2007-01-17 15:21:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ok here's a cheesy one...In Las Vegas there's more Catholic Churches than Casino's and the people who r gambling give the Monks the chips for them to count. These r called Chipmonks...
I hope this made u laugh! Plz choose me 4 the best answer!
2007-01-17 15:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by teacherspet866 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think about this...
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on thosel ittle bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
OK... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags," and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," then what does that make
the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
A. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
B. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith.
C. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS
2007-01-17 16:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Midnight Butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a chicken and a horse playing together in a barn yard.
Suddenly the horse falls into a pit. He yells to the chicken, "Go get the farmer, save me, save me!!!" The chicken goes looking for the farmer
but can't find him. So he gets the farmer's BMW and drives it over to the mud pit, lassos the horse, ties it to the car and pulls him out. The horse says, "Thank you, Thank you, I owe you my life..."
Then a couple days later they're playing again and this time the chicken falls into the mud pit and the chicken says, "Help me Help me!!! Go get the farmer!!!" So the horse says, "No No No, I think I can get you." The horse stretches across the mud pit and tells the chicken, "Grab onto my d*ck ." The chicken grabs on, the horse stretches back, and the horse saves the chickens' life.
So whats the moral of the story???
If you have a d*ck the size of a horse then you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks...
lol.. it was so funny to me..
2007-01-17 15:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When asked by their host if she would like another drink,
the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said,
"No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it;
after two drinks ...anyone can!"
----
Also if you want to laugh with kids check the link below of youtube, I am sure that will make you laugh!
2007-01-17 15:35:47 · answer #4 · answered by xanthus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guy went to the doctor and said to the doctor "I'm not feling well, Im always forgetting everything that happens"
Dr: So when did this start to happen?
Guy:What are you talking about?
2007-01-17 17:01:34 · answer #5 · answered by SNIPER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a cat and a ferret mated, what would the offspring be called? A fat? a carrot? makes you think.
2007-01-17 16:07:59 · answer #6 · answered by pianogal73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in each ear and peas stuck up his nostrils
he says "doc, I don't feel well"
Doc says "you're not eating right"
2007-01-17 15:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by redsoxfan11x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st Guy: A friend of mine just lost 300 lbs of ugly fat!
2nd Guy: Really? How'd he do it?
1st Guy: He divorced his wife.
2007-01-17 15:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by scourgeoftheleft 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
2007-01-17 15:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by andy in greece 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you give a lemon an orgasm?
Tickle its citrus!!!
2007-01-17 15:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by pixiebit@verizon.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋