and that girl is now in her teens and her uncle used to do things to her like touch her and he would make her do things to him like touch him etc. but he never had sex with her and she is having problems w/ it now...... do u think she is over reacting and is it even abuse? and he is dead now does that help?
2007-01-17 14:18:54 · 12 answers · asked by *What Goes Around Comes Around 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It is abuse, sexual abuse and incest since it was with a family member. It doesn't matter the degree of abuse, abuse is abuse. Having the abuser dead now may be nice but it can also cause some issues because she may feel like she never gets to face her abuser. And she does need help. She has a problem trusting men or probably everyone and in order for her to do that and to do anything sexual she needs to talk about it with a counselor or therapist. I would go to someone professional not someone in the church or a friend, she needs someone who knows exacty how to help her so that she can start her life feeling good and not feeling bad.
And there's no way this was her fault. There's no scenario she could come up with that would make any of it her fault. Even if she participated, it doesn't matter. She was too young to make adult decisions.
2007-01-17 14:26:01 · answer #1 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's never overreacting no matter how long ago it happened it was sexual abuse and you don't just get a slap on the wrist from the law they will put the person away in jail for ever making a child do such things.
It is more than wrong and that child whether the uncle is dead or not should see a therapist about it, the child may not have ever had the chance to deal with these feelings and there is help available there are a lot of victims out there of sexual abuse and the people who are making children or women or boy or men do such things should be stopped and the victims to be given proper professional help
2007-01-17 14:53:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are really important questions. She is not over-reacting.
The uncle certainly sexually abused his niece. Any sexual contact, even "touching," between an adult and a child constitutes abuse by the adult. Though it won't help, most sexual abuse of young girls, and young boys, too, is committed by a close relative. So, touching and being touched by an uncle is not all that uncommon.
It is also very common for a girl who has been sexually abused to have problems, especially with sexual relations, later in life. This teenage girl should see a counselor, preferably a woman who is experienced in helping young women who have been sexually abused. She could start with her school counselor, Planned Parenthood, her neighborhood clinic or health center or any TRUSTED adult.
It does not help the teenage girl that her uncle is no longer living, except that he won't be bothering her any more.
Good luck!
This from a retired child protective service worker/supervisor.
2007-01-17 14:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by john_tucson1955 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't over reacting to the abuse, it was very real and it harmed her psyche. That young lady should find someone (a professional) to talk with and work thru her feelings. Leaving this kind of thing undealt with can and usually does cause more trouble down the road.
The uncle being dead only makes telling him off harder.
This girl needs some help YESTERDAY!!!
2007-01-17 14:23:14 · answer #4 · answered by Loli M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, its not over reacting. since the uncle is now dead it is kind of a bitter sweet issue because you dont get the closure you need if you wanted to confront this person. on the other hand the bastard is dead! he cannot hurt anyone else like that ever again. tell someone that you trust what he did. its not good to keep things bottled up. you did nothing to deserve it and you need help so this doesnt follow you all through life and affect your happiness.
2007-01-17 14:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe that this is quite the predicament. Seeing as there are many abuse cases in the United States of America I think that you should call 9-1-1 or your emergency services number and report this after a beating has taken place. However, you could put the 14 year old into karate classes, this way she could learn how to defend herself.
2016-05-24 02:08:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not overreacting one bit and don't let anyone say you are!!!!! what he did to you is wrong. perverts like that should be publically castrated. you were the victim and you should not feel any guilt. he was the adult and he knew what he was doing is wrong. you have a right to be angery, hurt, afraid, and any other feeling you have. it may help that he is dead unless you wanted to confront him about what he did. i would suggest you find a good therapist to help you deal with the feelings you have and put them in a tolerable place--they will never go away but you will learn to cope. i wish you the best.
peace&hope
2007-01-17 14:27:57 · answer #7 · answered by wild&free 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not over reacting! She was violated! She should see a therapist and talk things through. She was a little girl and it was not her fault.Please tell her to get some therapy and as soon as possible.No he being dead will not help.
2007-01-17 14:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being dead is irrelevant and you are not overreacting. I suggest you tell someone you trust what happened. Then I suggest you seek counseling to overcome your problems of dealing with it. Good luck
2007-01-17 14:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by S H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its abuse,i understand shs not over react,her uncle should go to jail for doing that to her!
2007-01-17 14:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋