i have been dating a guy for just over a year. about five years ago he dated a girl who broke his heart - she cheated on him. for a long time they didn't talk, but now they occasionally chat and catch up. he says i have nothing to worry about. is this true? can you be friends with an ex or is there something more sinister going on?
2007-01-17 17:05:25 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sinister sista keep an eye on him
2007-01-17 17:08:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Id say your first instinct is usually for a reason. Reading your question definitely would put me on the questionable!
Yes, you can be friends with an ex but usually the terms would of been that they were best friends before being an item, at which time they decided it wasn't working as a relationship. But to be on a break up and then hang out again, the ex may have had a taste of her own medicine, but thats just an assumption. If you trust the person then let it play itself out and hope that your guy knows better, but if not then just move on. Life is much too short to spend waiting and hurting over one person. good luck
2007-01-18 01:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by manny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he be friends with an EX girlfriend who broke his heart...i think there is something to worry about!!! As if she wants him back and she is sorry for doing whatever she did. That just doesn't seem normal. I mean what reason does he have for seeing her anyways now...he is done with her, broke up!!! He has you, he should be with you not his ex who cheated on him. Something seems wrong with this picture.
Good luck and I hope you do not get hurt in the middle of this. And I really hope nothing is going on between them.
2007-01-18 01:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Uzlu2919 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are situations where it could be okay. Do they talk when you are around? Do you know her? Does she have a seperate love life and does he talk about her with you? Depending on your feelings about it. He should be okay with not keeping in touch with her if that is what you want but if you are not the type to show him that you aren't very sure about the whole deal, then stick with it and try to read into his feelings about it more. He could still have feelings for her but if he has been with you over a year and LOVES you maybe there is no need to worry. Not all guys are cheaters! There are still some that are loving and honest. So a friendship is one thing as long as you KNOW he will not act on it.
2007-01-18 01:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by jaci2009 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is perfectly possible to have a platonic relationship with an ex. Just make sure the relationship between the two of you is going well, and try not to be jealous. If he's quiet about what happens between the two of them(that doesn't mean you can pry), that may be a bad sign. Be confident that the ex is not looking for love. If you really feel bad about it, try having a kind heart to heart about your fears with either of them, but make sure you aren't being offensive or accusatory.
2007-01-18 01:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by Hannah Jean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love could not live when there's no trust and vice-versa. If you trust your boyfriend and if you are certain of his love towards you then allow him to be a friend with his ex again. Tell your boyfriend that you trusted him...but it's his ex that you don't trust. So ask him if he really cares for your relationship to last because if he does then he will avoid doing things that will endanger it. Give him an ultimatum and if he still continue then I guess...you don't deserve to have a guy like him...you deserve someone better. Wake up...and move on!!!
2007-01-18 01:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by dimma59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if u trust ur boyf then u have nothing to worry about. I think a girl who lets her boyf c his exes is secure with there relationship, if u begin to demend or ur boyf not c his ex or question it, he will begin to question wether or not u trust him or the relationship in the end it could cause problems within the relationship. You should be happy ur boyf is mature and nice enough to still be friends with exes.
2007-01-18 01:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is going to convince me that you can still be friends and chat with your ex. I believe you can be friendly, but its better to just not hang out, chat, etc. He says you have nothing to worry about but if he cared for you he would recognize that you do worry and he wouldnt even have a care in the world to talk to his ex.
2007-01-18 01:10:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him exactly how you feel. If he is a good man, he will understand and respect your feelings.
Personally, I loath EX's. I am one, most of us are, and I like to catch up with my ex from time to time. If I catch him on MSN I'll ask how his family is or vice-versa - it ends there, I see no problem with that.
However sneaking off for secret meetings to 'catch up', THIS I have a problem with.
If your boyfriend is always honest with you, then trust him. But if he's secretive and hides stuff from you, then I understand your suspicion.
2007-01-18 01:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not over her. Why else would you try to be friends with someone who hurts you. Maybe he wants to see if he can get together with her after he breaks up with you. I would ask him to stop, tell him you just are not comfortable with this situation and if he cares for you he will understand--he doesn't want you to go through what he did with the ex, right?
2007-01-18 01:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by XOXOXOXO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a strange and sick situation since he is in a relationship with you. If he were single, no problem, but he is not and his choice shows you where his loyalty is. He obviously doesn't think about the damage it does to you and the relationship he is in. Sounds like inmaturity to me (on his behalf). You should find a guy that really likes you and that wouldn't think of hurting you this way. There are boundries to compromising ....
2007-01-18 01:10:22 · answer #11 · answered by daffodil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋