okay so ive been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks now.... weve never discussed if we were just "us" or if we are able to see other ppl.... how do i ask him without him thinking im a retard
2007-01-17 15:49:29 · 14 answers · asked by bilinda_82 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would just be honest with him. Tell him that you don't know where you guys stand in the relationship. Tell him you aren't trying to pressure him but its something that has been on your mind. If he thinks you are a retard for asking that he isn't worth your time!
2007-01-17 15:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would not ask the guy directly (IE saying "do you want to date me exclusively?"), though that would come across as wanting the relationship to be about pressure and obligation rather than fun.
However, even though, it will likely seem awkward to ask about his "potential girlfriends" you can ask about his friends or even what he likes about certain girls.
That way if he says "are you trying to say you want me to move on to someone else?", you can say "no" or "well I know I think this other guy is cute along with you" depending on your opinion. Or if he says something like "No I just have eyes for you why do you ask?" you can say "Because I agree and, now that I know you feel the same way, I want to date you exclusively" or "well we have a problem then since I like you but also have eyes for another guy, is this ok with you or do I need to stay away from this(or these) guy(s) if I want to be with you?"
This way you can get the info you need without making the situation feel as dramatic as asking directly.
Also, if you really want this guy in an exclusive relationship, just be a great girlfriend, be good with all the physical stuff (and do exciting things like romance in surprising places and on the spur of the moment) but, on the other hand, be the only girl he knows, friends or otherwise, who goes the extra-mile to also be a part of his "guy-ish activities" and gets in with him on projects (in a band together, writing poetry together, etc.). He'll likely pop the question himself or drop hints by doing things like blowing off other girls to have lots of time to be with you.
Just don't make it dramatic and make sure you both have fun, once it stops being fun and starts being more like a negotiation/business you are closer to a "bad marriage" (exclusive, but bad) instead of a good relationship (good and likely exclusive in the long-run). So enjoy yourselves!
2007-01-17 15:59:09 · answer #2 · answered by M S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait to care until I knew the guy was able to be trusted. If you ask him right now, how do you know he is telling you the truth? I am not sure how old you are, but questions like these are usually asked by younger people who are inexperienced.
Be careful of you can get emotionally hurt. Do not just expect that people will tell you truth, and sometimes people do not know the truth, but will tell you what you want to hear to be with you without a lot of complications, if you know what I am trying to say.
2007-01-17 15:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by themountainviewguy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he likes you, he will NOT think you're retarded for asking that, he'll want you to. You should just casually ask him if he's seeing anybody else, and if you feel it's necessary, make it seem like you need to know for your own sake, as if you have other guys in the wings (that's a little gamey, though). It's an ego boost for anyone to feel wanted, so I would just bring it up without much fuss so he won't feel smothered and will only feel flattered. If you ask him, he'll probably return the question (which, quite possibly, he's been waiting to ask you, too).
2007-01-17 15:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by BB Gun 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want him to be the "take charge" guy, then it's all on him to bring that up. Don't let too much time go by tho. If you're really wondering, then just ask him. Honestly, it won't be that big of a deal. If a girl asked me that after 2 weeks, I'd say "us". Unless...you're wondering because YOU want to see other people...Not trying to push buttons, but have to cover all my bases. Simply put, just ask him and I promise he won't think you're a retard...peace!
2007-01-17 15:56:02 · answer #5 · answered by biggenius0891 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think this is a really good question! Someone has to say something, communicate, because if other offers come up and if the two of u aren't talking or communicating, how r u suppose to know?
2007-01-17 15:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by laura k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just confront him. ask him. he wont think you are a retard. you have the right to know and im sure he wouldnt want you thinking the wrong thing about yalls relationship.
2007-01-17 15:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just ask him if you guys are exclusive or not, or else you won't know. if you don't want him to think you're retarded, just play it off and say u was just curious cuz there's someone else u wanna date or something..u decide
2007-01-17 15:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
doesn't matter what he wants???
up to you... if you just want to see him then just see him... if you want to see others then do that... depends how much you like him etc...
and if you feel you should tell him you wanna see others that would be a good idea...
i personally would see one guy at a time and see how it goes... but thats me lol...
2007-01-17 15:57:56 · answer #9 · answered by redstar_net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask him yet. It's too soon. You could ruin things. Be patient. Time will tell if you should be exclusive.
2007-01-17 15:56:16 · answer #10 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋