I'm 14, shouldn't my parents leave me alone?

Question

For a year I've strongly resented them, I got in trouble and they were too harsh. They tried to make up several times, but I refused. Now they really want to end my icy attitude toward them. I don't get in trouble, my grades are excellent, they are even proud of me. When at home, I hardly speak, I don't bother them. I'm scared, I feel they'll do something against me, a revenge. This isnt fair.

Answer 1

Maybe your looking at the picture upside-down. They will do nothing against you; All they want is the best for you and to protect you.

Answer 2

Well a million teens at your age have one problem or another with parents. You getting in trouble isn't new to the world. Their reaction was harsh as a kid looks at it---but I'm sure they intended to teach you right from wrong and that there is no reason to do the wrong stuff....NO reason. It is just irresponsible to get in trouble. But kids do and it is a learning experience for them. Don't you think your parents were kids at one time? And that they got in trouble with their folks--yes they did....and they didn't like what happened to them either. But we age and mature and get married and have kids---then we need to rule over them to keep them out of trouble and grow up to do the right thing. The problem is you can't get past it or let it go---that is immature and they will keep being the way they are until you snap out of it and grow up. You are acting like a baby. You are 14 and will see it different as you age. You have no need to act this way towards the people who love you and tried to do the right thing for you. You are acting like a brat. They don't get what you are doing. Talk and tell them what's going on in your life. Talk about school, and whatever you are into. Just smile and be nice. They have pressures too and with everyone being so busy--communications are tough---even a little goes a long way. Be a real member of the family--not some lump that just sits there. You are all too busy and your days go fast--make the most of everyday--smile, talk, help around the house, do your homework...I'll bet if you try--they will meet you half way. If not, in 4 years you can move out. Hey pal, good luck

Answer 3

Your parents love you! That is so important for you to know! I'm sure you have a life you think is more important than that, but you'll come to realize in the future that family is the most valuable part of your life.
An "icy attitude" is only going to get a negative response from them. Not talking is going to make them really want to hear what you have to say. If you want them to leave you alone, grow up and act like an adult. If they see that you're mature you'll eventually get what you want, freedom.
At 14 you're not yet an adult and I know I was not making the best decisions at that age, but if you can demonstrate to them so good choices that you've made with yourself then they will back down.

Answer 4

"When at home, I hardly speak, I don't bother them. I'm scared, I feel they'll do something against me, a revenge. This isnt fair."
What I think is, that you need to GROW UP. If I was a parent and I had a child that treated me like sh*t like the way you do to yours, I would kick your a** and damn the consequences.

You are afraid of revenge from your parents? What are your parents? Serial killers? What makes you think they're going to do anything to you? If they do do anything to you, they might whoop your ***, take all your money away, and beat you with a hammer, but I think you would deserve it. Do you think parents care if you succeed if you treat them and everyone else like ****?

Before you think about whats "fair", think about what YOU did that WASN'T fair.

You should apologize to your parents RIGHT NOW. You're lucky you weren't born to asian parents, and you're lucky you didn't end up in an orphanage.

Answer 5

I'm not sure of what the circumstances are behind the icy attitude or the trouble you got into. Don't let this continue. You will regret it when you grow up and it will affect how you raise your children. Ask your school counselor to arrange family counseling for you and your parents. Tell them how you feel and ask them to mend these problems now. Let them know that you love them. Be honest and ask them to also be honest. Also, RESPECT your parents....right or wrong....they are your parents. GO TO CHURCH WITH YOUR PARENTS. If you have to take them to church, than do it. Don't wait for them to take you....insist that your family attend every week. Remember, you're only 14...you seem like you are growing up too fast. Don't!!.....it will be here soon enough (adulthood) and it is alot longer than your childhood.

Answer 6

You're 14 and have a long life ahead of you. There's a point when you have to choose whether you want to be permanently resentful or get past it. In a year or two you may still be restentful, miserable and scared or you can get over it and see what good it brings you. As long as you are a minor, your parents are responsible for you. They can make your life good or miserable. I'd rather have the good.

What is it you really want from your parents? Are you looking for an apology? Then ask for it. Are you looking for them to rewrite history? Not possible. I know you don't want to hear this, but you will be happier if you forgive you parents.

Answer 7

Your parents wont extract revenge, they have only acted out of concern for your current and future welfare. Unfortunately we parents have a tendency to be too harsh but trust me we hate having to be so. One day you will look back on this and have an understanding of why, particularly when you have your own children. If you feel your privacy is not respected take the adult way and call a family discussion and put your point to them but be open to what they have to say also. Good to hear that you are doing so well with your education it will take you far.

Answer 8

To start believe me your parents love you more than you can imagine , and there is nothing in the world more important to them than you , and believe me they won't do nothing to hurt you revenge or other wise ... That said , first understand that what you are going through is very normal, is called growing up , you are showing your efforts and testing your Independence , and this will grow even stronger with time , as long as you understand it for what it is , and your parents also , the relation can improve by compromising between the both of you , understand and accept your parents position of being parents of only a14 er and your parents position of love , teaching ,bringing you up and their permanent responsibility that they take it to heart , knowing that give them a slack for there position and efforts and I can assure you they will also give you slack as you are growing older , don't rush to grow up ,even if your friends seem to , take it easy , I guarantee you that you will reach and be an adult before you notice it . Be respectful of your parents and they will respect you also , don't wait for then to do the first step , don't be proud you show them you can be a man and you show them your love , things will go smoother .

Answer 9

have you ever considered how they feel? they love you alot, and they are prob. worried about what our going through, 14 is not that old, i know i was there haha, they want the best for you, and no, they wont "do" anything against you. as to the attitude towards them, try and change and see what happens! my guess is that things will get alot better if you just try and talk with them more often.

and if all else fails, tell your parents how you feel, that ALWAYS helps no matter what. again....its not all about you, try imagining what your parents are thinking.

Answer 10

As a parent myself...I know how hard it is to be a parent. Our job is not to be mean or bad parents. Those of us parents that take pride in our parenting jobs do it because we love our children. You are lucky to have parents that are so attentive to you. They only want the best for you in life. It is their job and position to make sure you're on the right track in life and that you turn out to be the best person you can! Later in life you will appreciate and realize how much they really love you!

Answer 11

They are only trying to help you make the best decisions for your life. Fourteen is when teens start getting out of control. It is probably more important for them to pay close attention and monitor you now. You'll be surprised what peer pressure can get you to do when your parents aren't looking. You'll also be surprised at how much you'll appreciate your parents looking out for you later. At least your parents are concerned about you. Many aren't that lucky.