In this day and age when people are more open-minded, I am suprised at the reaction I get when I say I don't want to have children. I don't say it in a negative way like I hate kids...I love kids-I work with special needs kids at my job. It's just that I've never felt the desire to have my own children. People always say, "oh, I'm sure you'll change your mind" but what if I don't? Will I be chastised because people will assume I'm a selfish, horrible person for not reproducing? I have thought this through a lot and am pretty sure I'd like to spend my time and efforts doing volunteer work instead of raising kids. People make the choice to have kids, why can't I make the choice not to?
2007-01-17 13:24:35 · 14 answers · asked by Froggy78 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm 41, happily married, and child-free. I don't want to have children. Now that I am getting older, people have started to understand finally. But occasionally I still get negative reactions from other people about it. Yes, I've heard the "you'll change your mind" reply. I've also have many people tell me I'm selfish, I don't know what I'm missing, and they ask why I don't like children (I like other people's kids). Now I get people who tell me that I need to hurry up and have kids so they can take care of me when I'm older (as if that's a guarantee that they would or a good reason to have a child). The reaction that I dislike the most is sympathy or actual pity because of the choice I made. My husband and I are happy with the choice. I know it's tough but do what you feel is best for you---and good luck with the negativity. If you're like me, you'll be putting up with it for a long time.
2007-01-17 21:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by Witchy 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I'm 42 and never got married or had kids. I will probably change my mind on the marriage thing--it would be nice to have someone to share my life with and grow old together--but no way do I want children, especially at my age. I never had any interesting in having them, they're too much bother to raise, I can barely take care of my own needs let alone the needs of a child, and there are already too many humans in the world. Far from being selfish, you are doing the world a favor by not adding to the population, and by freeing up your time so you can help the children who are already here.
Of course, you can always just tell people, "I love children--I just can't eat a whole one." That might shut them up. :o)
2007-01-17 13:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by Antique Silver Buttons 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for your choice and it is your God given right to choose not to have children. My wife and I have been married 14 years and no children. Our choice, hers first and then after my kids from my first wife turned on me, I decided that having children is too overrated.
I know what you go through as my wife is constantly being told she will change her mind and want kids later. I doubt that since she is 37 years old and still has no desire to have children.
Just try and overlook those comments, most people are told all their life that it is our purpose to get married and raise children. That is what they believe because it is what they have been taught.
I am 54 and am glad my wife does not want children. I do not want to be raising kids at my age. I regret having the 2 I did have.
2007-01-17 13:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I had an art history teacher in college who didn't want kids, and eveyone's jaw dropped.
*jaw dropping*
I think it is because it is the "American Dream" (well, at least here in america...) to get married to a suit-and-tie husband, live in a house with a white picket fence and raise beautiful, smart children.
I would rather some people choose NOT to have children. You probably know them too, and it's not always the dad who never comes home, the the coked out mother, it's usually the dad who works 35780275843025783920 hours a week and the mother who would rather drag her son to the salon that to little league.
At least you know that you don't want to have kids now...its better than finding out afterwards...ha ha
And it's one less person with a "I have a honors student at (insert school name here)" bumper sticker on the car. I detest those bumper stickers. Grr...
2007-01-17 13:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by Axel 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Some people just don't want to have kids. I don't want them. People think I'm selfish. I just don't want kids! What's so bad about that? And some people should consider not having children. We're going to be hitting maximum capacity population here. It's called birth control, people. USE IT. Do your generation and the others after you a favor. Don't go have 20 kids. Have one or two if you have to. Don't go nuts.
2007-01-17 13:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by xLovexLikexWinterx 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
it's your life, the decision to have children or not have children is intensely personal and is no one's business but yours. There's nothing wrong with deciding to remain childless. Sounds to me like you already have a full life so be happy and don't worry about what other people's opinions are. Hey, I've got four kids and I catch grief because people think I have too many kids. :)
2007-01-17 13:35:34 · answer #6 · answered by 4 Shades of Blue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get this too, I don't want kids, i'm only 19 but I guess it is possible for me to change my mind. As of right now though, I don't want kids, and not for a long time. Everyone always tells me i'll change my mind as well.
Just do your own thing, and what makes you happy, and don't worry about anyone else.
2007-01-17 13:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by Dink 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Having infants is the two, culturally and biologically brought about. regrettably, maximum human beings won't be in a position to think of absolutely everyone feeling in any different case than they, especially while it is composed of having infants. you reside your existence for your self, not your pals. human beings might desire to have infants provided that they truly need to, not because of the fact they experience they might desire to. that's not common for the two the discern or the newborn. you will might desire to get used to others' attitudes in the direction of your selection. in my view, I assist you. There are way too many human beings interior the international mind-blowing now. we don't choose from now on. Too many infants are born, then discarded. They then replace into society's burden. I resent people who will gladly deliver infants into the international, yet have no intent of being responsible for them. those human beings might desire to be sterilized. in case you elect you elect to have infants, then have infants. in case you do, carry on with up with your accountability to them and the society you reside in. in case you elect you do not desire infants, then do not. That selection is your mind-blowing to make to your very own motives. no person else desires to understand or accept as true with it.
2016-10-07 07:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by regula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you don't want to have kids then that's your own choice. No need for you to have them if you don't want them. Especially when you work around children all day anyway. I say good for you for knowing what you want
2007-01-17 13:30:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's your body, your life, live it as you want.
I understand, for I have no kids (other than my partners 2 boys), never really thought about kids of my own, and think nothing about not having kids.
I respect those who have children, and I respect those who chose not to.
2007-01-17 13:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by Robert S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋