matter when she came back she also had 60,00 dollars in debt and to this day we are still in debt and they cant help me pay for collage, ever since she came back my mom tries to control me i cant have a myspace up until 3 months ago i couldnt have a girlfriend when i go hang out with my friends she follows me and has people spy on me, when i go to the store i see her behind me seing where im going she hates my friends and wont letthem come over when my parents got divorced i went to school b4 that i was homeschooled wen she came bk she made me be homeschooled
this year i get 2 go 2 a christian school bc im a senior but i have to pay for it myself im just upset with all this and want to know if i am justified at all and wt 2 do

just to explain more my friends arent a bad influence they took me to church and youth group and they kept me out of trouble and from killing myself, i work my butt off in school so i can get into collage and be a nurse and its not that i wanted a gf they said that i couldnt have one , once i got grounded for having a girl call my cellphone(not a bad girl mrs victorian 4.0 student and my parents scared her away.

Answer 1

You are definitely justified.


And debt, such as your moms, is a MAJOR MAJOR concern for your family and bad show on her discipline and disrespect for herself, your father, and your family. You in no way should have to pay for your own school (at before-college level), that situation is pretty close to child labor you have a right to be educated with parents' financial support you might want to report this problem to child protective services and get ready to apply for a Pell Grant to help you pay for college after you graduate from high school.

I even had one relationship where my live-in girlfriend spent so much of her own money her credit was so bad she could never give her half in credit-related bills and almost got me in legal trouble simply because I was affiliated with her (even though my credit is perfect)...needless to say I had to break up with her for my own safety.


Also, about a (rather blind-sighted) comment another answerer gave, if you study too much and do not work on social life, such as having a girlfriend, you will likely have serious trouble landing a job.
Also, life is a balance... For example, I had well over a 3.6 GPA in my major in college when I graduated. I did not have a life my senior year, just spent all my time studying and refusing to date and go out with friends, for example.
After graduation spent the next year looking for jobs with no luck had several interviews but no successes, but then I took a few months off to chill out, find my special someone, and get back in touch with my friends. My social skills went up, as did my confidence...and, after the next interview, I got a job suitable for my degree level.

You have to have GOOD SOCIAL NETWORKING SKILLS AND GOOD EDUCATION TO GET A GOOD JOB, SIMPLY FOCUSSING ON ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER IS DANGEROUS AND YOUR MOM IS OUT OF BOUNDS BY TELLING YOU NOT TO DATE AND SPYING ON YOUR FRIENDS (WHICH IS, TECHNICALLY, STALKING). You might want to call child protection services about the stalking your mother is doing as well, her behavior is disturbingly similar to that of a person in an abusive relationship (men who do what she's doing often have their wives in women's shelters for safety from them).

I know your mother wants the best of you but, the fact stands, she seriously needs to get her life in order before she starts giving so much input to how you and your father live your lives...and her controlling you rather than politely giving her opinion is more than giving input, it's controlling and somewhat abusive parenting.

Not your fault. Stand tall and ask for help...and if services do not help out you are likely best moving out on your own using your job as support. You might also want to try convincing your dad to move out with you and tell him about what she's doing and saying you will move out by yourself, not because of him, but because you can't take her abuse...and that you would still like to live with him (IE have him move out with you or kick her out) if possible.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I know that it may not feel like it but your mother is protective of you because she loves you and wants the best for you. She knows from experience that mistakes you make now will have a lasting impact on your future. Remember that one thing about life that is constant is that nothing ever stays the same. This phase of your life will pass rather quickly and as an adult you will have the opportunity to create a different relationship with your
mother, one that is defined on your terms.
As far as her spying on you, as long as your always trustworthy your mom will learn to trust you. Be accountable, and always truthful.
There is always a way to pay for college. You can apply for grants or students loans to help. Lots of people go that route.
Hang in there! I know it sucks right now and you feel really frustrated but it will get better. I really believe in the power of forgiveness and it sounds like you may need to work on that with your mom. Everyone needs a second chance. I know I would hate for my life to be defined by my worst mistake.
Give yourself and your mom some time.

Answer 3

Relax a little... you're not alone, alot of teenagers have a strict overprotective parent... I did and it really made me crave my independence... so it made me want to go out there and survive on my own and get away from my parents... it worked out really well having parents like that!!... look on the brighter side, it could be alot worse....just look forward to doing well in school and bettering yourself... the better you do the happier you can make yourself later....

And you can go fill out forms for financial aid for college (FASFA), there is free money and loans out there, but you need to do it before March 2nd (first come first serve). Talk to your college counselor.

Answer 4

rememebr - your mommy wants the best for u. maybe your so called "friends" were a bad influence on u. and who needs a gf at the age of 17? focus, focus on studying, then going to college, otherwise u will live with your parents till the old age. i agree with your mom, i am a mother too. study, do not rebel

Answer 5

I'd be Mad too, have you tried talking to your dad??? Seems to me like she should just be thankful he felt sorry for her and took her back. If all else fails get a job and get emancipated

Answer 6

They're still your parents and people make mistakes.

Best bet is to have a talk with BOTH parents on what your needs are and why you are feeling boxed in.

Answer 7

please study hard and think about a meaning life.don't worry anything about that.