Why is it so hard for men to commit to a serious relationship?

Question

So many men say they want a "good" woman who will be their partner in a relationship. Not a woman who is just looking for a man w/money to take care of her. A woman who is honest, faithful, loving & trust worthy. But then when a man actually finds a woman like this, it's like all of a sudden he's commitment phobic???

Answer 1

I can't speak for all men, just myself.

What I can tell you is that sometimes, we get afraid of the future. It's more of a comfort thing than anything. We get used to living our lives a certain way, and then suddenly a good woman comes along, one that we envision spending the rest of our lives with.

But along the way, at one point, our head comes out of the fog that it's in and we tend to panic. We panic because things are going to be different and that we're going to have to share our lives with someone else.

It's especially apparent with men who haven't been married before. What you see is a single dude who's made a lifestyle of going out with his buddies and cavorting until all hours of the night, and then all of a sudden, he's got what he perceives as a nagging ball-and-chain (as modern society tends to put it) telling him he can't do that anymore. So he gets scared.

It's a lot less apparent in guys like myself, who have been married before and are more willing to settle down. We know the advantages of being with someone, and having that emotional anchor, so we're a lot more likely to commit and a lot less likely to back out of it at the last moment.

My advice is to keep playing the field. Eventually, you'll find a man who wants what you have to offer and won't be afraid of it. Even if he does start to panic, be sure to reassure him that you love him no matter what. It sounds kinda sissified, I know, but most of us long to hear it. I know I would have.

Answer 2

I think your statement is very general and broad based. Men who are truly ready are not commitment-phobes-and commitment phobes are generally not the type of men who make this type of statement. The other thing is that even if two people meet and both are "ready", there still has to be a level of attraction, chemistry, and most importantly, compatibility. So to summarize, a woman might be "honest, faithful, loving & trust worthy", but if there is no compatibility, then having those qualities is a moot point.

Answer 3

That's not true at all. You're overgeneralizing.

But I need some more information to answer your question accurately.

Are you really not looking for a man with money to pay your bills? Are you really honest, faithful, loving and trustworthy?

If you are, then maybe the problem is the men you are selecting.

Maybe you're going after guys who want a golddigger, so they can control her economically. Or maybe these guys want a dishonest, unfaithful, unloving and untrustworthy woman, because they're dishonest, unfaithful, unloving and untrustworthy men.

That might be the problem you're experiencing.

Answer 4

Because they are only human. I can honestly tell you, I have commitment issues....I'm sorry, but why have one penis when you can have 20. I understand what most men are going through when the commitment walls start to close in on them. It is unfair to say its just men...but men do have more problems dealing with commitment than we do. That's just how SOME of them are. There are those out there who can commit like nobodies business...so ease up on the guys, cuz we girls can be that way sometimes.

Answer 5

Pretty much the same can be said about woman. I think if someone is not 100% sure and in love or have been hurt too many times in the past then they become skeptical and might be thinking that maybe, just maybe there is someone better out there for me.

Answer 6

What ANY people say they want in some kind of imaginary question often bears no semblence to what they end up thinking they can get in reality, and it does not take into account other things like self-esteem, trust, character, etc.

The bottom line is that people get in relatioships way over their heads, get hurt, and bring unwanted children into the world where they get hurt as well, all because they do not think.

Thinking is overrated in this subject anyway, because it is so easy to be tempted of fool yourself ... man or woman.

The best course of actions is to listen to the wisdom of things like religion, though I am not religious, religion and morals were around to help people develop habits that would save them lots of pain from situations like this, because we all know people are fallible.

People will commit and be good, but it does not happen without care, thought and support from your friends and family.

Answer 7

If you say she is in "commitment phobia", she may think that you are rushing the relationship a bit too fast. First they got to know a lot more about you and for you to give her the funnest night she will never forget.

Answer 8

Not all guys are the same, but unfortunately most are. It depends on their age and their friends as well, they may stil think they wanna play around and if their mates are single then chances are they wil be influenced by them. Ya need to stop lookin for love cause its when ya stop looking that it finds you...

Answer 9

What frightens us guys is the fact that this person is supposed to be the last sexual partner for the rest of our lives. Scary when there is so much variety out there. We were designed by nature to hunt and chase for sex!!!!

Answer 10

i tell you why... its cos they have an anchor tied to their waist, and as soon as they come near the right girl they drop it. it gets trapped, and buy the time they figure out how to loosen it, the girl has been snapped up by some other guy, whom has already learned his lesson, and got rid of the anchor before he met her!

oh yeah most men only learn how to loosen the anchor after they have lost a few women and they learn if better if the gal is in their face all the time...

who knows... lol...

come guy help us out... tell us...