I was suppose to marry the love of my life almost 2 years ago, and now I found out that now he is getting married. I e- mailed him to congradulate him and, he e-mailed me back saying that we just can't be friends.....Umm who knows why. It just hurts because we dated for 2 years and live together and were ready to get married and then he cheated when I went on vacation, we were best friends for 3 years before we dated and I lost my best friend!! Did I mention I have been dating a guy for the 2 years we've been apart. I think about him everyday and it's been hard!! (the old guy not the one I am with) I just feel horrible like I am lying to the guy I am with by not loving him fully : And don't let me fell to mention that my parents do not let me forget they loved the old guy!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-17 15:09:00 · 9 answers · asked by Brookey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only way to begin healing is making a clean break from this guy. Don't call or email. He does not want you. But for as much as this is painful, just remember that him and the next woman he will cheat on are just a speck of dust in this big world. Don't give it any more importance than that. What do you love about your new guy? If he walked out of your life tomorrow, how would you feel? If you don't like those answers, break it off with him. Separate the two relationships this way. Good luck. Time will heal. You hurt less today than you did two years ago. I know that. You know that. Quit sticking your finger in the flame. Move ahead.
2007-01-17 15:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by ME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What happened to cause the two of you to not get married? Obviously the both of you moved on...although you kept the feelings you have for him still very close to the surface. If he is getting married and can't be friends then you have to accept that because you have to realize that he is moving on and giving his life to another and he can't complicate what he wants for his future. I know it sounds harsh at the moment but maybe later on farther down the road the both of you can have a decent conversation or even try to at least make an effort to not let old feelings come between a friendship. Don't make a mistake by being with someone and not be yourself. Lying to him now will only make matters worse later the more you continue to be in a relationship that you are not 100% sure of. And as far as your parents go....they might have liked the last guy and that's great but he is no longer in the picture and if they want the best for you they wouldn't continue to remind you of how they felt for the old guy. Tell them that he's moved on.....and in order for you to move on the little remarks of how great he was needs to come to an end. I wish you luck. An old flame is never hard to let go of. Keep your head held high and maybe, just maybe you might find someone that makes your heart smile even more than that other guy you thought hung the moon.
2007-01-17 23:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by alymarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound very harsh but I hope you could see my point:
judging by what you wrote, I don't think you want to( or are ready to) move on , because you have not fully come to understand the core meanning of this failed relationship. You refuse to face the cold cold facts that 1: this man was never your best friend, nor the love of your life, because he cheated on you(best friends don't do that to each other, ok?) while you were on vacation.
2: He was never even that in love with you because it took him no time to find and marry another woman
I seriously wish that you didn't get another boyfriend, because a failed relationship is an opportunity for all of us to examine what we have to learn and un-learn about loving others and ourselves.
Jumping right into a new relationship not only is foolish for yourself but also is very very unfair to the other person.
The first thing you need to do is to stop thinking and living as if there is a chance for you to get back to that jerk, ok? and don't
indulge yourself with any chance to contact him. HE IS GONE FOREVER AND THANK GOD FOR IT!
Tell your parents to stop bringing this person up if they really love you.
2007-01-17 23:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a question........ Had the same problem about 3yrs ago...
The truth of the matter is, I did the exact same thing, I jumped into a relationship with another man, a really wonderful guy, but i was still thinking about the ex and still not quite over him.. I finally realised that i was looking to my boyfriend to kinda make me feel better, feel whole again... which wasnt the right thing to do.. I needed to be by myself for a while and i think the same for you.. You should not be in a relationship unless you really love the guy your with......
On the bright side, whats with your family?? F#!@ that.. Who cares if they liked him, He cheated on you... They should be congratulating you for getting rid of the ***!!!!
Please trust me.. You will be ok and after time you will move on and find someone you were meant for... because someone who cheated on you isnt the one...
Good Luck!!!
2007-01-17 23:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by Dr Pink Puppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are holding on to these feelings because fantasy is always better then reality. It's easy to dream about the good times and fantasize about what would have happened if....I bet they are all good things too. But reality is far different. Get real with yourself. He cheated on you? Consider yourself lucky to have found out before you married that buffoon. Cheaters don't change and his new bride will be in for a surprise when he cheats on her! Remember how it felt when you found out he had cheated on you??? Never forget it. He's not your prince charming and you may be ruining a perfectly good thing with your current man. It hardly seems worth it.
2007-01-17 23:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by Chula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you want a wound to heal you don't keep picking the scab off it do you?
Your old boyfriend is telling you that as far as he's concerned, the wound that was your relationship with him is now just a forgotten scar.
2007-01-17 23:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that dilemma, best advise I can give you is try getting involved in things you enjoy doing to help take your mind off things for a while. mending takes time unfortunatly but we all go through it, Its part of life.
2007-01-17 23:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by Steve H. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's over he's obviously moved on and so should you no point in living in the past, why would you want to be with a cheater anyway!!
2007-01-17 23:14:09 · answer #8 · answered by The_Game 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
**** the other guy, just go out and let "loose". Honestly, he wont care, we know ya'll biddys have that time of the month, just do it then, and he'll probably find it funny.
2007-01-17 23:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by RingoM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋