My boyfriend and I live together (which I know in the Bible is a sin), I have a 17 month old daughter, obviously I am not with her dad any longer. I have been blessed with many wonderful things in my life and I just want to say Thank you to the lord. I also wish to bring my child up in a Christian atmosphere with postivie morals to live by. I guess my questions is....will the members of the Church judge me because of the path I have taken in my past? I can't help but to think that they will be looking at me sideways and thinking bad of me. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this?? And please, if you wish to answer negativly, please don't do it here!
2007-01-17 13:34:45 · 49 answers · asked by Easter Bunny 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
there are a lot of younger churches that take a fresher approach to the meaning of the bible. many will advertise 'come as you are' and it is not uncommon to see folks in jeans mixed in with those dressed to the nines. these tend to be very inclusive and might even be worth you traveling a couple towns over to visit every week. good luck.
try anything with the name 'harvest church' or nondenominational christian, interdenominational christian, etc.
2007-01-17 13:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by gabound75 5 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Well, obviously you know you're doing something wrong...in many states your living situation is illegal, too. If you want to bring your daughter up in a "Christian atmosphere with positive morals to live by," maybe you should start by being a good example. Either move the boyfriend out or get married. You have no one to be judged by but God. If small minded people "look sideways" at you, that's THEIR problem. If Jesus can forgive the woman at the well (John 4:4-26), then who are THEY? If they can't forgive what you did in your past (which they don't need to know about, anyway), does that make them better than Jesus? NOT AT ALL. To find a Bible believing, Bible teaching church, go to the following website and click on FIND A MISSIONARY and then put in your zip code. This ministry is geared toward children from 3 years to senior high. Read WHAT WE BELIEVE and if you agree with that, then the churches listed are for you.
Blessings and I hope things work out for you. Numbers 6:24-26
2007-01-17 13:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wold like to say congratulations to you and high five! I think that yoiu need to find the right church that is open to new members. Some members may look at you a little in the beginning, but lets face it, they should be proud of you for starting a new life. Everyone makes mistakes and decisions that may not have been the best in their lives, but it is wonderful when people try to make a change towards the better! If they can't get past your having a daughter out of wedlock and your living situation, then that is their problems, they aren't God and therefor have no right to judge you or your decisions! And it may take a few churches to find the one that best suits you and your family, but you will eventually find it! Don't get discouraged, stay strong and remember that this is for you and your daughter! Congratulations for making a decision to bring your child up in a Christian home!
2007-01-17 13:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by jen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but there most likely will be people in just about any church you go to who will sneer at you or treat you rather unkindly. However, you have to look beyond those people and remember why you are in church: the love of God and the salvation offered through Jesus. I left the Baptist church due to a similar reason. I was sick of the hypocrisy I saw on Sunday morning in the many faces that I saw drunk on Saturday night. I never had a problem with drinking. That isn't a sin. Getting drunk is. However, I'd see so many holy roly people at the bar getting drunk and then they'd be in church the next day screaming about alcohol and how bad it is.
By the way, that wasn't my only reason for leaving the Baptist church. I found my true home in the Catholic Church. Sure, there are plenty of hypocrites there, but the Church is a great navigator for my faith.
Whatever church you decide to attend, know that there will be bad people in it, but there will also be plenty of people who know where you're coming from and will help you as much as they can. I'll pray for you.
2007-01-17 13:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by kenrayf 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl, If I were you I would do what you think best and not worry about what any Church goer wants to think. If you don't tell them how will they ever know that you were an unwed mother and don't have a husband.
Those types of people who make comments are not all in Churches, or belong to any religion. These are people who are bigots and love to create mischief.
Granted we have been bombarded with sterotypical characters in movies that poretray this bigoted attitudes towards women who elect to be single with a child. But it's just that! Hollywood nonsense.
I am not religious or a Church goer and i don;t think you need a Church or any of its congregation to bring up your child to have good morals or to care for others. However you may want to feel part of a community and have the social aspect that some Church groups offer. So if that is what you feel you need by all means use it to yours and your childs advatage. Rise above those who would put you down.
2007-01-17 13:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by Shelty K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was living w/ someone when I started going back to church. I grew up in church, and I knew it was wrong, but I also knew that I missed my relationship w/ God. So, I just started going one Sunday. My man came w/ me, and we told the pastor that we were living together. He said yes, that is was wrong, but that it didn't change the way he felt about us. See, God meets you where you are. You will change when the time is right. As for people judging you, it really depends on the church. I have been to many churches, and I would say that none of them are judgemental at all. My advice to you is to go to church. That is the first step. There is a verse in the Bible that says something like - let the person who is without sin cast the first stone. There is only One worthy of judging, and that is God. Anyone who believes this will not judge you. I have to say that I am now married to the person I was living with, and it is helpful when your guy is supportive of this decision, but even if he's not, trust me, it will all work out. God Bless, Mandie If you have other questions feel free to email me anytime.
2007-01-17 13:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by mandie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's so great that you're at a point where you're ready to attend church regularly! If you don't have a sect of Christianity in mind, my suggestion would be to go to a few different ones, ask friends, etc which churches are good in the area. Personally, I'm catholic, and my mom has the same problems. She too fears her perception in church-goers eyes. But the point is not "how will they think of me" but rather "how will God think of me"! Regardless of where you go there will be at least a group who will accept you if you make an honest attempt to get involved. Knowing you have a young child, perhaps look into groups that would benefit them. I wont lie, some unfortunate people will judge you, as with everywhere, no matter who you are, but you have to be strong enough to look past them and seek His truth in everything you do. As long as you're actively doing that, you're on track.
2007-01-17 13:41:42 · answer #7 · answered by Taylor G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello;
The most important thing right now is how you appear in the eyes of God. You recognize you are a sinner. That is a start. Then confess to God your sins, acknowledge that Jesus is your Savior. You must make this confession before others. Take classes and then be baptized by immersion. Your sins will be washed away forever and never be remembered by God.
If you join a Christian church, the members will welcome you without judgment. If they do, then they are wrong. After your confession of faith, God no longer condemns you, your free!
We don't like being judged, or saying that we were wrong. But the most important thing is. That on Judgment Day, you will be judged by God, not by the members of any church.
Get your child into Sunday school as soon as possible. Have her baptized when she understands what that means.
" Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life."
Revelation 2:10. If I can help further, write to me.
Donald
2007-01-17 13:53:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The right church is one that won't judge you. It is not our place to judge, only you know what is in your heart!! I am glad that you want to find a church. Here's some guidelines that might help you, what do you believe? Find a church that is Bible based; one that doesn't compromise on its doctrine and one that you feel at home in. Also, one that has a nursery for your sweet little angel and a ladies' group would help you both spiritually. I applaud you for wanting your child to grow up in the church.
I go to a Independent, Fundamental Baptist church and our congregation is a mixture of people, the way God truly intended for His people to worship, not as a bunch of Pharisees. Good luck
2007-01-17 13:54:35 · answer #9 · answered by the pink baker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you go to church it's to impress anyone. It's for to learn and grow in the Lord. Building a relationship with God for you and your child should be your goal. Don't worry about PEOPLE looking at you negatively. Saint or sinner people will always have something to say. Your making positive choices now. Look for a church home that you feel loved and accepted (its one for you).Being active in church and around good people will also convict you of the wrong in your life. It will make you want to change and live better(I'm going through it now). Anyway be blessed not stressed and keeping pressing for the goal!
2007-01-17 13:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation. I got pregnant young and now have a 19 month old son. I live with his dad and it makes me scared to start going to a church. The best that I can say is don't worry about their judgement. The good thing is that you are going to church. If they judge you then they are hypocrites. Your faith should be based on what you believe. They are sinning if their judgement is driving you away from God. They should be thankful that you are willing to face your sins and ask God for his forgiveness.
2007-01-17 13:41:35 · answer #11 · answered by Mommy to Boys 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋