How should one properly accomodate the disabled?

Question

I dislike making them feel different by asking if they need help, but I don't want to leave them to their own devices if they truly need help. How does one treat them so they'll feel comfortable?

Answer 1

Just tell the person to not hesitate to let you know if they need anything.

Answer 2

I have cerebral palsy and before I lost a lot of weight I had to use a cane and if I were shopping I used a wheel chair. I am also a 44 yr old woman. There are more times that I would have loved an offer of help then when someone actually offered. Now that I am healthier I still need help from time to time. just not as often. The above person is correct. disabled people can be self reliant and like to do what they are capable of doing when they can. so if you offer and they say no thank you dont feel rejected or upset. Sometimes people who have limitations try to do at least as much as they can by themselves. Just say "excuse me may I help you with something?" Of course I am also short so I need help often.

It is just polite if you see someone having difficulty ( Handy caped or not ).to offer assistance. There are only 2 ways they can take an offer Yes or No. If they get offended then they have an issue they need to work on. There is nothing wrong offering help to another human being unless you do it in a way that is rude or demeaning.

Answer 3

I think the best thing to do is use common sense. If you can see that the person is coming up to something that might prove difficult, you can always ask. "Do you need a push?" "Could I reach that for you?" and so forth. They are free to say, "Thanks, I got it." This is really respectful behavior that we should hopefully be showing to anyone; it's just that the things that disabled people might be help with are different from the things that people without disabilities might need help with. As long as your offer of help is done out of respect and a desire to make another human being's life easier, rather than a sense of pity or "walking on eggshells" around the person, I think that most disabled people will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

My mom had knee surgery about a year ago, and she has used the electric carts at the grocery store to do her shopping because she couldn't walk for long distances. She told me about one experience where, while she was riding the cart, a man looked her in the eye and wished her a good evening. She said that made her feel really good and she wanted to do that from now on with people who were in a similar situation.

Answer 4

If I see someone with a lot of packages in their arms I'll offer (or do something) to help, so when I offer someone who may be disabled to help I don't see it as "because they're disabled". I see it as "because if I think someone could use some help I offer".

I've come to reason out that I offer to help because that's what I'd do if the person didn't have a disability, so for me, offering to help is actually treating the person as I would treat anyone else (rather than NOT offering simply BECAUSE the person is disabled and I may be afraid of offending them).

That's my reasoning. I'm sure I've offended the occasional disabled person (although I more often meet elderly people who are having trouble than, say, people in wheelchairs). I tend to leave people in wheelchairs to their own devices because I know, for the most part, they have their ways of managing.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. As someone else said, its a case by case thing.

Answer 5

most often people who have to deal with being disabled have no problem asking for help if they need it. Most that I know are pretty independent. The thing that bothers me the most is when people act like they are not even there... will not make eye contact or anything. That really bugs me.... people like that need to take a look inside and think about what they are doing to their fellow man... cause you never know when that disabled person might be you or someone you love.
I have always been a person that will offer to help someone in need... opening a door ... getting something off a high shelf... you know things of that nature... never be afraid of showing kindness to anyone ... disabled or not.

Answer 6

I can tell you this. I had and assignment one time where I had to go eat lunch at a resturaunt and I got stuck trying to seat myself and I couldn't get around the table with my food. Finally, some guy asked if I needed help. I've never been so greatful in my life. I was very frustrated. I work with the disabled as a special educator. Anyways, if you see they need help, ask. Hey, do ya need some help with that. If they look like they are doing fine, leave them alone. Also, please remember, there are the types, that even if their wheelchair is stuck in the labrea tar pits, they are going to get offended that you asked if they need help. Screw them. We all need help in life. Some people need help with math, some with writing, some with cooking, normal people. So don't worry about it. Just ask.

Answer 7

It is totally case by case. For example, if someone sees that it is difficult for me to open a door and hold on to my cane at the same time, it would be nice if they offered to open the door. Generally speaking, most disabled people try to do as much as possible without help, so i would suggest waiting to see if the person is have a hard time, then offer assistance in a polite way.

Answer 8

I believe in asking if you can be of any help, you are showing kindness. No one should be offended by the sincere offer of help. If someone is disabled, it is generally obvious, and it would be silly to pretend that you do not see that. It is certainly not the same as pitying them or ignoring the obvious. We are ALL different in some way, by the way!~ :)

Answer 9

They are already aware that they have physical disabilities so you wont cause any bad feelings by offering help. However, many handicapped people have learned to be self reliant and have adapted well to their personal challenge so at the same time you must remember not to feel uncomfortable when they say no thank you.

Answer 10

My brother is in a wheel chair and has been for the last 14 years since his accident...He is now 28...I think this is a great question so I asked him...He informed me that he doesn't mind when people offer their hand and he would rather have that then no help at all...Come to think of it I feel the same way and I am not in the wheel chair! Thanks for asking such a great question!

Answer 11

DO NOT MAKE A FUSS OVER ANYTHING, just let them get situated on their own and just say " let me know if you need anything" and go to another room, and tell them i will be over here if you need anything and leave it at that theres no need to supervise them like children, give them time to get situated. do not ask them a thousand times if they need any help - let them ask you for help and just treat them as you would anyone else. there is no need to walk on egg shells around them.