What is the right age to get married?

Question

I am 20 going to be 21 in June. We are planning to get married April 2009. I would already be married if it werent for the fact that i promised my parents i would wait until i finished my 4 years of college. My fiance and i have been together for 3 years. Everyone keeps telling that i am way to young tobe thinking of marriage and that it is a mistake. My question is ....what is a good age to get married.

I am going to wait till i finish school. I graduate May 2008 that is why we are planning the wedding April 2009.

There is no doubt in my mind of what i want to do. I love my fiance money isnt a issue for reasons i dont care to discuss...i just wanted to know what other people out there think.

Answer 1

I have no doubt that you love this man. You sound very responsible to keep to your promise to your parents. By the time you are out of college, you will be 24, 25ish... and 25 and up is a good age to get married. You still have the rest of your college years to go and you never know what will happen. With your feelings, his feelings, etc.. I do agree that 20-21 is too young to get married. When you are 30 or even older, you will be glad you waited. Finish college and establish a career FIRST! This way, once you marry, you will be ready to give it your all. If your career is established and you wish to have children, you will be able to do that. (Meaning you'll have the benefits of the FMLA, medical, etc. FMLA is the family medical leave act which you need to be at the job for 1 year and you are promised a job to come back to). I was engaged to someone I was with for 5 years when I was 23. I never went through with the wedding because I realized I had so much "life" to live and wasn't ready. Now, 31, and my wedding is 6 months away. I'm very thankful I waited. I had a fantastic time in my 20's and now I will marry the most wonderful man in the world. I'm glad, happy, thankful, I waited. Bottom line, only you can decide. Ask yourself, "What difference would it make if I did it now, when I'm 25 or 30?"
Good luck! (with college too!)

Answer 2

Well it is a good idea to finish college first. The reason people are saying you are too young is because you will still be going through changes mentally over the next few years and that puts strain on relationships, as do money problems. People are suggesting that you wait until you find yourself and are financially well established (rather than some arbitrary age). They also might be worried that you still want to explore or party. Marriage entails sacrifice and the willingness to put the other person first at times. People in their low 20s statistically don't always fit that description, but many people who married in their early 20s stayed married the rest of their lives. Bottom line, do what you think is best, but at least consider their advice.

Answer 3

Awe I will be 21 in June too and me and by boyfriend have been together for 3 1/2 years. And we are waiting to graduate before we are married as well. (We have a lot in common) With that said...
I feel like if you can support yourself and you have the person that God desires for you to be with then that is the perfect time to get married. Some people just don't understand that after waiting to graduate from college before you get married is very hard to do when you have meet the ONE. Good luck!

Answer 4

As a general answer to your question, I think it's reasonable for women to wait at least until age 25 to get married, and for men age 30. The disparity is for several reasons - one of which is that men can become fathers at any age, but women have a limited time frame.

But to address your specific situation - you've been dating the same guy since you were 17? He may or may not be the right guy for you, but you have no means of comparison since you've never dated anyone else as an adult. On the other hand, if in another 2 1/2 years you're still absolutely sure, then take the plunge.

Generally, I think young adult years should be used to date different people so that you get a clearer idea of who you are, what you want, what you can expect, and to learn about the world in general. I know you're crazy about your guy, but I hope for his sake you don't have the urge in five years to try find what you've missed out on. Yes, I know you think that wouldn't happen to you - but believe me, I've seen it happen.

I got married at age 37 to my wife at age 31. Now, six years later, we have a 3-year old boy and a 1-year old girl; we have a nice house in a nice neighborhood; and we can afford to have my wife stay home with the kids. Here in San Diego, this the exception to the usual two-income family that struggles to afford a home.

Answer 5

First of all, you do what you think is right for you...anything. When it comes to marriage, millions do it and have a real nice life. I think you are ready when you are mature enough to accept responsibility and have completed all you wanted to do while you were simgle. I mean drive the car you want, hang with friends, travel, ---all the stuff that you might not get to do once you marry. A marriage and kids means your priorities will change and everything you do for 18 years will go towards raising the family. Too late to say you regret it and you are in a boring rut. You need to explore exactly how your partner thinks about these issues. Resign yourself to the fact that your life will be with ONE person....and you both better knoow what the word LOVE means. It is a 2 way street and you better both be flexible. Both need to continue to grow and learn and then pass your wisdom down to the children. It is a LIFELONG committment......you aren't supposed to walk away from it. Enter it with an open mind, plenty of money saved and a roof over your head. Remember that things can happen that will test your integrity and limits....sickness. death, money problems, etc. .....How will you cope with that stuff? I wish you luck.

Answer 6

There is no good age to get married...it all depends on the individual and how mature you are. But you are on the right tracking by waiting until you finish college. Do you feel that you're too young to be married? Listen to your heart.
I got married at 19 and some people that I was too young too. But I've been happily married almost 12 years. My only regret was not finishing college...it's was difficult going back to school with a family.

Answer 7

The best age to get married...hmmm. Well, it's the age that you truly know what you want, the age at which you are planning to marry for the right reasons-can't imagine life without your partner, want to grow old with that partner, the age at which you would be fine living alone but choose to live and grow and share with this person. If you've never lived on your own, maybe that would be something to think about...or not. Only you know. Just focus on your reasons for marrying as opposed to your reasons for not going through with it. Maybe there is a bit of doubt in your mind with posting this question? I don't know; I could be way off base, but ask yourself what age you think you would bring your best to this marriage. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

everyone is right
from a statistical standpoint, those who get married in your age group divorce at 85%.. 85% !!!!

that's like saying if you flew regularly and then found out that airlines were crashing on take off or landing 6 out of 8 times... would you fly?

the main reason that young love oftne divorces is at 21 or 22 neither are establsihed in a given career, besides whats the RUSH to get married? and ealry on for most guys career is EVERYTHING.. problem is women do not liek such a competion so they lay heavy guilt trip to get married before a guy is ready, sooner or latr ( and usally sooner ) a kids comes and then his career aspirations are over and then he'll resent you..
evetually you end up divoced like so many.....
so many young couple also marry ot get AWAY from their parents / enviroment.. and they do not have a clue what exaclty they are getting in to. The other aspect is that there is so much you learn about each other and most of the time you will not like what you find as neither of you are mature enough to handle all the ins and out of a marriage.. expectaion on both sides ( usally women ) will be unrealistic, and once unemt discontent WILL set in, hence why cheating often occurs in very young marriages...men ( and increasingly women ) get the feeling that they jumped aboard too soon without seeing what else they may be missing in temrs of travel, other companions and pleasures that single people enjoy.
Finally there will be the "assumed" and "unplanned" future that genrally no one talks about but EVERYONE sooner or later comes up agaisnt as belief systems come in to play ( you might be Jewish and he Muslim for example ) and what you assumed resposiblities and duties are verses his..
and then there is the money issue...
you ar both signing a pre nup right with seperate attorneys right???
rememeber marriag is not about love...
it a 2 corporation merger as the state and legal system see it ( hence why you need a license and it's recorded along with ANY name changes ), that involves a contract between 2 corporations ( his and yours ) and why in family court it's not divorce.. it's called dissolution of marriage ( basically your disolving the corporation merger ) and hence why assest come into play when divorcing. in fact when you file for divorce, you are suing the other party and you wait for the judgement to come in ( in your favor since you filed )

Answer 9

A good age is only when you are first, old enough to get married, second if you two are financially stable, third can take care of a lot of extra responsibilities like a house or apartment. Then the main thing that counts is if you two really love each other. If that's how you two really feel then forget what everyone else has to say cause your happiness is what counts. Everything else will falll into place.

Answer 10

It is not that you are too young to get married, it's that you have only been on this earth and experienced life for 20 years and there are so many more things, esp with college, that are left to experience. You have the next 80 years of your life to get married, and ya know, if that person loves you, they will stick around. I have been living with my b/f for 2 years, and we've been together for 4 and he wanted to get married 2 years ago, but he knows i want to wait and finish college and that we're secure and have the means to get married. He is cool with it, and we will get married, but I am only 22. It's not 1945. But, if you feel in your heart that you are mature enough to be with that person, and mature enough to handle that responsibility, go for it, and good luck!