Mixed Emotions with miscarriage and pregnancy?

Question

I was really excited when I found out I was pregnant in October 06. I was confident that I would be a great mom and could handle the road blocks getting ready to come my way. Happiness soon faded. I miscarried in November 06 with my first pregnancy at three months pregnant. I am 22 and have mixed emotions about everything. I know things happen for a reason but the way the miscarriage turned me around is hard for me to get over. I wanted to be a mom when I was pregnant, but now that I'm not anymore, I realized how my plans for my life have changed. I know what God wants me to do. I still want to get out with my friends and go to college and get a degree in the medical field. I want to make something of myself and experience life now that I'm young. But now that I have a different perspective, it makes me feel like not having enough money and living in a one bedroom apartment is the reason I miscarried. Is it wrong for me feeling the way I do. What should I do?

Answer 1

First, I think that whatever you're feeling is perfectly ok to feel - there's no one way you "should" or "shouldn't" feel. It's natural to blame yourself when something goes wrong; but it's very unlikely that your living situation had anything to do with your miscarriage, as there are many people with far less in the world who go on to carry a child to term.

I think you must allow yourself time to grieve for the lost pregnancy, and that takes as long as it takes. When you feel you are ready, then go for the things you want in life, knowing that you have learned something valuable, even though, like many lessons, it was not an easy thing to do.

Answer 2

Don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you that the way you feel is wrong! You are still young, and there are any number of reasons that a woman can miscarry, genetic problems, stress, who knows? The point is that right now you feel like this is not the right time for you to have a baby, so wait until you have done what you need to do as a young woman and then when the time is right you will get pregnant again! Good luck and remember, there is no wrong way to feel about something like this!

Answer 3

Not having enough money and living in a 1-bedroom apt. had nothing to do w/your miscarrying!! Yes, things happen for a reason and sometimes we don't know what those reasons are!! We just have to take what life hands us and try to adapt and accept.

I had a miscarriage in my 5th month years ago and it was devastating. But almost exactly 3 yrs. after that, I gave birth to my 2nd child.

You are still young and will have another chance at motherhood. Grieving over your loss is natural, but don't blame your living circumstances. Just go on w/your life. You sound like an intelligent, sensitive young woman and I believe you'll achieve wonderful things. Don't blame yourself at all for the miscarriage.
Good luck w/things!!

Answer 4

I can totally understand what you're going through! 7 mths ago I was single and living downtown in a cool appartment going out on the town a lot. Now I am engaged and 5 mths pregnant with a baby girl. She was a surprise and we weren't ready at first, but now we have gotten used to the idea.....on the flip side, I still feel weird when I see my friends live the life I used to....remember the grass is always greener and life gives you what you can handle. Although you'll never forget this baby, you'll probably be more ready for the next one. Good luck!

Answer 5

I was 19 when that happened to me, and I felt exactly the way you described. I was horribly devestated. But, I do realize that things happen for a reason, I have a good job now and some education behind me, I am now in a better position to be a mother. Not that I would have made a bad mother at 19, but my kids will have more now. I am 27 by the way. Believe it or not, the pain fades with time.

Answer 6

specific she is faking it, a million. You ovulate approx 2 weeks earlier your era and then if the egg is fertilized at that element it takes a week or extra till at last it implants interior the uterus it is the element that HCG starts to be produced so certainly the earliest she might know from a attempt is a week earlier her era and extra suitable than possibly that would desire to be too early so she might desire to not have generally happening on the element she reported it. concept and being pregnant dating are 2 countless issues and being pregnant dating works on LMP so if the wellbeing practitioner reported she replace into 5 weeks then the probability is that she have been given pregnant 3 weeks previous to that. this might properly be a woman who has not been to an Ob/Gyn approximately being pregnant or she might have generally happening a majority of those info this might properly be a woman who has made dates as much as extra healthful with your dating. My final miscarriage I bled for roughly 10 days, there is not any way you could know ahead how long that's going to take to end. What you do is walk away and not look lower back, construct the existence you like for your self and don't enable her control you like this.

Answer 7

there is so little known about miscarraiges that i will not say one way or the other, what I can say is that it just wasn't the right time. It happened for a reason, and someday you will know that. I too lost a child 6 mo. ago, and have been questioning it ever since. But now the mother is split from me and I see that it was better. We would just now be haveing it, and we cannot stand each other. We already had a beautiful girl, she is two now, and PLenty to keep us busy.
I wish you all the luck in the future, and hope that someday your dreams will come true

Answer 8

NO, THE REASON WHY YOU HAD A MISCARRIAGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HAVING A ONE BED ROOM APARTMENT. THE REASON WHY PEOPLE HAVE MISCARRIAGES ARE REALLY ONLY KNOWN TO GOD. IF YOU WERE DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE YOU AND YOUR BABY WERE SAFE, THAT IS ALL THAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE. SOME THINGS IN LIFE WE DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER. GOD DOES KNOW THE PLANS FOR OUR LIFES. THINGS DON'T JUST HAPPEN FOR NO REASON. SOMETIMES WE CAN ASK GOS WHY OR HOW COME. BUT, IF WE SIT BACK AND WAIT GOD WILL REVEAL THE REASON WHY IT HAPPENED. YOU WILL HAVE ANOTHER BABY DON'T WORRY. THIS YEAR IS FOR BLESSINGS. IF GOD OPENS A DOOR THIS YEAR, NO MAN CAN CLOSE THE DOOR. GOD JUST WANTS US TO SIT BACK AND LET HIM TAKE CARE OF THINGS. I KNOW THAT IT IS HARD LOOSING A BABY, BUT IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER. MAY GOD BLESS YOU IN THE YEAR OF 2007!!!

Answer 9

Honey, don't feel like a miscarriage is something that you have because you are not financially where you want to be..... Something medically was just not right...... I just had a miscarriage too in December, it sucks, but I believe that God watches over us........You are young and bright....I am sure that you may have stepped off your path in life, and fate was putting it back into place....
Stay strong, enjoy your youth, finish school and you will understand your path, the further along you go on your journey of life

Answer 10

I was 21 when i had mine, it's hard to deal with. It took me a while to get over. If you need someone to talk to about things, feel free to email me.

God bless.