Do you ever feel sad about your family?

Question

My mother is so religous... I love her to bits, but can't trust her cause she thinks I'm going to hell... as does my aunt and all that side.

I love my dad, but he is emotionally closed.

My brother has relatively little to do with family. When I do see him he tries to be the fun guy by making fun of me and roughing my kids up, then I am the witch when I tell him to be more gentle.

I really want a close family.. I miss my mom, but I can't trust her with my secrets anymore. I am expecting my second child and so far my own family is really close.. and I hope that lasts.. that I am doing ok as a mom... that they will want more to do with family then my brother does...

Do you ever wish you had a closer family that could accept you? A close relationship with your only sibling? Sometimes it makes me sad... like right now.. I am kinda meloncoly about it all.

Answer 1

the sadness has disappeared now after 30 odd years but there were times when i wished i had a real family with a supportive mother and father and a brother i could talk too.
now neither one of us sees the other.
Divorce is such a dirty word and it ends up effecting the whole family kids and all.

Answer 2

I think that is normal for any family with disfunction. It is hard to have family that believe in only part of the scriptures....the scriptures say you will be judged as ye judge others. It is not our position as christians to judge other human beings but love and teach by our example...telling someone they are going to hell has never changed a persons life that I know. Usually just shuts a person down. I am the only member of my family with any religious faith, I am always outed and told I am uptight because I don't drink, smoke, and try to live a morally clean life. My family teases me asking well are you allowed to do this or that. My parents are divorced from the time I was a toddler, I have a older brother who is totally disfunctional and has not had anything to do with my real mom other than for a period of time ( 4 months maybe in over 30 years) he sucked her for about $15,000, a twin that has nothing to do with my real mother at all and considers her as dead. I on the other hand have a relationship with all them and just wish I didn't have to pick and choose, that I didn't have to hold back on sharing aspects of my life with this one or that one. Then I have a half sister who is my dad and step-mom's together and she is also very disfunctional. Growing up all we all did was fight, and Dad was seemingly oblivious to it all or just didn't care it seemed then if he did get involved it was only to go up against you without talking to you to find out what you are feeling or thinking. I left home at 16 and supported myself, for a period of about 2 years they disowned me, with time and some understanding and putting the past in the past healing began to take place, but I still feel very much like the outsider with them at times.

It is best that you learn the limits with your parents, mine are great now that I have learned them, and the perimeters of where our relationship can and cannot go. Sometimes parents have a hard time realizing that their baby is a grown adult now and aren't looking for so much of the parenting aspect as we are looking to them as a friend. Sometime if it is possible sit down and talk with them about it, about how you feel, and what it is that you would llike to have in the relationship. I know it has help my relationships with my family.

I think you may feel like that more so too being that you are pregnant, I understand that makes a woman a little more emotionally sensitive and I know I would be thinking of my child and and the family dynamics as well. Keep your head up, sounds like you are fine. You are describing nothing that sounds unusual, but I understand your feelings of wanting to be closer and occassional feelings of sadness I feel them at times as well.

Answer 3

I have a totally dysfunctional family and always wish I was part of a close family. I have created my own "family" out of my close friends, and although it is not exactly the same, I find I have very close relationships with my friends and that more than makes up for the dysfunctionality of my family (who I cannot even bear to visit anymore---they make me so miserable).

Answer 4

oh, yeah. choose it replace into longer, lol. the terrific sturdy books, in spite of the undeniable fact that, circulate on purely long sufficient, like Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. i actually love the Catcher interior the Rye. that's actual fairly short, yet there is a lot hidden stuff, that it takes approximately 3 reads to actual get all of it, so once you're executed the 1st time, that's not truly over, and that's humorous sufficient to confirm lower back very shortly.

Answer 5

yes i do but i made them closer and more understand because of my family so i have to do it. You should do too. Everyone wants to have their own close families so and so do i.Family is the best important factor to guide the younger generation in the future.You are adult so you can decide by yourself such as: job,family,friend,money,personal and love.You can't say that with your mother who gives a birth to you and feed.She is your mother so you have to see her eyes and share with her you should contact her so both can understand togather and you do it with your father after talking to both i mean your parents you make them closer and more understand good luck to you

Answer 6

maybe it is time that you find out who you are, apart from your family...i know what it is like to have a close family and also what it is like when something devastes that closeness...it hurts like hell..but i believe all things happen for a reason...we often get to much of our own identity from our family and we have to discover who we are, apart from them...that is why i believe God allows these situations...I am a Christian..and i don't know what your mom is saying to you...but she should be forgiving and thoughful of your feelings...you are grown and you must work out your own relationship with God..sounds like she is trying to push you into the way she believes...i have a wild past...i know how it is..keep your head up and i will pray for you...God bless you and your family

Answer 7

yes, completely understand, wish that they could just accept you for you, but when i have needed them most they have tried to pull through and support me and thats all i can really ask of them.