ok my daughter will be 8 next months and just this past weekend we had to put her cat down do to a health problem, today she told her teacher that her cat was playing with her sister now and that he (the cat) would be ok now.
so i asked her about it when she got home and she said that same thing that he was playing with her sister and that even though she has never seen her she know that she is there.
i dont know what to tell her becasue she was a twin and i lost one at only 9 weeks along, could she really know that i was carrying twins?
2007-01-17 14:34:55 · 12 answers · asked by jlw78418 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well twins have a connection, if you will, and it is quite possible your daughter knows that she had a sibling that died. There is a bond that happens in the womb with the sibling and has been said that they have their first interactions with the sibling playing and such. Maybe you should try talking to her about it, I don't think she'll be devestated she seems to already know.
2007-01-17 14:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Since she said the cat was with her sister (and didn't actually ASK about it), at this point I would just say something in general agreement with her, like, "Oh, that's good."
Breaking big news to her right now could leave her shocked by the news that she did have a twin. That would leave her grieving for both her cat and her sister all of a sudden. At age eight, she may have either a spiritual or imaginary connection (or a combination of both) to the person she considers her sister.
My own thought is that she may very well have some spiritual connection to her twin, but at age 8 she may not be ready for the news. I would definitely not lie to her or try to cover it up in any way. When she is ready, she will ask more specifically about it. If she talks about her twin, go ahead and respond in an affirmative way, almost in a way that you would if you assumed she already knows.
Remember, she will come right out and ask you when (or if) she feels the need to know specifics. That is the best time to talk about it. Otherwise, if you want to bring it up to her, I would wait until she is about 12.
2007-01-17 23:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by splitonsevens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! That's amazing! I would ask her more questions about it and see where she is getting the idea that she has a sister. I think an 8 year old is mature enough to handle telling her about her twin. My first child died as an infant and we started telling our younger kids about him as soon as they could look at a picture and say his name. They are all thrilled to know that they have an older brother in heaven and can't wait to meet him. Kids understand more than you think. I have an 8 year old, and I know she would love to know about a twin sister or brother that died before she was born.
2007-01-17 22:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by Pam M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! Its very possible that she knows from instinct that she was a twin. The fact she has an understanding of the afterlife shows a great understanding about life and death. I bet if you were to confirm to her that she was indeed a twin, she will say, "I already know that mommy." When she says that ask her what she remembers about being in the womb. The answer may surprise you.
2007-01-17 22:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by asbratcher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its possible. I miscarried my 10 yr olds twin and she used to sit in her crib and talk to her twin all the time and to this day she asks questions about her twin. Even though I was only a few weeks pregnant when I lost her twin. Ever heard of elderly people saying a baby is talking to an angel? I truly believe in it.
2007-01-18 00:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by themom95 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
kids are smarter than you think, she probably does know she had a twin just by adult chatter about it, maybe its her way of trying to find out if what she think she heard is true and the same can be said about the cat. kids pick up on things we never think they do like for example a call to the vet, etc. children are like sponges they absorb ever detail and then siphon out what they dont need, as for the spiritual connection, i think that is possible also.
2007-01-17 22:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by CelticFairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its not unusual for kids to have imaginary friends and sisters or brothers, but in truth stranger things have happened. she very well may know she was a twin now but in time she will probably forget. kids are not into reality yet and they are so open to what adults think as strange but if only we could really know what kids do, it would blow our minds!! so just go with it and see what comes of it you never know.
2007-01-17 22:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she can be connected to her "lost" twin. And what would you be telling her? Obviously she is quite aware of death/afterlife so there really isn't anything you could tell her. She has her own unique way of dealing with death which is absolutely great.
2007-01-17 22:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think subconsiously she does know about her twin. You should ask her why does she think she has a sister and see what her answer is. I would just play it by ear. Do you want her to know about her sister? She may know she had one and wants confirmation.
2007-01-17 23:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by ms_sassy_jdog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she definitely could know, kids are so spiritually connected.
That's really cool that she's still consciously in touch with her twin after all that time.
:)
2007-01-17 22:39:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋