Trying really hard not to HATE my ex....just want to move on with life and feel positive....any help???

Question

I just got dumped, well it has been an onagain offagain relationship for a while....anyway, I had his baby, she is 5 months old now....but since I won't let him get his way because he doesn't seem committed, he just told me he wants nothing more to do with me and wants to date other women. I feel hurt by this, yet I know it's gotta be for the best?!! Someone give me some advice please ....

Answer 1

It makes me sad when I see someone so emotionally immature raising a child, or at least attempting to.

Answer 2

If he is so easily willing to walk away form his on child then he isn't ready for any adult relationship. He hasn't grown up yet and wants to have fun and go out and meander with other girls. Well, don't worry for a minute that it's best for you and our baby. Guys don't like to be pressured in to anything. They have to be willing to want what is there and it sounds like he just wants to live his life freely without responsibility. Years from now he might grow up...maybe not. Does he plan on being any kind of a father at all to the child? I hope he would at least make some kind of effort. Even if the two of you can't make the relationship work , then the least he can do is still be a parent.....but only if he shows he can really do it. Let him go and date these women, but don't let your child be subjected to any of it. You need to do something about the whole parent issue and what your plans are for custody. If he is going to be or not a part of your child's life then get something documented and make sure that the child is provided for. Either way it will make things easier as time goes on. Being a parent isn't easy, but the most wonderful gift you could ever have is a child, so cherish your baby with all your heart and make a wonderful home for the both of you.

Answer 3

I can relate to the fact that my life is so uneventfula nd I don't have friends and I've just finished high school and it was the best feeling to go to graduation and getting your diploma and all that and I thought I would have a brilliant summer after graduation but would leave with nothing, except turning nineteen and going to different gay pride festival around the state. But now I'm not in college I'm suppose to go to college in the spring but know that will never happen I don't have a job,drivers license, a car, friends to talk to basically I have no life. But in the end I end up praying to God that things will get better from here on and then I'll know I'll be okay despite that everything isn't looking good and thats what I think you should do unless your not a Christian or go to church. Try to look at the fact that tomorrow things will go good from here and know that tomorrow will be another day.

Answer 4

My first advice would be to try your all to save the relationship... why wont you let him have his way? what way are you talking about? You shouldn't let your pride mess up your relationship. There's gotta be a way to fix it.. and i know you care cause you said it hurt you. BUT if you really have nothing else left in you and you fully think is for the best... then just let go of any emotion you have for him.. any feeling.. any memory and with a little bit of time and forgiveness.. he'll be out of your heart... but you gotta forgive and forget all the things that you thought he did were bad.. otherwise he will be in you forever. Good Luck :)

Answer 5

Just get a move on with life, and quit dwelling in his thing.. ya know? Believe me, you probably asked for it, but there are other men available out there. Having a child you would need to consider the child's welfare, because he can come back and try to take the child away from you if he wants to, because you are dating (exposing) men in front of your child.

Take care of yourself and your child. A lot of times, people feel more for the child, because they are helpless and the two adults (parents) failed to be good parents for him/her. The child didn't ask to be born into a messy family like that.

Do something for you and your child..constructive.. get a good job or go back to school. Think of you twos future not your next lay.

Answer 6

The moment you knew there is no future with him you should not have stuck around. I didn't bother telling my BF I was pregnant when it happened to me. You'll realize your better off someday. Do everything you can to raise your child without the involvement of the father, considering he doesn't care, move away or simply don't bother having any contact with him. Hate will not do you any good, keep yourself busy with something useful. It's easier said than done but once you get use to it, things will get better and eventually you'll find happiness.

Answer 7

Move on.....But get him for child support first. Let him date other women. But don't let him forget he has a baby. I have been through all this bull crap and it will take some time to get over him you will be alright though
**Don't listen to ignoramus below me. He doesn't know what he is talking about. I am a single mother of two beautiful boys**

Answer 8

Don't be bitter that will only hurt you. Try to look at it as a blessing. He is obviously a huge A** hole. Just remember that you deserve much better, not some dead beat dad that wants to desert you and his child. Keep your head held high and you will find some great guy that will recognize how great you are and he will love you and your baby.

Answer 9

You have a lovely daughter, focus on her and try to think about the wonderful gift he helped you create. He may be a lousy mate, and you sound like you're better off without him, but he did do one thing right, right ;)

Pity the other women he's about to hurt and manipulate with his juvenile attitude and count yourself well out of it.

Congrats on the birth of your daughter!

Answer 10

I notice there are a lot more single mothers out there with daughters, it's because men want a son, a "mini-me" , and through no fault of your own he feels you "failed" him. And having a child doesn't make a man who doesn't really love you, love you. You just have to accept that. But never think your child is a mistake. Just be glad you are rid of him. And please don't unload "ex" baggage on any man you date or you are apt to scare him off. He let you down, he FAILED you, that is NOT your fault, it was HIS mistake, and you have every right to be angry with him, make a voodoo doll if it helps, but you have to move on and just worry about your daughter and yourself. You'll find someone else, make sure he is worthy of you.

Answer 11

That is sad but time to move on, huh? Like Dr. Laura would say what part of he doesn't want to be with u dont u understand? Find a man who will love you and your baby. Then he'll see that and regret, revenge is SWEET!