my husband was adopted when he was 3years old, we just recently had a son and he is having MAJOR problems and the doctors all say it may be hereditary and nothing like this has ever happend to my side of the family and we need to find her ASAP... we dont really know how to start looking for her... all the information we have is what hospital he was born... his adoptive mother isnt helping us, because she feels she is his mother and it hurts her... but we SeRiOuSlY need to find out... thank you for your help!
2007-01-17 17:53:56 · 9 answers · asked by tiffany 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he was born in sacremento california! and we live in north carolina, his adoptive mother all she would say is "she was a 13 yr old prostitute and she lived in a foster home too... she had you and your brother but social services took you and him from her because she kept trying to sneak out... your dad think she may be dead from HIV but i know her name i have it at the house and she signed your birth certificate... but i think we should just consider it hereditary" i dont like that answer and she KNOWS her name she just wont give it... thanks again for your help!
2007-01-17 18:26:27 · update #1
Damn this sounds serious. And I'm sorry to be rude, but how bitchy can you be? I can't believe his adoptive mother won't even help when it's "HER" grandson that needs the help that she can give but isn't willing!! Well, Good luck to you, I went to a site and found the following information:
"Any adoption agency would be able to give the information you need. I was told, from an adoptee who works at Pact (an adoption facililtator located in Richmond), that it is relatively easy to locate birthparents. Their number:510 243-9460. Anyone there can help you. They are all wonderfule people. Good luck"
"Searching for bilogical parents: In response to person looking for resources to locate biological parents---This is such a difficult and painful area for many to delve into. I worked in the adoption field for many years and I usually referred people to Bastard Nation at www.bastards.org. Apparently, they can be quite helpful in this area. You may also want to contact NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children) at www.nacac.org. I found them to be very helpful to many of the families I worked with. Best wishes on your search. Make sure you have a lot of support around you."
**I didn't type the above information** But below is the site I got it off of. Good luck to you guys, and especially to your struggling son. Hope this helps somewhat.
2007-01-17 18:01:37 · answer #1 · answered by natalie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was told that I was adopted on my tenth birthday. I did not find out any facts until I was 25 and about to get married. My parents friends in Minnesota were actually my aunt and uncle. Through them I found out about my "known" birth family at that time. I eventually went back and met my birth mother, sister, half-sister and two half brothers. They told me that there were two older half-sisters that wanted nothing to do with the family. 7 years later those two found me. And since then I've found a full brother and two more half siblings. Since my adopted parents past away in the 80's and my adopted sister disappeared it has been wonderful to not be alone. It is not a perfect situation as some in this 'new' family don't all get along, but at least it was a great time when all ten siblings and mother all get together in a huge one time only family reunion. Of the three that kids that my birth mother kept I felt that they had a relationship that I missed out on but they were jealous of me because I grew up in a middle class family that never went without like they had. I don't hate any of them because we all had good and bad. Because of my experiences I say go forth and find your brothers. If they know that they are adopted all the better. As for your parents - their not wanting any part of this could be from pain and regret about the way things happened. Do this for yourself and don't involve them if you can and maybe they will come to accept what you are doing.
2016-05-24 02:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be able to access his own records since he is an adult. You can start with the hospital that he was born in. What county is it in? I would check with county records (same place you would get a marriage license). Bring your birth certificate and social security card and a picture ID. You can also check with the Social Security Administration. If either of these can find the adoption agency, or the mother's name, great. I would check local phone listings, and then go onto Yahoo "people search" and try searching her name there. If you can't find her name, try placing an ad in the greater area paper, explaining your dilemma and asking for help from anyone out there. Someone was sure to know the family. You can also try a private investigator, there are PI companies that specialize in finding lost relatives.
I wish you the best. and PS his mom needs to stop worrying about her feelings and start worrying about her grandson's health.
2007-01-17 18:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by slaughter114 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I doubt if his Adoptive Mom was given any information about the birth Mother. Try looking for birth announcements in the archives of the local paper. These are usually on file at the offices. If you luck out, you may only find a few on THAT day who had a baby boy at THAT hospital. Hospitals and State Agencies are not cooperative in sharing any kind of records, but the birth announcement could give you a name or list of names. I hope this helps. Keep in mind they may be dead and you'll never find out.
2007-01-17 18:05:37 · answer #4 · answered by James M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hope you will keep trying to convince the adoptive mother to help you. If it hurts her to help him find his biological mother because she cares that much about him then she should care just as much as her grandson to want to help you find her. No matter what the cost that little boy deserves a chance. I wish I knew another way of getting information. I'm sure you're going to need to do a lot of digging around and I hope you find her. Best of luck to you all.
2007-01-17 18:02:31 · answer #5 · answered by mda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my. I feel so bad for you. I don't know have an answer to your question but I wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you. But I do have this to say
Your mother-in-law, your husband's adoptive Mother is being extremely selfish. He's not trying to find his biological Mother to necessarily have a relationship, but to help his son-her grandson and save his life.
2007-01-17 18:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by TommyGirl869 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Government departments usually register births, deaths, and marriages in most western countries. If you look up some of your governmets departments you may find they can do traces on the birth family of your hubby.
2007-01-17 17:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
contact a private investigator...Talk to his adoptive mother again and tell her how important this is, I mean this is involving a sick child she needs to grow the heck up and give you guy's the info. If not maybe another relative of hers can help you...
2007-01-17 17:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by ?only?me? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
National adoption registry.
2007-01-17 17:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you can find the family from the internet, there are too much websites that offer that.
(but with payment).
goodluck!
2007-01-17 18:07:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋