Please tell me your favorite joke...all of you...?

Question

My dad went to jail for a year. He wants me to send him a letter every week. I wanna send him a funny joke with each letter. Please send me the funniest joke you know. Nothing too disgusting or jail related...he's my dad. As long as it has nothing to do with sex there are no other boundaries. Thank y ou.

my fav. will get 10pts for best answer

Answer 1

A snowman turned to another snowman and asked:

"Do you smell carrots?"

Answer 2

I went over Neo The One http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-5bulsd4hf... and this is the joke that I think kicks. Oh, there are more great jokes there but I just loved this one. Check them all ou. I can asure you that your dad will love them. And do please write to your dad weekly.

Here it is...

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy trying to press the doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small, and the doorbell is placed at normal adult height, & the little fellow just can't reach.
After watching the boy's sorry efforts for some time, the priest walks up behind the little fellow and places one hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over the boy and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks,
"And now what, my little man?"

To which the little guy replies, "Now we run like Hell!"

Answer 3

1.
Son to father: Dad you are very lucky.
Father: Why?
Son: This year you don't have to purchase new books as I'm in the same class.

2.
Teacher: Why is Sunday the strongest day?
Student: Because all others are week days.

3.
Tom: My father always whistle when he works.
Harry: He must be a happy man.
Tom: He's a traffic policeman.

4.
Nurse: May I take your pulse?
Patient: Why, don't you have your own?

5.
Son: Dad, a crab bit my toe.
Father: Which one?
Son: I don't know, all crabs look alike to me..

6.
Teacher: How many feet are there in a yard?
Student: It depends on how many people are standing in it.

Answer 4

This police officer was waking his beat and heard this little boy "Jonny" cursing up a storm while pulling his wagon. Well this goes on for about 15 minutes and the officer walks up to Jonny and asks him "Do you know God can hear every curse word you say and is everywhere you are??" to which Jonny replies "everywhere?" and the officer says "yes everywhere" and then Jonny says" even in the back of my wagon?" and the officer says" yes even in the back of your wagon son" to which Jonny replies "tell him to get off his dead ash and help push" ;-p

Answer 5

How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?

You shine a flashlight in her ear.

How do you drive a blonde mad?

Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Answer 6

I have a few pirate jokes... kinda cheesy but hey, it got a couple of laughs

What do pirates smoke?

Seaweed and cigarrrrrs


What do granny pirates use to knit?

Yarrrrrn


And another....

Why shouldn't you upset a mailman?

He'll go postal on you

Answer 7

it's kind of a riddle..it goes like his "i have five hands, five five fingures, and fifty four leg what am i?

ans: a liar

to me thats the funniest joke..

Answer 8

I got 39 Jokes on my 360. Take any one you want.
Have a nice day
Neo

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-5BULsD4hfq1bm1404fg-;_ylt=AqT3jNX3R7Y34lWh6ssMmWSqAOJ3?cq=1

Answer 9

Here's one.
What were Tarzan's last words?

Who greased that viiiiiiiiine.

Answer 10

2 sardarjis playing chess !!